True Blue Crush
the beginning of a love story5 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
AHHH, this is a wonderful romance contest entry. I really enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing it with us. Good luck with the contest.
about his age, sat down beside him. (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
They stepped off the bus as Sally responded. "I'd like. (responded,)
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2024
  |
AHHH, this is a wonderful romance contest entry. I really enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing it with us. Good luck with the contest.
about his age, sat down beside him. (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
They stepped off the bus as Sally responded. "I'd like. (responded,)
Comment Written 14-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2024
-
Thanks for the review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
What a really imaginative and enjoyable romance, Mintybee! I never thought this pair would get it together in the beginning and I was cringing at Sally's persistence in talking to him when he was clearly not interested. But you cleverly made this all very credible by the time they arrived at the fair and they realised they had similar back stories. From awkwardness (which is so often a factor when people first become acquainted) to an endearing sense of purpose and friendship - makes this a very refreshing tale of the beginning of a lovely romance. Well done and good luck! I think your professor would be pleased. Debbie
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
|
What a really imaginative and enjoyable romance, Mintybee! I never thought this pair would get it together in the beginning and I was cringing at Sally's persistence in talking to him when he was clearly not interested. But you cleverly made this all very credible by the time they arrived at the fair and they realised they had similar back stories. From awkwardness (which is so often a factor when people first become acquainted) to an endearing sense of purpose and friendship - makes this a very refreshing tale of the beginning of a lovely romance. Well done and good luck! I think your professor would be pleased. Debbie
Comment Written 12-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
-
Thanks so much for your kind review! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from eliz100
This is an excellent entry for the Romance Writing contest. It was interesting from the beginning to the end. I do not see any need for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
|
This is an excellent entry for the Romance Writing contest. It was interesting from the beginning to the end. I do not see any need for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
-
Thanks for the review!
Comment from Baltimore Born
This is a well-written story. At first, I thought Sally was too pushy. As the story progressed, I could see the romance building between the two of them. The paragraph that begins with "Oh, okay. See" You wrote "trying to protect himself because a his room." Otherwise, a very good story.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
|
This is a well-written story. At first, I thought Sally was too pushy. As the story progressed, I could see the romance building between the two of them. The paragraph that begins with "Oh, okay. See" You wrote "trying to protect himself because a his room." Otherwise, a very good story.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
-
Thanks for catching that. It's fixed now. :)
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is excellent work for the challenge. Your presentation is very good. You use expressive words, colorful imagery, and authentic dialogue, that will draw in readers. It is thought provoking also. I enjoyed reviewing this, and I especially liked the romantic ending.
Best wishes,
Alex
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
|
This is excellent work for the challenge. Your presentation is very good. You use expressive words, colorful imagery, and authentic dialogue, that will draw in readers. It is thought provoking also. I enjoyed reviewing this, and I especially liked the romantic ending.
Best wishes,
Alex
Comment Written 12-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
-
Thanks for the kind review!
