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Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Redemption"2nd Place Finish
7 total reviews
Comment from Soledadpaz
My head is spinning along with Morgan's. He certainly didn't expect any of this. Of course, he was too boozed up and melancholy to really think straight and then he was too busy trying to stay alive.
The only way I can see it being Morgan who's the killer is if he has a split personality. I don't think so. Kelly is too young and immature to have overcome these others, or to think that way, but you never know. I don't see a motive for Tamra, the Dr, Mac, or Steve. It could be an angry, jaded cop who maybe portrays himself as goodly, but is not. Anderson is too obvious a choice, but who knows?
Can't wait to find out!
Sol
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
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My head is spinning along with Morgan's. He certainly didn't expect any of this. Of course, he was too boozed up and melancholy to really think straight and then he was too busy trying to stay alive.
The only way I can see it being Morgan who's the killer is if he has a split personality. I don't think so. Kelly is too young and immature to have overcome these others, or to think that way, but you never know. I don't see a motive for Tamra, the Dr, Mac, or Steve. It could be an angry, jaded cop who maybe portrays himself as goodly, but is not. Anderson is too obvious a choice, but who knows?
Can't wait to find out!
Sol
Comment Written 29-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
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Interesting analogy. I agree, Anderson is way too obvious. Hmmm.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
In the shower this morning, I was afraid, Tamra was the murderer because she wanted Morgan to herself, but after a cup a tea and a good workout, I said "NO!! Way!!" but now I'm back to Anderson. I take it Hutch killed Paco and company, right???
What was in Sanchez's mouth?" Chief Wilson cut him off. (missing beginning quotation mark)
After the room settled, the Chief continued. "Here's the story. (comma after 'continued,')
"What? Who?" (not clear who said this, you need a speech or action tag) Now, I know it was Hutch, but a lot later.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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In the shower this morning, I was afraid, Tamra was the murderer because she wanted Morgan to herself, but after a cup a tea and a good workout, I said "NO!! Way!!" but now I'm back to Anderson. I take it Hutch killed Paco and company, right???
What was in Sanchez's mouth?" Chief Wilson cut him off. (missing beginning quotation mark)
After the room settled, the Chief continued. "Here's the story. (comma after 'continued,')
"What? Who?" (not clear who said this, you need a speech or action tag) Now, I know it was Hutch, but a lot later.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Okay great fixes. Hang on to your britches. The next three chapters are gonna be whacky!
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I am into this story. How close are you to the word count. Have you made it??
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No. But I?m close. I was trying to closely follow the 1000 a day as originally proposed. I know it was switched to 30,000 in a month
Comment from Terry Broxson
Umm, so my principal suspect is actually saying he is Morgan's loyal wingman. I'm not sure I'm buy that just yet. And I notice that the Chief is not on the suspect list.
A possibility is Belzar, a wacked out religious cop who might think he is punishing women who become hookers.
The plot builds. Good work. Terry
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Umm, so my principal suspect is actually saying he is Morgan's loyal wingman. I'm not sure I'm buy that just yet. And I notice that the Chief is not on the suspect list.
A possibility is Belzar, a wacked out religious cop who might think he is punishing women who become hookers.
The plot builds. Good work. Terry
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Interesting?. Let?s finish this thing.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Great writing. The only people left as the "killer" are
#1 Dr. Parker- who is the worst head doctor ever, who had an obligation to report him to the police department as a danger to himself and others.
#2 Hugo-Paco's boy who may not have the brain power' but knows all the other players and now can take over without much fuss
#3 Belzar who is a godaholic which puts me off( I dislike those who only spew hatred), But frankly I don't see him as smart enough to carry it off
And.........
#4 Anderson the A.I.- he lost his lunch more than once around Morgan, so would never have given him a free ride out
So, really it can only be the Doctor, Karen
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Great writing. The only people left as the "killer" are
#1 Dr. Parker- who is the worst head doctor ever, who had an obligation to report him to the police department as a danger to himself and others.
#2 Hugo-Paco's boy who may not have the brain power' but knows all the other players and now can take over without much fuss
#3 Belzar who is a godaholic which puts me off( I dislike those who only spew hatred), But frankly I don't see him as smart enough to carry it off
And.........
#4 Anderson the A.I.- he lost his lunch more than once around Morgan, so would never have given him a free ride out
So, really it can only be the Doctor, Karen
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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One of your sentences was brilliant. But just one. Ha!
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So, really, it can only be the Doctor. Karen
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Let?s find out?.together?tomorrow ha!
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You wouldn't change things at this late date just to goose me would you? I might be forced to write about you as a secret Peeping Tom! Or, A secret frog guy who uses his Amazonian poisonous frog venom to kill all his old girlfriends who done him wrong. I was thinking of writing about Terry the younger years and the panty raid in college.. I might use the good old boys club rides again theme. who knows? My mind is a fertile crescent of ideas. :-)
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I do like the Terry idea! Funny. When I reveal the murderer I will list all the clues. Impossible to change and it has been he same person since Chapter 1
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I will no doubt be delighted if you hoodwinked me as long as it is plausible. :-)
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Aww and I wanted it to be Tamra:( Hope this isn't going to be too 'happily ever after!' Anderson now looks the most likely but can't help but think he's a red herring here. You've got me stumped Doug! Debbie.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Aww and I wanted it to be Tamra:( Hope this isn't going to be too 'happily ever after!' Anderson now looks the most likely but can't help but think he's a red herring here. You've got me stumped Doug! Debbie.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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What?s ?happily ever after??
Ha! You know me better than that. RLStein once said, "Every story has a beginning, a middle, and the twist!"
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice writing.
Very kind of the killer to give up the earring mementos.
The only problem with reviewers telling you who they suspect the killer is, is that it is within your control to 'rewrite' should too many of us guess correctly. (smiley face here)
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Nice writing.
Very kind of the killer to give up the earring mementos.
The only problem with reviewers telling you who they suspect the killer is, is that it is within your control to 'rewrite' should too many of us guess correctly. (smiley face here)
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Ha! The killer has been the same all along in my head. It hasn?t changed, but I did through in some red herrings!
Comment from Julie Helms
Redemption is a great name for this chapter!
I'm sorry, but I have no idea who the killer is. Not Tamra or Kelly.
A quick glance in the mirror brought a grin to his face. There I am. (Beautiful! I loved this!)
signed-out (signed out)
screw ups (screwups)
I'll wait until this all blows over and I'll fire you quicker (over, and)
Far enough, Chief." (Fair)
Well done!
Julie
:-)
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Redemption is a great name for this chapter!
I'm sorry, but I have no idea who the killer is. Not Tamra or Kelly.
A quick glance in the mirror brought a grin to his face. There I am. (Beautiful! I loved this!)
signed-out (signed out)
screw ups (screwups)
I'll wait until this all blows over and I'll fire you quicker (over, and)
Far enough, Chief." (Fair)
Well done!
Julie
:-)
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Awesome! Thank you. I?ll take not Kelly or Tamra as a guess!
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Sorry, I just noticed Redemption was the description, not title, because they all be people names, of course! But it is the perfect word for it. :-)
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No worries. Do you think
I should stick
With the names for chapters or switch them? My line of thinking was that it helped people remember the characters.