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Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Filthy Animal"2nd Place Finish
9 total reviews
Comment from Soledadpaz
Wow, what a turn of events. Morgan's inherent goodness caused him to save two strangers, with wide-ranging results. Talk about being in the right place at the right time, notwithstanding the fact that he was running for his life. And then he landed on a soft place.
Perhaps: The figure (still) didn't speak.
Sol
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
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Wow, what a turn of events. Morgan's inherent goodness caused him to save two strangers, with wide-ranging results. Talk about being in the right place at the right time, notwithstanding the fact that he was running for his life. And then he landed on a soft place.
Perhaps: The figure (still) didn't speak.
Sol
Comment Written 29-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
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This was a fun chapter to write!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Yay! I'm so happy things worked out for Morgan and Tamra. You tide all the ends nicely. Can't wait tor the end.
You have some symbols in your author notes.
Well done
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Yay! I'm so happy things worked out for Morgan and Tamra. You tide all the ends nicely. Can't wait tor the end.
You have some symbols in your author notes.
Well done
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Thank you! We are at the end! 3 more chapters . . .
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I like the way you write about sex. You do not feel the need to describe every body part, and discuss all the ways things can be done. I enjoy using my own brain, and not having someone trying to get themselves off when they write. You are winding this up good. I have really enjoyed this story. Karen
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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I like the way you write about sex. You do not feel the need to describe every body part, and discuss all the ways things can be done. I enjoy using my own brain, and not having someone trying to get themselves off when they write. You are winding this up good. I have really enjoyed this story. Karen
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Morgan's fornication is an integral part to this story. Yes, the ending is really good. Hope you're not looking for a warm and fuzzy ending. Now put your seatbelt on and strap in . . .
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm happy for Morgan, but we still don't know who murdered this women. GRRRR I like the story.
"You went from hero to bad guy the moment your wife killed herself. Tragic." (I'm beginning to wonder, in the middle of the night last night, if Debra really committed suicide. Or did one of the jerks make it look like suicide, knowing it would put Morgan in a tailspin so they could nail him.)
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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I'm happy for Morgan, but we still don't know who murdered this women. GRRRR I like the story.
"You went from hero to bad guy the moment your wife killed herself. Tragic." (I'm beginning to wonder, in the middle of the night last night, if Debra really committed suicide. Or did one of the jerks make it look like suicide, knowing it would put Morgan in a tailspin so they could nail him.)
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Ha! Nuff said.
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HMMMM
Comment from Terry Broxson
Douglas, this is another good one. You developed a nice twist to the story, and adding the defunding of the police politician is a good twist as well.
Look at the paragraph beginning, "Chief Wilson took a seat..." I believe you mean Morgan's to(p) brass.
I'm still betting on Hutch...we have not heard much about him. I'm thinking he is waiting in the wings...maybe in the dark, with a gun. Good job. Terry.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Douglas, this is another good one. You developed a nice twist to the story, and adding the defunding of the police politician is a good twist as well.
Look at the paragraph beginning, "Chief Wilson took a seat..." I believe you mean Morgan's to(p) brass.
I'm still betting on Hutch...we have not heard much about him. I'm thinking he is waiting in the wings...maybe in the dark, with a gun. Good job. Terry.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Thanks, Terry. There is no general consensus from the eight main reviewers on who the killer is. That means I am accomplishing what I wanted. I didn?t want it to be too easy. One more chapter than we guess! I?m excited.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Ok Well I may have been wrong about Tamra:( And what a hero Morgan is turning out to be! It looks like he's going to get away with this and there could be a happy ending...or maybe a Doug-style twist. Some small edits:
Morgan's (too?) boss pulled the phone..; he had jumped out of bed and (come) straight to the police station. As ever excellent, fluent dialogue which makes your story so credible. Debbie
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Ok Well I may have been wrong about Tamra:( And what a hero Morgan is turning out to be! It looks like he's going to get away with this and there could be a happy ending...or maybe a Doug-style twist. Some small edits:
Morgan's (too?) boss pulled the phone..; he had jumped out of bed and (come) straight to the police station. As ever excellent, fluent dialogue which makes your story so credible. Debbie
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Thanks, Debbie. This story is turning out better than I ever expected!
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Robert Frost: "I have never started a poem yet whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering" Also, of course ,applying to prose:)
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Ooh. I like that!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Rather unexpected turn of events. And she was naked waiting for his return. That's a stretch. They should have stared deep into each other's eyes, and ... take if from there.
and what is ... Morgan's too boss ???
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Rather unexpected turn of events. And she was naked waiting for his return. That's a stretch. They should have stared deep into each other's eyes, and ... take if from there.
and what is ... Morgan's too boss ???
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Thanks for that catch Tom. Yes, Tamra?s really after Morgan.
Comment from Julie Helms
Well that was unexpected! Poor Paco. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Ha.
So now I'm curious as to where all the evidence against Harper has gone. The plot just gets thickerer!
"That Bato's a filthy animal." (Foreign words...don't cap, use italics)
Morgan's too boss pulled the cell (? No idea what this means)
"Damn thing must've rang fifty times (rung...the 'have' makes rang rung)
he had jumped out of bed and came straight to the police station. (come...same deal 'had come')
Kerns is behind the defund the police movement (you need to set off 'defund the police' somehow. Maybe caps or italics or single quotes)
He was sitting in the front seat this time with the heater on as high as it would go, the Chief had called him Detective Harper, and Tamra who was waiting for him.
(3 parallel clauses, so need to match in form. Therefore 'Tamra was waiting for him')
The first time he took her it was a quick
(The readers demand MUCH more detail on this)
:-)
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Well that was unexpected! Poor Paco. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Ha.
So now I'm curious as to where all the evidence against Harper has gone. The plot just gets thickerer!
"That Bato's a filthy animal." (Foreign words...don't cap, use italics)
Morgan's too boss pulled the cell (? No idea what this means)
"Damn thing must've rang fifty times (rung...the 'have' makes rang rung)
he had jumped out of bed and came straight to the police station. (come...same deal 'had come')
Kerns is behind the defund the police movement (you need to set off 'defund the police' somehow. Maybe caps or italics or single quotes)
He was sitting in the front seat this time with the heater on as high as it would go, the Chief had called him Detective Harper, and Tamra who was waiting for him.
(3 parallel clauses, so need to match in form. Therefore 'Tamra was waiting for him')
The first time he took her it was a quick
(The readers demand MUCH more detail on this)
:-)
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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I bet we find out why they released him with all that circumstantial DNA evidence tomorrow?just a hunch!
Thanks for the great tips/fixes/suggestions. You are awesome!
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Just a hunch !?!? Lol!
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Ha!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well, well, well. It seems Ben Persons isn't the only one to realize a miracle here and there.
Nice writing.
Only thing is the sudden forgetfulness of all the evidence of morgan being a murderer. Hmmm.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Well, well, well. It seems Ben Persons isn't the only one to realize a miracle here and there.
Nice writing.
Only thing is the sudden forgetfulness of all the evidence of morgan being a murderer. Hmmm.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Interesting isn?t it. What is at play here?