Spectre
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Another Realm"This is book two of a trilogy book 1 "Ghost"
12 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
Congratulations on winning second place for The Book of the Month. It's well deserved.
Based on my own physical challenges during the holidays, I haven't been able to do as many reviews as I had been doing. In fact, I went from Review Rank #20 to Rank 31. I've therefore missed some chapters of your book. I'm sorry to hear about your burn, and hope you recover quickly.
I enjoyed reading this chapter, because someone is providing you a measure of support. Plus, your writing has noticeably improved. I pray for your continued success with your book.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Congratulations on winning second place for The Book of the Month. It's well deserved.
Based on my own physical challenges during the holidays, I haven't been able to do as many reviews as I had been doing. In fact, I went from Review Rank #20 to Rank 31. I've therefore missed some chapters of your book. I'm sorry to hear about your burn, and hope you recover quickly.
I enjoyed reading this chapter, because someone is providing you a measure of support. Plus, your writing has noticeably improved. I pray for your continued success with your book.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Thank you so much I'm you like it thank you for your kind comments too wonderful! It was great on her to win second place I thank you for noticing that as well I hope you have the best evening and life's treating you great thank you!
Comment from EILEEN LAW
Good writing interesting characters. Nice to hear that you had some support in your life. It's a great way to start everything way to go. Keep going and I wish you the best of luck
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Good writing interesting characters. Nice to hear that you had some support in your life. It's a great way to start everything way to go. Keep going and I wish you the best of luck
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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For this in my message to you thank you again for this fine review and great writing I'm truly honored and humble thank you!
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Lea,
Oh my. I'm so sorry to hear that you burned your foot. I'm sure I don't have to tell you, but there is no pain like that of a burn. I hope the pain relinquishes soon.
I'm glad to hear that you finally are catching a break. Of course, as all things, I'm sure this is a temporary reprieve at best. While it's nice to have a place to crash for a day or two, you need a permanent residence where you aren't getting used and abused. I hope to read that things start getting better. How is the search for your mountain home?
Thanks for sharing this gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Hello Lea,
Oh my. I'm so sorry to hear that you burned your foot. I'm sure I don't have to tell you, but there is no pain like that of a burn. I hope the pain relinquishes soon.
I'm glad to hear that you finally are catching a break. Of course, as all things, I'm sure this is a temporary reprieve at best. While it's nice to have a place to crash for a day or two, you need a permanent residence where you aren't getting used and abused. I hope to read that things start getting better. How is the search for your mountain home?
Thanks for sharing this gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 28-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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I believe I have found a home in the mountains at the warmest Lake in the province it's called Christina Lake in the summer is 22° c water has great smallmouth and wide mouth bass fishing as well as Kokanee and some brown trout as well. It will be a great place to write and spend peaceful time with my dog away from the mayhem of the city and away from those who do me harm thank you for asking thank you for your kind and insightful review is always and have yourself a wonderful day and New years too!
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Hello Lea,
that sounds delightful. I love fishing. Let me know if you get the home and when the fishing starts getting good I'd love a fishing report. I assume there are some spots that you can fish from the bank where you could catch some of those bass.
Comment from Gerard F Keogh
I started to feel where the poem was going but it went there withoiut flinching and that is to your credit. A grim reminder of probably continues enen on the most celebrated of holidays/holy days. The chapter was difficult to absorb. It certainly has impact but it may require a second reading for some to sort out the particulars. Thanks GK
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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I started to feel where the poem was going but it went there withoiut flinching and that is to your credit. A grim reminder of probably continues enen on the most celebrated of holidays/holy days. The chapter was difficult to absorb. It certainly has impact but it may require a second reading for some to sort out the particulars. Thanks GK
Comment Written 27-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Thank you Gerard for your kind comments and your wonderful insight I appreciate that so very much my apologies for not returning your review comments sooner as I've had awful accident and suffered third degree burns I hope that you are well and your Christmas was great and I hope your new year will be even better have a great day thank you again!
Comment from Douglas Goff
Oh my my my but you did a number on yourself. Hope it heals quickly. Was aware of the silver thing as some people take silver pills. Interesting.
You are a talented writer. I've tried to read some of the book you put out to review it but it was giving me flashbacks about my stepdad. I have taken a hiatus from writing a book about him until after the holidays and I can calm my mind from the trauma brought back by his passing this year.
Keep up the great work! Sorry about your foot but this too shall pass.
Douglas
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Oh my my my but you did a number on yourself. Hope it heals quickly. Was aware of the silver thing as some people take silver pills. Interesting.
You are a talented writer. I've tried to read some of the book you put out to review it but it was giving me flashbacks about my stepdad. I have taken a hiatus from writing a book about him until after the holidays and I can calm my mind from the trauma brought back by his passing this year.
Keep up the great work! Sorry about your foot but this too shall pass.
Douglas
Comment Written 27-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Thank you Douglas for your review I'm sorry it took so long to get back I have been in Major Payne the third degree burns or all I can't even imagine anyone having to put up with it it's painful. Thank you for your review and fine rating! Again my apologies for my late response I hope that your Christmas was great and that your new year will be amazing and your day is awesome too thanks again!
