What We See
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "What We See - Chapter 4"A wrongly accused teacher reinvents his life
20 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Having read the whole thing, I can say with full authority that man is a twit of the highest order. Later on we know he has a touch of conscience but not the needed requirement to be truly contrite. Karen
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Having read the whole thing, I can say with full authority that man is a twit of the highest order. Later on we know he has a touch of conscience but not the needed requirement to be truly contrite. Karen
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Yeah, he really comes to regret not backing David up. He's in a tough spot, but he really blew it this time.
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I don't know what happenend to all my reviews. :-(
Comment from Neonewman
This is progressing nicely, well maybe not for David. Earl was cordial about the issue, there's that. I like that he gave him the option to resign. This tells me that Earl not 100 percent that David did it.
My cat's a biter as well and an attention whore, lol.
Something I noticed while writing this review, everytime I try to write the word "for" I write "of" but immediately catch the error. Odd! One I've known about sometime is the word "Write." I generally put the T where the I is.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2024
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This is progressing nicely, well maybe not for David. Earl was cordial about the issue, there's that. I like that he gave him the option to resign. This tells me that Earl not 100 percent that David did it.
My cat's a biter as well and an attention whore, lol.
Something I noticed while writing this review, everytime I try to write the word "for" I write "of" but immediately catch the error. Odd! One I've known about sometime is the word "Write." I generally put the T where the I is.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 17-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2024
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Yeah, not so much for David; however, you can never tell what the future will bring. Setbacks like this don't have to doom a person's future. It's only if they choose to let it or instead attempt to bounce right back. We'll see how David handles it.
Some of your writing foibles are very interesting, Steve. At least you catch yourself with the errors.
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I love crafting these stories because the characters take on a life of their own and keep the author guessing, lol.
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Sounds like you are a pantser like me. I agree that it's fun to write a story that way. I used to be a computer programmer and systems analyst, and after I retired and started writing, I never thought I would be someone who writes that way without carefully plotting the story ahead of time like I had to do on my job.
But life isn't like that. You can't successfully plan out your whole life, although some people try, because too many things can happen to force a new direction. So I think being a pantser mirrors life more closely. It certainly gives you many more opportunities to branch off in a new direction if it strikes your fancy.
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Yes, you are correct. I am a pantser. I couldn't create a plot if I wanted to, lol. Stephen King said in "On Writing" that people may plot out their future, but life just doesn't work that way.
Comment from tfawcus
OK. That helps explain the last chapter! This one was much stronger both in relation to internal dialogue and the conversation with David's school principal. It sets the scene well for the impending change of direction.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2024
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OK. That helps explain the last chapter! This one was much stronger both in relation to internal dialogue and the conversation with David's school principal. It sets the scene well for the impending change of direction.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2024
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I still think you may be right in that some of the detail should be reserved until later, like the test-taking with Mr. Hafner. I will definitely think about it.
Thanks very much for your in-depth, analytical reviews, Tony. They mean much more to me than many reviews I get. I love getting other novelists' perspectives on how the story is coming across. I've found that others, who only write short stories or very short pieces, don't always appreciate the slower pace and timing of a novel because all their action takes place in such a short space of writing when everything has to happen. Novels are often a gradual unfolding of the story, and not all questions get answered in each chapter.
Thanks also for the 6 stars.
Comment from lancellot
Interesting. From the beginning, and I like the cat part, you showed the reader what kind of person David is, weak willed, and not a fighter. He gave in to the cat, he gave in to Tina (when he let her in), and now he gave in to the pressure and principal. Not a fighter.
Now, here's the issue. Why would readers care about David, like David or want to follow David?
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Interesting. From the beginning, and I like the cat part, you showed the reader what kind of person David is, weak willed, and not a fighter. He gave in to the cat, he gave in to Tina (when he let her in), and now he gave in to the pressure and principal. Not a fighter.
Now, here's the issue. Why would readers care about David, like David or want to follow David?
