Spectre
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Window"This is book two of a trilogy book 1 "Ghost"
12 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
I always hold my breath waiting for the horrible thing that always happens. This chapter was a delight to read. Your new friend proved to be a good friend who helped you have an enjoyable evening. Then, you were hired by a fast food restaurant. All good news. Now, there's a crash and scream. Great cliffhanger. See you in the next chapter.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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I always hold my breath waiting for the horrible thing that always happens. This chapter was a delight to read. Your new friend proved to be a good friend who helped you have an enjoyable evening. Then, you were hired by a fast food restaurant. All good news. Now, there's a crash and scream. Great cliffhanger. See you in the next chapter.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked this one I tried to leave a reason to turn the page for sure. Even though all events are true I have to take a break somewhere in there. Thank you again. I appreciate all your comments and I'm glad you enjoyed this one. I hope you have an awesome evening!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I liked reading this. It made sense from beginning to end. I only noticed one fragment of a sentence toward the very end:
One night I was sleeping on the hard couch, for once no nightmares.
When a loud crash and a scream awoke me....
I think you could just say:
One night I was sleeping on the hard couch, for once with no nightmares,
when a loud crash and a scream awoke me....
I guess the word 'bonus' in slang where you were would mean 'excellent.'
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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I liked reading this. It made sense from beginning to end. I only noticed one fragment of a sentence toward the very end:
One night I was sleeping on the hard couch, for once no nightmares.
When a loud crash and a scream awoke me....
I think you could just say:
One night I was sleeping on the hard couch, for once with no nightmares,
when a loud crash and a scream awoke me....
I guess the word 'bonus' in slang where you were would mean 'excellent.'
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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Thank you great suggestion I appreciate that! All suggestions and changes and editing is all worth gold to me How do I learn it? Not this way? Thank you my friend I hope you have an amazing night!
Comment from Jim Wile
So glad you took the weekend off, Lea. A break was probably very welcome to you, and it sounds idyllic where you were.
In the story, it seems like you finally had a couple of good weeks beginning with the fun time at the kids' center with your new friend, coupled with a new job that started out well, but by the tone of the beginning remarks, and the last line of the narration, it seems like you are headed for more rough times. Why can't the good times last for you? Ugh! So unfair.
Dying to hear more! - Jim
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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So glad you took the weekend off, Lea. A break was probably very welcome to you, and it sounds idyllic where you were.
In the story, it seems like you finally had a couple of good weeks beginning with the fun time at the kids' center with your new friend, coupled with a new job that started out well, but by the tone of the beginning remarks, and the last line of the narration, it seems like you are headed for more rough times. Why can't the good times last for you? Ugh! So unfair.
Dying to hear more! - Jim
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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A lot of the trails I went through after I left home where pure ignorance not knowing what to do is what not to do in many ways however. It's always I appreciate You're review you always have gift such amazing ones! Your comments and your kind heart Are amazing to me I hope your night is great!
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Well, how would you know what to do? You were somewhat naive and lived a very sheltered life, none of it your fault. I hope you aren't too hard on yourself about making a few mistakes here and there.
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I was though I have eased off overtime. Understanding myself helps. Thank you again for your compassion and your empathy!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this addition with us. You left a fantastic hook at the end. I can't wait to see what the crash is.
The next morning I made the call and spoke with the restaurant manager. (The following morning, 'following and add the comma')
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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Thank you for sharing this addition with us. You left a fantastic hook at the end. I can't wait to see what the crash is.
The next morning I made the call and spoke with the restaurant manager. (The following morning, 'following and add the comma')
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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Thank you Barbara I went ahead and changed that thank you so much! I thank you also for reading and for your review one such as you is a privilege to receive thank you again!
Comment from EILEEN LAW
I love your creativity - your shattered innocence almost feels like naivety. However as I know better, the pain is all that is known. It flows from your heart to the tips of your fingers finding pen to put to paper. flow freely and live in the freedom.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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I love your creativity - your shattered innocence almost feels like naivety. However as I know better, the pain is all that is known. It flows from your heart to the tips of your fingers finding pen to put to paper. flow freely and live in the freedom.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you again lady!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
You have the most delicious knack for enticing your readers to NEED to read your next chapter. It's more than just a desire, it's a NEED. First, you bring us relief --a reprieve from the horrors past that includes a new NICE friend, others your age engaging in FUN activities, a very normal-seeming night-- then you raise us a little higher with the promise of a job. And then, WHAM! Something amiss above your head...and that's where you leave us. Like I said: masterful.
Also, I am finding your daily poems becoming more and more deep and soul-wrenching and spot-on in their creativity and CLARITY every day. You continue to blossom in so many ways, Lea. It's a beautiful process to watch. I'm enjoying it very much.