Comment from Jim Wile
Oh, goodness, Lea. So sorry about that accident with the turkey. What a way to ruin your day. I hope you were able to extract some joy from the day once you got bandaged up. What a rotten thing to happen.
The poem which preceded your chapter today was very sad and was in sharp contrast to the events of the chapter. Could you finally have found a place where you were safe for awhile? You certainly deserve to. It seems like Mrs. B. sized up your situation immediately and did everything to make you feel welcome. I hope this can last and that they don't end up disappointing you in the end. If anyone deserves a break, you do.
Here's a Dad joke to help you take your mind off your pain:
A guy goes to a psychiatrist muttering, "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam. What's the matter with me doc?
The psychiatrist says, "Ah, you're just two tense (tents)."
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
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Oh, goodness, Lea. So sorry about that accident with the turkey. What a way to ruin your day. I hope you were able to extract some joy from the day once you got bandaged up. What a rotten thing to happen.
The poem which preceded your chapter today was very sad and was in sharp contrast to the events of the chapter. Could you finally have found a place where you were safe for awhile? You certainly deserve to. It seems like Mrs. B. sized up your situation immediately and did everything to make you feel welcome. I hope this can last and that they don't end up disappointing you in the end. If anyone deserves a break, you do.
Here's a Dad joke to help you take your mind off your pain:
A guy goes to a psychiatrist muttering, "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam. What's the matter with me doc?
The psychiatrist says, "Ah, you're just two tense (tents)."
Comment Written 27-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
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Hahaha funny joke Dad LOL! Thank you again for reading and for offering your suggestion for edit and for always being there I hope your Christmas was great I hope you have an amazing New year and everything you want come see you in 2024! Thank you again
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Will pray for the healing of your foot. This is another very good write. Thank you for sharing it with us.
slipped by a dumpster behind a cold stone Wrapped in a robe she curled in a ball (spacing error??)
"My name is Mrs. B"
"P!" She yelled. ( "My name is Mrs. B. P!" she yelled.)
"You're friend is here! Bring a dry towel for her!" I took off my jacket and shoes then sat shivering. (move the dialogue next to 'yelled' then start the new paragraph with "I took off...)
Hi. You're looking a bit damp! (missing beginning quotation marks and the space for the new paragraph)
She looked at me, "you have a hot bath dear (me. "You)
Off you go." Mrs B said smiling at me. (go,")
"Eat up while it's hot young lady. (comma after 'hot')
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
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Will pray for the healing of your foot. This is another very good write. Thank you for sharing it with us.
slipped by a dumpster behind a cold stone Wrapped in a robe she curled in a ball (spacing error??)
"My name is Mrs. B"
"P!" She yelled. ( "My name is Mrs. B. P!" she yelled.)
"You're friend is here! Bring a dry towel for her!" I took off my jacket and shoes then sat shivering. (move the dialogue next to 'yelled' then start the new paragraph with "I took off...)
Hi. You're looking a bit damp! (missing beginning quotation marks and the space for the new paragraph)
She looked at me, "you have a hot bath dear (me. "You)
Off you go." Mrs B said smiling at me. (go,")
"Eat up while it's hot young lady. (comma after 'hot')
Comment Written 27-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
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Hi Barbara thank you so much for this review and for your edit suggestions I value them as you know! I hope you had the best Christmas and that your New year's will be even better I hope 2024 gives you everything you wish for how great day thank you again!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Oy. It FEELS like this should be good, and yet, there's also this horrible 'unsettled' feeling that's leeching onto me. Can't wait to see what's coming next and if my instincts here are correct.
Here's a few spags to adjust now. I'll get the rest later when I do the serious editing:
1.) You're friend is here! **Your** The one here is a contraction of the words "you" and "are.".
2.) Hi. You're looking a bit damp! **Quotation mark before Hi. Also, I don't think it needs a new paragraph after they introduce themselves.**
3.) Hey P, hows it goin'?" **Apostrophe between w and s of hows. Contraction of the words how and is**
4.) Leaning back I dunked my head **comma after BACK**
5.) I pursued the soap bar through the water eventually getting a good scrub in. **I'm not even sure what word you intended, my love, but 'pursued' is not it. You chased the soap bar? See what I mean?
6) "Soups on young lady." Mrs. B said. I drained the tub and dried my self off. **Two here: Soups need an apostrophe between p and s; it's a contraction for soup is. And this one's just a typo, but no space between my and self.
7. "Come with me young lady, time for bed." **Capitalize young lady. Mrs. B is using that like your name, so, like your name, it should always be capitalized. I think there's other times in here, as well, that it will need capitalizing.**
8. Then my eye lids drooped and I could not stay awake. Drooping over my bowl, I could feel Mrs. B's hands on my shoulder. **Drooping is used two times in as many sentences. Maybe 'slumping' or 'wilting' over my bowl?**
9. I was shivering with a fever coming off of me. **I think the fever isn't coming off of you as much as it's percolating within you.
