Spectre
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "The Shore"This is book two of a trilogy book 1 "Ghost"
12 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This chapter reminds the reader how very tired of trying to survive on your own you must have been. This chapter also ends with a second try at recalling a phone number of someone you knew slightly.
Here is a strong description:
Despair welled up within me. I began to feel frantic not knowing which way to turn. Tears of frustration, sadness and fear rolled down my face in torrents.
I would put a comma after the word 'frantic' and after the word 'sadness' as well.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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This chapter reminds the reader how very tired of trying to survive on your own you must have been. This chapter also ends with a second try at recalling a phone number of someone you knew slightly.
Here is a strong description:
Despair welled up within me. I began to feel frantic not knowing which way to turn. Tears of frustration, sadness and fear rolled down my face in torrents.
I would put a comma after the word 'frantic' and after the word 'sadness' as well.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Thank you for your insight and you're awesome edit suggestions as you know they are precious to me I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and that the big fat guy gave you some stuff that you wanted and I hope that your New year's is even better than that you have a wonderful day thank you again!
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Yes, happy New Year to you, too. At my age (54) I just go shopping a little after Christmas after getting family members stuff, ha ha.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This chapter was full of drama and held my interests. You did a great job describing this young woman in desperate situation. I love the happy ending. I cheer for her.
Well done.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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This chapter was full of drama and held my interests. You did a great job describing this young woman in desperate situation. I love the happy ending. I cheer for her.
Well done.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much I appreciate your kind with you really I do I'm so sorry I was late in responding I got an awful accident and have 3rd degree burns I did it right with my Christmas turkey too holy thank you for this again I hope your Christmas was great and that your new year is even better and that your day is fabulous!
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Sorry. I hope you are better now. I?m in Los Angeles enjoying my son? company and the bright sunshine.
Happy New Year
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am hoping P answers this time. I guess we'll have to wait and see. I pray you have a wonderful Christmas.
"Hello?" A womans voice asked. (a woman's)
I put in my last time and (last dime??))
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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I am hoping P answers this time. I guess we'll have to wait and see. I pray you have a wonderful Christmas.
"Hello?" A womans voice asked. (a woman's)
I put in my last time and (last dime??))
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Hi Barbara thank you so much again for this review I appreciate it again my apologies for not getting back to you sooner as mentioned I've had an awful accident I hope that you are well that your Christmas is Grand your New year's will be even better and that your day is wonderful thank you again!
Comment from BethShelby
I hope you got the number right that time and he is willing to help. I'm looking forward to seeing how you will get out of this situation. i wonder if you still have the job you got earlier. So far, not much has gone right for you. I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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I hope you got the number right that time and he is willing to help. I'm looking forward to seeing how you will get out of this situation. i wonder if you still have the job you got earlier. So far, not much has gone right for you. I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Further to my email Beth thank you so much for this honor and fine review my apologies for getting back so late I hope your day is wonderful and your New years is especially awesome thanks again!
Comment from JSD
Aww. This is a good one. Enjoyed this. Peace in McDonalds and a friendly voice at the end of a phone line. Let's have some happiness for Christmas? Thank you and take care. X
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Aww. This is a good one. Enjoyed this. Peace in McDonalds and a friendly voice at the end of a phone line. Let's have some happiness for Christmas? Thank you and take care. X
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Hi thank you so much for your kind review and your wonderful comments I appreciate this so much and I wish to apologize for my late reply I've had a terrible accident and received third degree burns but I wanted to say thank you for this and hope that you had a good Christmas and that your new year will be even better have a great day too thanks again!
Comment from Lisasview
Very exciting Lea and seems to have nothing that needs editing.
Looking forward to the next part.
I am reading this early in the morning ... really cold morning...
Lisa......
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Very exciting Lea and seems to have nothing that needs editing.
Looking forward to the next part.
I am reading this early in the morning ... really cold morning...
Lisa......
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Hi Lisa so sorry for my late reply I suffered 3rd degree burns and been in a lot of pain I hope your Christmas was great and I hope your New year the even more amazing I thank you for your wonderful review and wish you the best day!
