Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Willing Hearts Chapter 3 A"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
35 total reviews
Comment from knowledge
So, now we are going to start a romance. The detective is a nice guy and now he is thinking of her bravery and how she cares for the girls that are missing.
She is also letting him touch her, even kissing her! Hmmmmmm. Maybe he might get his unit to hire her!
Here I am laughing at a serious Story. Knowledge
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
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So, now we are going to start a romance. The detective is a nice guy and now he is thinking of her bravery and how she cares for the girls that are missing.
She is also letting him touch her, even kissing her! Hmmmmmm. Maybe he might get his unit to hire her!
Here I am laughing at a serious Story. Knowledge
Comment Written 08-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
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I do attempt to add a little humor to my stories. Thank you for reading. I really appreciate it.
Comment from LoniLove
I'm totally enjoying this story. It keeps me engaged. I have to learn to keep my chapters as short as you. I Don't have a critique. I like it just the way it is.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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I'm totally enjoying this story. It keeps me engaged. I have to learn to keep my chapters as short as you. I Don't have a critique. I like it just the way it is.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Thank you for going back and reading one of the early posts. I appreciate it. HUGS!!!
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I want to read the whole story. You?re welcome. Love it.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is all too true and usually it's only one or two people that are doing the work searching and they are civilians not law officers. I'm very aware of the situation on the Native American missing and murdered website. Hopefully, this isn't a foreshadowing: "I promise nothing's going to happen. You trust me, don't you?" a fun play on words: "My hands are going to caress your back and butt."
"But..." This made me nervous...good job: "Sami hobbled up the two flights of stairs to her apartment. After a few minutes inside, a knock sounded. She petted Jasper. "Who could that be?"
At the door she asked, "Who is it?"
I definitely will be back for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2024
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This is all too true and usually it's only one or two people that are doing the work searching and they are civilians not law officers. I'm very aware of the situation on the Native American missing and murdered website. Hopefully, this isn't a foreshadowing: "I promise nothing's going to happen. You trust me, don't you?" a fun play on words: "My hands are going to caress your back and butt."
"But..." This made me nervous...good job: "Sami hobbled up the two flights of stairs to her apartment. After a few minutes inside, a knock sounded. She petted Jasper. "Who could that be?"
At the door she asked, "Who is it?"
I definitely will be back for the next chapter.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2024
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Thank you for going back and reading this when no monies attached.
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Money or no money I definitely will be back for the next chapter. I go to the icon section that makes big money so then I can come back and read anybody's $0.02 ones I don't care.
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You're sweet!!!
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Thank you It's fun.
Comment from Navada
I do have to admire Sami's good intentions, but this chapter is showing us that it's dangerous work. I picked up a couple of little spag issues to edit - One of the john's took Sami's arm (no apostrophe) and "I don't expect you too," (to). Hopefully that pimp will get his comeuppance!
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024
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I do have to admire Sami's good intentions, but this chapter is showing us that it's dangerous work. I picked up a couple of little spag issues to edit - One of the john's took Sami's arm (no apostrophe) and "I don't expect you too," (to). Hopefully that pimp will get his comeuppance!
Comment Written 11-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the kind review and the help. I've made the corrections.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi Barbara! Posting two books at a time, how industrious of you! This is a different style for you, for sure, but you're doing a great job with it. I actually read it a few days ago, but got interrupted before I could review it. I'm probably behind on Seth and Emma, too. I'll check it out.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024
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Hi Barbara! Posting two books at a time, how industrious of you! This is a different style for you, for sure, but you're doing a great job with it. I actually read it a few days ago, but got interrupted before I could review it. I'm probably behind on Seth and Emma, too. I'll check it out.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 11-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the kind review. It a few weeks it will turn into one of my regular romances. LOL
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I enjoy all your work!
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Thank you
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi Barbara, I'm enjoying how you bring these characters along. I think I might know where things are going, but since I'm not the one writing it, I definitely do not know.
Waiting to see the next part hit my Inbox,
~MP~
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024
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Hi Barbara, I'm enjoying how you bring these characters along. I think I might know where things are going, but since I'm not the one writing it, I definitely do not know.
Waiting to see the next part hit my Inbox,
~MP~
Comment Written 10-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the kind review. If you read my work through the years you probably have a good idea.
Comment from John Ciarmello
I'm into this saga, Barbara!
