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Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Harpers Don't Run"2nd Place Finish
8 total reviews
Comment from Soledadpaz
Typo: (lying) face down
The line: "He was about to learn that he could" sort of takes you out of the story. It changes the voice. Perhaps he continues the thought by asking himself: Or can I?
Suggest: (about) $200.
Oh, Beth! We hardly knew ye!
Maybe: DNA links to a third dead hooker won't . . .
Suggest delete "when" and break into two sentences. . . . Charger(.) A new thought . . .
Or, add had: Morgan (had) hopped . . . when . . .
Maybe: . . . and grabbed a blanket from the trunk.
Morgan definitely has a heart, sodden though it might be. Though I'm wondering along with him, did he kill her?
Maybe: Morgan sped off, heading . . .
Suggest delete 'and'
Twenty minutes north, red and blue lights . . .
Great line! "The waitress eyed him like he was a T-Bone."
Another awesome chapter. Sad about Beth.
Sol
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Typo: (lying) face down
The line: "He was about to learn that he could" sort of takes you out of the story. It changes the voice. Perhaps he continues the thought by asking himself: Or can I?
Suggest: (about) $200.
Oh, Beth! We hardly knew ye!
Maybe: DNA links to a third dead hooker won't . . .
Suggest delete "when" and break into two sentences. . . . Charger(.) A new thought . . .
Or, add had: Morgan (had) hopped . . . when . . .
Maybe: . . . and grabbed a blanket from the trunk.
Morgan definitely has a heart, sodden though it might be. Though I'm wondering along with him, did he kill her?
Maybe: Morgan sped off, heading . . .
Suggest delete 'and'
Twenty minutes north, red and blue lights . . .
Great line! "The waitress eyed him like he was a T-Bone."
Another awesome chapter. Sad about Beth.
Sol
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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I was worried about the foreshadowing line. I think your suggestion gave it a neat dynamic. Thank you!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Beth
I read the chapters in the wrong order. Okay this one fills in some of the questions.
Morgan is going down the rabbit hole. Spinning out of control and feeling guilty for his wife's death. Poor thing. I know what it's like.
Well done
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024
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Beth
I read the chapters in the wrong order. Okay this one fills in some of the questions.
Morgan is going down the rabbit hole. Spinning out of control and feeling guilty for his wife's death. Poor thing. I know what it's like.
Well done
Comment Written 18-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024
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Morgan is certainly on a downward spiral. Thank you for the great review, my friend.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I think it's Tamra, Doug. She's setting him up because she blames him for her twin sister's suicide. She's in the perfect job to know all about fixing the forensic evidence (because she's got all Morgan's DNA after sleeping with him). And she's determined to turn this into a long, tortuous and self destructive, downward spiral for him, just as his psychiatrist predicted.
This chapter is excellently written with yet another of his prostitutes horribly killed and degraded and the finger of suspicion about to be pointed at him. I noted a couple of small edits: the panic having subsid(ed; Rot i(n) some jail cell. Well done, Doug. This is heating up even more. Debbie
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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I think it's Tamra, Doug. She's setting him up because she blames him for her twin sister's suicide. She's in the perfect job to know all about fixing the forensic evidence (because she's got all Morgan's DNA after sleeping with him). And she's determined to turn this into a long, tortuous and self destructive, downward spiral for him, just as his psychiatrist predicted.
This chapter is excellently written with yet another of his prostitutes horribly killed and degraded and the finger of suspicion about to be pointed at him. I noted a couple of small edits: the panic having subsid(ed; Rot i(n) some jail cell. Well done, Doug. This is heating up even more. Debbie
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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Interesting theory! We shall see if you stick with it after further clues and character development coming up in the next chapters. We are moving along!
Thanks for the always awesome and appreciated edits!
D
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Oh I'm wrong then:(( How you do it all I don't know!
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I didn?t say that.m you were wrong or right. No clues outside the book! Ha!!!
I stand by my statement that if anyone figures this out, it?s you.
There are subtle and blatant clues plus more to come. That is the hardest part. Mulling over stuff to see if I am revealing too much. So far, so good! I will lay out the clues at the end of the book as I am keeping a list as I drop them.
I am enjoying this write!
D
Comment from Terry Broxson
Douglas, this is a good chapter that offers some good insight into Morgan. We need some reasons to like the guy. At least we know he was a good cop once upon a time. Terry.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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Douglas, this is a good chapter that offers some good insight into Morgan. We need some reasons to like the guy. At least we know he was a good cop once upon a time. Terry.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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Yes, Sir!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Just when we were coming up for air! Zing! the knife went in again, and the killer is someone attached to him. He is obviously the target and the women are shrapnel.Keep it coming genius. Karen :-)
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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Just when we were coming up for air! Zing! the knife went in again, and the killer is someone attached to him. He is obviously the target and the women are shrapnel.Keep it coming genius. Karen :-)
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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There is a fine line between genius and heinous, Ha! I love the shrapnel description. Did you catch that Morgan didn't sleep with waitress Bonnie because all the trouble his wanker got him in? What about the women who died for sleeping with him. I have created a self-centered . . . . mess! Awesome sixer!
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Keep the hits coming, oh, I mean keep writing. :-)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am happy Morgan decided, 'Harpers don't run'. I know he didn't kill those women and I am pretty sure Anderson has something to do with is. Wait the aggressive reporter, Mac Yung, maybe. Hmmm, I need to think about this.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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I am happy Morgan decided, 'Harpers don't run'. I know he didn't kill those women and I am pretty sure Anderson has something to do with is. Wait the aggressive reporter, Mac Yung, maybe. Hmmm, I need to think about this.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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More clues coming!!!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice writing.
So, the idea of running brought images of his father, which awakened his sense of self-defense. Maybe all it took was one huiman being expressing confidence in him (Marston). Maybe that was the bottom and that the situation could not be more bleak. We'll see.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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Nice writing.
So, the idea of running brought images of his father, which awakened his sense of self-defense. Maybe all it took was one huiman being expressing confidence in him (Marston). Maybe that was the bottom and that the situation could not be more bleak. We'll see.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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Yeah ? no. Rock bottom is next chapter. Tee he hee . Poor Morgan.
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You're killin' him!
Comment from Julie Helms
It looks like Morgan is being framed. So he needs to get his shit together because he is in no condition to overcome the determined cleverness of the person framing him. Turning around to face his problems is a good start.
Good job fleshing out that issue!
I know pops (Pops....it's being used as a name. Also, one other place)
12 ounce T-bone steak (12-ounce)
because Harper's don't run. (Harpers, it's plural not possessive)
Julie
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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It looks like Morgan is being framed. So he needs to get his shit together because he is in no condition to overcome the determined cleverness of the person framing him. Turning around to face his problems is a good start.
Good job fleshing out that issue!
I know pops (Pops....it's being used as a name. Also, one other place)
12 ounce T-bone steak (12-ounce)
because Harper's don't run. (Harpers, it's plural not possessive)
Julie
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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Great edits. You have such a lovely helpful brain. Did Morgan hit rock bottom? We shall see !
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Oh my gosh, he's going down farther!! Poor guy. You have a devious imagination! Way to go :-)
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Let?s just say that I am very excited about tomorrow?s chapter. I am so excited to write it that I am staying up until midnight to get started. It may be my favorite chapter yet. I am sticking with the original contest concept of a chapter a day just to challenge myself. Hopefully it matches what I have in my head. We shall see!
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Yay!! Can't wait!