Comment from Ric Myworld
I probably haven't had McDonald's for 25-years, after seeing those people leave a quarter pounder on the sidewalk in the hot Florida sun for two weeks and it didn't even grow mold. Plus learning that they buy mostly diseased cattle because it's cheaper. But after reading your last chapter, I went in for lunch and bought a Big Mac, Quarter Pounder with cheese, and a large fry. I ate about half of both, but loved every bite. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter and making me think about rum balls and Christmas chocolates. :-)
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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I probably haven't had McDonald's for 25-years, after seeing those people leave a quarter pounder on the sidewalk in the hot Florida sun for two weeks and it didn't even grow mold. Plus learning that they buy mostly diseased cattle because it's cheaper. But after reading your last chapter, I went in for lunch and bought a Big Mac, Quarter Pounder with cheese, and a large fry. I ate about half of both, but loved every bite. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter and making me think about rum balls and Christmas chocolates. :-)
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Hi Ric thank you again for your kind review! Again my apologies for my late reply I am in a lot of pain a little better than I was before so I'm able to return this wonderful review and wish you a happy New year and hope that your day is amazing thank you again!
Comment from Jim Wile
I can't imagine being in a situation like that after vacating the McDonald's. Nowhere to live, no family to call, no friends around except for one unlikely possibility whose phone number you aren't even sure of. You can't go to the authorities because you know this will result in your being sent back to your grandmother. God, what a mess. This has to be a fairly low point in your life, yet you've obviously come through it.
I certainly hope you and your sister can get some satisfaction from what you find in those boxes. If nothing else, it should help put some closure to the entire ordeal, and maybe it will bring you and your sister closer together. Who knows?
If this is your last posting before Christmas, and even if it isn't, I wish you the very best this Christmas season, and maybe you and your sister can enjoy it together. I'll be thinking about you. - Jim
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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I can't imagine being in a situation like that after vacating the McDonald's. Nowhere to live, no family to call, no friends around except for one unlikely possibility whose phone number you aren't even sure of. You can't go to the authorities because you know this will result in your being sent back to your grandmother. God, what a mess. This has to be a fairly low point in your life, yet you've obviously come through it.
I certainly hope you and your sister can get some satisfaction from what you find in those boxes. If nothing else, it should help put some closure to the entire ordeal, and maybe it will bring you and your sister closer together. Who knows?
If this is your last posting before Christmas, and even if it isn't, I wish you the very best this Christmas season, and maybe you and your sister can enjoy it together. I'll be thinking about you. - Jim
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Hi Jim thank you so much I'm sorry I got back so late I suffered third degree burns and it's been in a lot of pain I want to thank you for your kind review I'm always so happy to see you here I hope your Christmas was great and I hope your New year's is even better and that your day is wonderful thanks again!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
No, you were never going back there and no wonder you're completely drained at this stage. I could really imagine that employee's voice echoing through your consciousness, forcing you out of that blissful nothingness, back to reality. Thank Goodness, that your brain is always working overtime. It's had to do that and is your friend when no-one else is. Let's hope you've got the number right this time. Small edit: Despair wel(le)d up... As ever, excellently done, hooking your reader in to want to learn more. Well done, Lea! Love Debbie x
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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No, you were never going back there and no wonder you're completely drained at this stage. I could really imagine that employee's voice echoing through your consciousness, forcing you out of that blissful nothingness, back to reality. Thank Goodness, that your brain is always working overtime. It's had to do that and is your friend when no-one else is. Let's hope you've got the number right this time. Small edit: Despair wel(le)d up... As ever, excellently done, hooking your reader in to want to learn more. Well done, Lea! Love Debbie x
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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You're very right it was like a fog from a fire when that worker woke me up they are very smart lady! Again I apologize for my late reply that burns really hurt and stopped me from writing. I hope your Christmas was awesome and that your new year is even better and your day is grand thank you again!
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Lea,
this is another wonderful chapter- not wonderful in what happened to you but wonderful in the way you told it. One error, I think the word you want is welled- not weld. Other than that I didn't see any mistakes. I honestly don't know how you could go on. The continual feeling of despair as you were thrust out into the world at such a young age without a support group to help you along. I venture to say that most folks would have given up long ago. I'm glad you hung in there and are able to relate your story for the world to see now gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
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reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Hello Lea,
this is another wonderful chapter- not wonderful in what happened to you but wonderful in the way you told it. One error, I think the word you want is welled- not weld. Other than that I didn't see any mistakes. I honestly don't know how you could go on. The continual feeling of despair as you were thrust out into the world at such a young age without a support group to help you along. I venture to say that most folks would have given up long ago. I'm glad you hung in there and are able to relate your story for the world to see now gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Thank you Tom so much for your review I'm very happy to receive it I apologize for my late reply I had an awful accident and suffered third degree burns. I hope you had a good Christmas and that your new year would be awesome too and your day is grand!