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Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "One Break"2nd Place Finish
9 total reviews
Comment from Soledadpaz
Funny, but sad, the wry humor in the exchange about black eyes.
Perhaps: . . . a big deal, and that there was (probably) more.
Perhaps: (When) Kelly reached for the back door, he shook his head. "Up front."
Well, this certainly took a turn. Morgan is looking for redemption maybe? But regardless, he certainly spent quite some time arranging all this for her. And since he took that money, or says he did, he found a good thing to spend it on, Kelly's future. Just one thought: perhaps he winces a little when she plants a kiss on his busted lip.
Well done!
Sol
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
Funny, but sad, the wry humor in the exchange about black eyes.
Perhaps: . . . a big deal, and that there was (probably) more.
Perhaps: (When) Kelly reached for the back door, he shook his head. "Up front."
Well, this certainly took a turn. Morgan is looking for redemption maybe? But regardless, he certainly spent quite some time arranging all this for her. And since he took that money, or says he did, he found a good thing to spend it on, Kelly's future. Just one thought: perhaps he winces a little when she plants a kiss on his busted lip.
Well done!
Sol
Comment Written 16-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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Thanks, Sol! I love the wincing suggestion. Your nursing is coming in handy, my friend. I will be playing catch up tonight!
D
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Oh wow, he's really turning over a new leaf! This is great news. But why do I think Paco will still be coming after her? And Morgan must really be earning some! There's a small edit: You(')re a college student.. Going well, Doug! Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
Oh wow, he's really turning over a new leaf! This is great news. But why do I think Paco will still be coming after her? And Morgan must really be earning some! There's a small edit: You(')re a college student.. Going well, Doug! Take care Debbie
Comment Written 12-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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Thank you, Debbie! I really appreciate you hanging in, my friend!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Wow, Douglas, what a wonderful story. It's very engaging and flows nicely. I like the plot and well developed characters.
I'm sorry I don't follow your longer stories, it takes me a long time to read unless is about this length. The doctor says it's part of being bipolar.
Well done
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
Wow, Douglas, what a wonderful story. It's very engaging and flows nicely. I like the plot and well developed characters.
I'm sorry I don't follow your longer stories, it takes me a long time to read unless is about this length. The doctor says it's part of being bipolar.
Well done
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 12-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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No worries, my friend. Your kindness means more than any rating, and I appreciate when you do jump in with your keen eye. To get a six m somebody whose writing I respect so much means a lot!
Douglas
Comment from Terry Broxson
Well, Morgan has some socially redeeming qualities, after all. I don't know if they will last or if Kelly will stick to the plan, but it's a start. Now, if he just cleans up the rest of his life. Good Chapter. Terry.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
Well, Morgan has some socially redeeming qualities, after all. I don't know if they will last or if Kelly will stick to the plan, but it's a start. Now, if he just cleans up the rest of his life. Good Chapter. Terry.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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Thanks! Morgan is a good guy. He just does bad things. Ha!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
So that's what he did with the money he stole from the evidence locker, right? But now he's still in trouble. I do want him with Tamra. How's he going to get out of trouble, or will he? I do like this story.
Your a college student aren't you?" (You're a college student, aren't you?")
"Geez, thanks dad." (thank, Dad.")
I wont be needing that junk anymore. (won't)
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
So that's what he did with the money he stole from the evidence locker, right? But now he's still in trouble. I do want him with Tamra. How's he going to get out of trouble, or will he? I do like this story.
Your a college student aren't you?" (You're a college student, aren't you?")
"Geez, thanks dad." (thank, Dad.")
I wont be needing that junk anymore. (won't)
Comment Written 12-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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He got $500,000 from Debra's life insurance, He never needed that money. I don't think Morgan has hit rock bottom yet. Thank you for the awesome edits!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
She needs a minder. She does not know how to be normal. She will most likely back slide without a companion to talk to and be with. She has never been alone. She has never had a bank account, or credit card. Only in fantasies would this work. I applaud the theory though. Good boy Douglas. :-) Karen
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
She needs a minder. She does not know how to be normal. She will most likely back slide without a companion to talk to and be with. She has never been alone. She has never had a bank account, or credit card. Only in fantasies would this work. I applaud the theory though. Good boy Douglas. :-) Karen
Comment Written 12-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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Wait?it worked in Pretty Woman. Ha! Seriously, in my line of work, I have known a few girls that have beaten the system and got off the streets. Always with the help of a benefactor. And usually that person wanted unlimited private access to her. In my story she has Morgan to try and keep her straight. But we shall see.
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Who is going to keep him straight? :-)
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Tune in tomorrow for answers to these questions and many many more?
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will do
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well, well, well. Where did Morgan find the time to do all the leg work required for that set up. It would take full time for a week, or two.
Nicely written. Good work.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
Well, well, well. Where did Morgan find the time to do all the leg work required for that set up. It would take full time for a week, or two.
Nicely written. Good work.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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He has had since chapter four when she bared her soul. Besides, it?s obvious he does anything but work when he is at work. Ha! Thanks, Wayne.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I don't judge how well a story is written, but the content of this one made me smile. Could this have been a life adventured you lived back in the day? I rarely give a six except for exceptional posting, and this one is for me.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
I don't judge how well a story is written, but the content of this one made me smile. Could this have been a life adventured you lived back in the day? I rarely give a six except for exceptional posting, and this one is for me.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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That is quite a swell thing to say, Tom. Your six means a lot because you have a discerning eye.
When I tell true stories about my career people just shake their heads in disbelief. But, I never kiss and tell. Ha!
I appreciate you, friend!
Comment from Julie Helms
This was so sweet! It's like Pretty Woman, but a little more realistic. I like how you tied in that he was doing this for his wife. Maybe this can settle some of his demons that are driving him.
I didn't see anything needing to be corrected, but you may have sucked me too hard to the story and distracted me. Good change of pace and very well written! Julie.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
This was so sweet! It's like Pretty Woman, but a little more realistic. I like how you tied in that he was doing this for his wife. Maybe this can settle some of his demons that are driving him.
I didn't see anything needing to be corrected, but you may have sucked me too hard to the story and distracted me. Good change of pace and very well written! Julie.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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Thank you, Julie. This has been an error fest, but several of you have kept me straight! I really appreciate it!