It's full of suspense and intrigue. Sami's a brave girl, but she is powered by emotion and an ongoing adrenaline rush.
Great chapter! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
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I'm into this saga, Barbara!
It's full of suspense and intrigue. Sami's a brave girl, but she is powered by emotion and an ongoing adrenaline rush.
Great chapter! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 10-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
Your writing is solid as is your editing. I encourage you to continue progressing. I see you've switched this to fantasy. It's not. I'm sure you did some research, but this reads like, I mean no offense, like a Christian writer's idea of the subject and that world.
notes:
Molly threw her hands in the air. "I'm done. I can't talk any sense into you." She slammed the door as she left.
-Yes, you're shining a light on absurdness, but that doesn't explain Sami's craziness or stupidity. We never saw a relationship between her and Myra to justify this level obtuseness.
"If her sister described her outfit accurately, she'll get hurt."
- I think you're too focused on clothing. A pimp or john wouldn't care about clothes, and neither would a prostitute.
"So far, the girls have accepted her."
-What??? That fast.
Noah walked up to the working girls and took Sami's arm, moving his head toward the right. "Come with me."
-Wait. What happened to the john who took her arm?
Sarah joined in, "I agree with Jose. She got the message."
- This is another common thing. Everyone coming to your female Protagonist's recue. You may want to change up.
"We'll leave together. I'll make sure the girls watch me give you money.
-NO! A prostitute would get the money first before sex, and never show the cash publicly.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
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Your writing is solid as is your editing. I encourage you to continue progressing. I see you've switched this to fantasy. It's not. I'm sure you did some research, but this reads like, I mean no offense, like a Christian writer's idea of the subject and that world.
notes:
Molly threw her hands in the air. "I'm done. I can't talk any sense into you." She slammed the door as she left.
-Yes, you're shining a light on absurdness, but that doesn't explain Sami's craziness or stupidity. We never saw a relationship between her and Myra to justify this level obtuseness.
"If her sister described her outfit accurately, she'll get hurt."
- I think you're too focused on clothing. A pimp or john wouldn't care about clothes, and neither would a prostitute.
"So far, the girls have accepted her."
-What??? That fast.
Noah walked up to the working girls and took Sami's arm, moving his head toward the right. "Come with me."
-Wait. What happened to the john who took her arm?
Sarah joined in, "I agree with Jose. She got the message."
- This is another common thing. Everyone coming to your female Protagonist's recue. You may want to change up.
"We'll leave together. I'll make sure the girls watch me give you money.
-NO! A prostitute would get the money first before sex, and never show the cash publicly.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lyenochka
Well, this isn't the kind of topic or even TV show I would watch so it's a bit of a chore. But I also recognize the kind of romance you are building up between Noah and Sami. (I'm not a romance fan either but yours is sweet and Christian!)
Frankly, I'm siding with Molly. But someone as headstrong as Sami would be hard to convince that perhaps the police might have their own women on the force that can do that kind of information gathering. But you needed a premise for them to meet...
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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Well, this isn't the kind of topic or even TV show I would watch so it's a bit of a chore. But I also recognize the kind of romance you are building up between Noah and Sami. (I'm not a romance fan either but yours is sweet and Christian!)
Frankly, I'm siding with Molly. But someone as headstrong as Sami would be hard to convince that perhaps the police might have their own women on the force that can do that kind of information gathering. But you needed a premise for them to meet...
Comment Written 09-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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To be honest I would side with Molly too. LOL This part is almost over and will become a back story as I build Noah's and Sami's relationship and will be a sweet Christian relationship. But Sami will continue to be headstrong. LOL Thank you for the kind review
Comment from Teri7
Barbara, This is a very exciting and well written chapter. I do hope they find those girls that are missing. I think you should put it under what you feel it is. If it is romance then put it under that. It's not fantasy. These things happen in real life and romance does too. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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Barbara, This is a very exciting and well written chapter. I do hope they find those girls that are missing. I think you should put it under what you feel it is. If it is romance then put it under that. It's not fantasy. These things happen in real life and romance does too. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 09-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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Yes, it is romance. I can promise a happy ending. Thank you for the kind review.
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I look forward to that my friend! Remember there are always people that want to make us feel down, but we have the Lord, Jesus Christ who is God. God always wins! Just keep on writing and I will keep on reading my friend! love and blessings, Teri