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Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Doctor's Orders"2nd Place Finish
10 total reviews
Comment from Soledadpaz
Typo: Detective (Harper)
Seems the good doctor has let her maternal feelings get in the way of her clinical judgment. I would think the first thing Morgan needs is a good lawyer. That, and drying out for sure. In all respects!
Great dialogue as always.
Sol
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Typo: Detective (Harper)
Seems the good doctor has let her maternal feelings get in the way of her clinical judgment. I would think the first thing Morgan needs is a good lawyer. That, and drying out for sure. In all respects!
Great dialogue as always.
Sol
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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You are the only one that caught that!
Thank you, Sol.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
More muddy waters. He is completely unfocused but he can get himself to the doctor. And cleaned up. That m makes little sense to me. He was spiraling. Maybe he could have called her, but going across down, I don't see it. Karen
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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More muddy waters. He is completely unfocused but he can get himself to the doctor. And cleaned up. That m makes little sense to me. He was spiraling. Maybe he could have called her, but going across down, I don't see it. Karen
Comment Written 20-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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Yep, yep, yep. Had to add a paragraph to fix that foul ball. Good eye!
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I am voting for her being the crackpot, Karen
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Ha. She wins every open she is in. One lady wrote in the comments of last contest ?I love when I see &$&& is in a contest because I don?t have to read the other entries. I just vote for her.? It doesn?t matter. It?s all for fun. When someone like you tells me my pool/story/ poem is good or sucks is what I am after. Bless you!
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R U talking about Mrs birthday card by any chance?
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I thought you knew about Nicki Nance. Well, that's a coincidence if you didn't. What a contrast in tone here! Morgan almost sounds sober and normal after all those recent excesses. But I love the way the interview is conducted. Doctor Parker is so cool and seems to be enjoying the drama unfolding in Morgan's life (reminding me of The Sopranos). There's even humour (well, I thought so) when he asks 'Any suggestions?' and she replies 'Of course' (tongue in cheek?) then goes on to ask what he's planning on doing. Small edits: 'Recurring' sounds less awkward than 'Reoccurring.' 'You (said, yourself,) you may be in jail in a few days' (better switching those words round the other way).
But he can't go. We need him for the story. Don't we?
A great contrast in tone here to give your reader a little light relief. It's all been a bit heavy recently:) Well done, Doug. Still think it's Tamra.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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I thought you knew about Nicki Nance. Well, that's a coincidence if you didn't. What a contrast in tone here! Morgan almost sounds sober and normal after all those recent excesses. But I love the way the interview is conducted. Doctor Parker is so cool and seems to be enjoying the drama unfolding in Morgan's life (reminding me of The Sopranos). There's even humour (well, I thought so) when he asks 'Any suggestions?' and she replies 'Of course' (tongue in cheek?) then goes on to ask what he's planning on doing. Small edits: 'Recurring' sounds less awkward than 'Reoccurring.' 'You (said, yourself,) you may be in jail in a few days' (better switching those words round the other way).
But he can't go. We need him for the story. Don't we?
A great contrast in tone here to give your reader a little light relief. It's all been a bit heavy recently:) Well done, Doug. Still think it's Tamra.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Nope. I came up with the name of the character from a girl in my school. She was a cutie and became middle-school famous when she showed her boobs to the 8th grade boys. That is where I pulled the name from. But, I did switch it to Vicki Vance. It took forever.
Eeeesh!
And yes, those lines were meant to be subtlety funny.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Jennifer, Amy, Tam... Morgan gets around. He is definitely a sex addict and alcoholic. Sounds like a serial killer is trying to frame him. Going on vacation is going to make him look worse.
I hope he does go on vacation but I worry he might get in trouble... poor man....what a mess.
I like doctor Millison Parker
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Jennifer, Amy, Tam... Morgan gets around. He is definitely a sex addict and alcoholic. Sounds like a serial killer is trying to frame him. Going on vacation is going to make him look worse.