Just a couple spags, Sweetie:
muck that's one of the reasons I **apprecnature** so very much. It brings me back to the core of myself.
More stories fly ***,*** more lies, more deception.
he explained**ed** belong to his father.
**just as** EVEN MORE festive **as** THAN the outside but **, more so**[delete].
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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You have the most delicious knack for enticing your readers to NEED to read your next chapter. It's more than just a desire, it's a NEED. First, you bring us relief --a reprieve from the horrors past that includes a new NICE friend, others your age engaging in FUN activities, a very normal-seeming night-- then you raise us a little higher with the promise of a job. And then, WHAM! Something amiss above your head...and that's where you leave us. Like I said: masterful.
Also, I am finding your daily poems becoming more and more deep and soul-wrenching and spot-on in their creativity and CLARITY every day. You continue to blossom in so many ways, Lea. It's a beautiful process to watch. I'm enjoying it very much.
Just a couple spags, Sweetie:
muck that's one of the reasons I **apprecnature** so very much. It brings me back to the core of myself.
More stories fly ***,*** more lies, more deception.
he explained**ed** belong to his father.
**just as** EVEN MORE festive **as** THAN the outside but **, more so**[delete].
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you, my darling friend. You're reduced, meaning very much to me, and you always have such great suggestions. Great comments and always keep me standing. I thank you for that I thank you for your review and your fine rating!
Comment from BethShelby
I missed you over the weekend. I always go to you story first. Now that you left us hanging with a crash and a scream, I hope you want keep us waiting. If I were you, I'd have my DNA done to see who really is your father. It aways turns up relatives,
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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I missed you over the weekend. I always go to you story first. Now that you left us hanging with a crash and a scream, I hope you want keep us waiting. If I were you, I'd have my DNA done to see who really is your father. It aways turns up relatives,
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Really nice to see you here! Yes, I had to take a couple days clean out my brain. Lol. Thank you again for your fine review. And yes, I will certainly have testing done absolutely. But I think it also indicates another thing that my mother is not like. Grandfather's biological child doesn't surprise me so many are not in my family. Thank you so very much again for hanging in there with me. I appreciate seeing you here and offering your comments and your fine review. Thank you so much!
Comment from JSD
You love mountains, don't you!
Oh for goodness sake. You take us through the mill! We were just relaxing with you and then there is a classic cliffhanger alarm. Aargh!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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You love mountains, don't you!
Oh for goodness sake. You take us through the mill! We were just relaxing with you and then there is a classic cliffhanger alarm. Aargh!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Yes, I know I'm sorry. I was so Naive in those days. I didn't know what was what was anything really. I don't stumbling around in the dark. Thank you so much for reading and I'll bring your interesting comment that made me kind of smile. Thank you have a great night!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I'm so gratified that things are getting calmer for you, at least in your story. There's hope that you might be able to get one rung up that ladder to some kind of tenuous stability. Your introduction is an absolute joy to read in your celebration of nature, the mountains and the forest. How insignificant we seem in comparison, a theme always apparent in your writing. There are some small edits: belong(ed) to his father; couple (of) times; I apprec(iate) nature. But, oh dear, another cliff-hanger! Thanks for sharing, Lea. Your story continues, as ever, so engagingly. I wish you luck. Debbie
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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I'm so gratified that things are getting calmer for you, at least in your story. There's hope that you might be able to get one rung up that ladder to some kind of tenuous stability. Your introduction is an absolute joy to read in your celebration of nature, the mountains and the forest. How insignificant we seem in comparison, a theme always apparent in your writing. There are some small edits: belong(ed) to his father; couple (of) times; I apprec(iate) nature. But, oh dear, another cliff-hanger! Thanks for sharing, Lea. Your story continues, as ever, so engagingly. I wish you luck. Debbie
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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Thank you, Debbie, thank you for your suggestions for edit. Thank you for reading as always it's a pleasure to have you! Your reviews always means a lot to me. And I hope you have the best evening!
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Lea,
Well, it sounds like things might be looking up. With the exception of the last line, which was a bit troubling. You were really overdue for some good things in your life gal. I love the picture you took. Everywhere I look around here there is snow, which has a beauty of its own, but I like seeing green. Nice job gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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Hello Lea,
Well, it sounds like things might be looking up. With the exception of the last line, which was a bit troubling. You were really overdue for some good things in your life gal. I love the picture you took. Everywhere I look around here there is snow, which has a beauty of its own, but I like seeing green. Nice job gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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Thank you Tom you're in a beautiful part of the world too! I'm happy To see you here and to see your reviews, I do I appreciate you reading along Hanging in there with me. Thank you again. You're fine with you and fine rating. I hope you have a blessed evening as well!