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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I appreciate this question, Lance, and it's a good one. Here's my answer:
In hopes that he'll gain a backbone and grow. I'm hoping people will realize he's a good guy and root for him to grow a pair. He certainly will need them by the end.
A character doesn't have to be perfect all the way through the story; otherwise, where's the story? E.J. certainly had his flaws, but he triumphed in the end.
In my first draft of Some Call It Luck, Abby was perfect throughout and was not a very interesting character for that reason. It took until draft #3 (the one I presented on FanStory) for her to start out shy and unsure of herself, to becoming a successful, confident entrepreneur by the end.
For what I am intending later in the story, I don't think it would have the same impact unless I can show some growth in David and that he has learned from past failures or weaknesses.
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. I think this turned out as expected. I am looking forward to David's next move. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2024
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This is another excellent chapter. I think this turned out as expected. I am looking forward to David's next move. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2024
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Thanks very much, Lee. He will have some major decisions to make in the near future.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Unfortunately that is probably true. Once the mud is flung it's hard to remove it. This is a difficult topic to write about, but you've done well with it Jim. A good read,
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
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Unfortunately that is probably true. Once the mud is flung it's hard to remove it. This is a difficult topic to write about, but you've done well with it Jim. A good read,
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 24-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
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Thanks so much, Valda. Unfortunate and unfair as that is, that's just the way it seems to be.
Comment from jmdg1954
Sorry for the late read and response, Jim. Had to put in extra hours at work because someone simply walked out in frustration.
This was a good chapter and I like that you added the "back book cover" synopsis.
David's in a tough spot, even by resigning this will follow him until the truth (whatever that may be) is revealed.
I think I have another chapter in my in box...
Stay warm,
John
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Sorry for the late read and response, Jim. Had to put in extra hours at work because someone simply walked out in frustration.
This was a good chapter and I like that you added the "back book cover" synopsis.
David's in a tough spot, even by resigning this will follow him until the truth (whatever that may be) is revealed.
I think I have another chapter in my in box...
Stay warm,
John
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Yeah, I felt the blurb was necessary because I had a number of reviews that questioned the sexual abuse scandal, which is not my main focus in the story, and I just wanted to explain where it would be going. Glad you're enjoying the story, John.
Comment from papa55mike
It's sad that today teachers live in a guilty first society where one accusation can lead to the loss of a career. What a wonderfully written chapter. Best of luck with your project!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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It's sad that today teachers live in a guilty first society where one accusation can lead to the loss of a career. What a wonderfully written chapter. Best of luck with your project!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 22-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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Thanks so much, Mike. When it comes to sexual assault, the woman is almost always believed at first. She's always given the benefit of the doubt, and unless she later retracts it, the man is toast.
Comment from Carol Clark2
The phone call with Earl Pinkham is very believable. David's in a tough spot and, as you say, it's nearly impossible to prove a negative. It will be interesting to learn how Tina's neck was bruised and why she made up this story. Carol
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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The phone call with Earl Pinkham is very believable. David's in a tough spot and, as you say, it's nearly impossible to prove a negative. It will be interesting to learn how Tina's neck was bruised and why she made up this story. Carol
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Carol. Yes, I can guarantee you will find it interesting when we find out the true story about Tina! Have you detected any possible clues yet?
Comment from royowen
How terrible for David, there's something absolutely awful about a situation, like I said before there was a terrible lack of young male teachers because of this risk, the pendulum has swung against males Jim, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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How terrible for David, there's something absolutely awful about a situation, like I said before there was a terrible lack of young male teachers because of this risk, the pendulum has swung against males Jim, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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It's tough, especially in this day and age. Not sure if you heard about a case in the US a few years back about 3 lacrosse players at Duke University who were accused of the rape of a stripper at a fraternity party. It made national news, and everyone seemed to prejudge their guilt. For a long time they were continually harassed for it, and when the truth eventually revealed that the girl lied about everything, they finally were able to get their lives back in order, but it was very tough for them for a while.
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We?ve had similar accusations here.