10. Fluids are coming through the bandages soon. I will have to change the dressing soon. **Fluids WILL BE coming through the bandages soon, so I will have to change the dressing.**
Usually, when there are a lot of grammatical errors, I just can't make myself read a piece, but that has never been the case for me with your work, Lea. It's so impelling and well-formed and so artistically written that the spags don't deter me a bit. That's actually amazing. xo
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2023
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Oy. It FEELS like this should be good, and yet, there's also this horrible 'unsettled' feeling that's leeching onto me. Can't wait to see what's coming next and if my instincts here are correct.
Here's a few spags to adjust now. I'll get the rest later when I do the serious editing:
1.) You're friend is here! **Your** The one here is a contraction of the words "you" and "are.".
2.) Hi. You're looking a bit damp! **Quotation mark before Hi. Also, I don't think it needs a new paragraph after they introduce themselves.**
3.) Hey P, hows it goin'?" **Apostrophe between w and s of hows. Contraction of the words how and is**
4.) Leaning back I dunked my head **comma after BACK**
5.) I pursued the soap bar through the water eventually getting a good scrub in. **I'm not even sure what word you intended, my love, but 'pursued' is not it. You chased the soap bar? See what I mean?
6) "Soups on young lady." Mrs. B said. I drained the tub and dried my self off. **Two here: Soups need an apostrophe between p and s; it's a contraction for soup is. And this one's just a typo, but no space between my and self.
7. "Come with me young lady, time for bed." **Capitalize young lady. Mrs. B is using that like your name, so, like your name, it should always be capitalized. I think there's other times in here, as well, that it will need capitalizing.**
8. Then my eye lids drooped and I could not stay awake. Drooping over my bowl, I could feel Mrs. B's hands on my shoulder. **Drooping is used two times in as many sentences. Maybe 'slumping' or 'wilting' over my bowl?**
9. I was shivering with a fever coming off of me. **I think the fever isn't coming off of you as much as it's percolating within you.
10. Fluids are coming through the bandages soon. I will have to change the dressing soon. **Fluids WILL BE coming through the bandages soon, so I will have to change the dressing.**
Usually, when there are a lot of grammatical errors, I just can't make myself read a piece, but that has never been the case for me with your work, Lea. It's so impelling and well-formed and so artistically written that the spags don't deter me a bit. That's actually amazing. xo
Comment Written 27-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2023
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Thank you again my fine friend I think I got through most of the thank you so much for this too feel so much gratitude to have you helping me the way that you do no other has done so as you have done thank you my friend again!
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Honestly, it is my pleasure. xo
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
What an absolutely beautiful verse, Lea, and your introduction complemented the main story so well. I hope your foot is feeling a little better by now, such awful pain but I know you have good healing powers. Your story provides relief to your reader as well as yourself that, of your own accord and initiative, you've found some sanctuary, at least, to begin to feel cleansed and fortified. But you're not well and it sounds as if a fever is taking hold. There are some edits: (Your) friend is here; the clean water (beckoned) me; drained (myself) off (no break between 'my' and 'self' Once again, it's the detail that gives your story such impact: the fact that your positive impression of the family would then suggest that your friend could be trusted as a friend. Always wary, analytical even when in crisis mode. An excellent chapter, Lea. Love Debbie
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2023
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What an absolutely beautiful verse, Lea, and your introduction complemented the main story so well. I hope your foot is feeling a little better by now, such awful pain but I know you have good healing powers. Your story provides relief to your reader as well as yourself that, of your own accord and initiative, you've found some sanctuary, at least, to begin to feel cleansed and fortified. But you're not well and it sounds as if a fever is taking hold. There are some edits: (Your) friend is here; the clean water (beckoned) me; drained (myself) off (no break between 'my' and 'self' Once again, it's the detail that gives your story such impact: the fact that your positive impression of the family would then suggest that your friend could be trusted as a friend. Always wary, analytical even when in crisis mode. An excellent chapter, Lea. Love Debbie
Comment Written 27-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2023
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Hi Debbie I hope you're well thank you very much again for reading and writing and spending your time hanging out with me I hope you had a great Christmas and I hope your New year's is even better and I hope your day is the best I appreciate all your words and your suggestions for edit is always our precious to me all the best to you!
Comment from BethShelby
Good heavens, girl. Just when it seems everything is getting on tract for you and now the pain of a bad burn. Did you want all the pain you have coming over before the year ended so you start fresh with 2014. I hope 2014 will be the best tear ever for you. You have left us with you findly being treated kindly only to wake with chills and fever and then pass out. What is next?
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2023
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Good heavens, girl. Just when it seems everything is getting on tract for you and now the pain of a bad burn. Did you want all the pain you have coming over before the year ended so you start fresh with 2014. I hope 2014 will be the best tear ever for you. You have left us with you findly being treated kindly only to wake with chills and fever and then pass out. What is next?
Comment Written 27-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2023
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Thank you again I appreciate your empathy over my stupid turkey pan that bent in half and dropped on my foot boiling oil oh my Lord did I screech! Thank you again for reading and for commiserating with my pain LOL I hope you had a great Christmas I hope your New year's will be even better and may your day be full of everything you need thank you again!