I hope he does go on vacation but I worry he might get in trouble... poor man....what a mess.
I like doctor Millison Parker
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Unless she?s the killer. Just sayin. Ha!
Not sure he can look any worse once they find poor Beth Mackie in the alley.
Thanks for hanging in, my friend!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I honestly hope Morgan listens to Doctor Parker and goes on this vacation and actually stays away from booze and sex for 30 days. When he returns, he'll be like a new man. I love it.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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I honestly hope Morgan listens to Doctor Parker and goes on this vacation and actually stays away from booze and sex for 30 days. When he returns, he'll be like a new man. I love it.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Some people like this unexpected twist. Some people don not. I need the thirty days to further a plot point. There is only one way up from the bottom!
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I agree and a story, has characters, check, problem, check, and solution, still to be checked. But coming.
Comment from Terry Broxson
Douglas, now this is a little unusual twist. The good doctor suggests he go on vacation. Maybe it will work. I have my doubts. The problem for me as a reader is that Morgan is not very likable. Clearly an alcoholic with a sex addiction who pays hookers has no business being a policeman. That is a formula for disaster. Terry.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Douglas, now this is a little unusual twist. The good doctor suggests he go on vacation. Maybe it will work. I have my doubts. The problem for me as a reader is that Morgan is not very likable. Clearly an alcoholic with a sex addiction who pays hookers has no business being a policeman. That is a formula for disaster. Terry.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Hmmm. . . Sounds like I got the readers right where I wanted them. Rehabilitation seems impossible at best. Something heroic needed . . . let?s see what happens.
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LOL! Go get us!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Hmmmm. A plot point that i was not expecting.
Will he actually take off for 30 days? Will he follow doctor's orders?
I thought he might enlist his partner's help and the two of them 'detect' the truth.
Hurry up with the next chapter!
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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Hmmmm. A plot point that i was not expecting.
Will he actually take off for 30 days? Will he follow doctor's orders?
I thought he might enlist his partner's help and the two of them 'detect' the truth.
Hurry up with the next chapter!
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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Some liked the vacation idea, some did not. But I needed the 30 days to cause an issue back in Seattle to develop. That's a tease!
D
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Ah. I was ok with the get-away, just questioned the quality of the meeting.
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Yeah, Morgan is pretty screwed. He took the money, now fled, and is suspect in several murders. Only a miracle hail-Mary will save him now, and I'm no Joe Nameth! HA!
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Surely you're not gonna hang 'im!
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Tune in tomorrow!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
The thread is beginning to unravel, or the mist if lifting, or the smoke is clearing and I see a plan coming together. I await the next release with bated breath ... or is that baited?
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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The thread is beginning to unravel, or the mist if lifting, or the smoke is clearing and I see a plan coming together. I await the next release with bated breath ... or is that baited?
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Either way. . . Morgan needs to get clean to fix this mess.
Comment from Julie Helms
It seems like if he were to go on vacation out of the country, that would make him look guiltier.
Good dialogue. Talking to a shrink is a good device to use to reveal the character's inner thoughts to the reader.
Your rambling, Detective." (You're)
Julie :-)
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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It seems like if he were to go on vacation out of the country, that would make him look guiltier.
Good dialogue. Talking to a shrink is a good device to use to reveal the character's inner thoughts to the reader.
Your rambling, Detective." (You're)
Julie :-)
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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I am not sure if Morgan can possibly look any worse after they find that dead hooker in the alleyway. Quite the pickle he is in.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought you did an excellent job using dialogue to give the detective a chance to unload and share his concerns. I like how he confesses to being suspended from duty due to the murders. You can feel his uncertainty and insecurity over the situation. Very nicely done. This was an enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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I thought you did an excellent job using dialogue to give the detective a chance to unload and share his concerns. I like how he confesses to being suspended from duty due to the murders. You can feel his uncertainty and insecurity over the situation. Very nicely done. This was an enjoyable read.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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What an awesome review! Thank you!