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Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Morgan Junior"2nd Place Finish
9 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Ah so this was the telling of all these stories of the various characters, and Tamra is the instigator and therefore a mass killer of all these people, just a little bit nuts I fear. Beautifully written my friend Douglas, great plotting, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Ah so this was the telling of all these stories of the various characters, and Tamra is the instigator and therefore a mass killer of all these people, just a little bit nuts I fear. Beautifully written my friend Douglas, great plotting, blessings Roy
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Probably not your normal read, Roy, so I really do appreciate you jumping in!
Douglas
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Your episodes can be read either single or episodically, clever Douglas
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Not too many people caught that, but it was intentional. I thought it might cause more people to jump in and review at various points. It worked, as a few folks popped in and out!
Have a blessed week, Roy!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
"I let him treat me like Disneyland and go on every ride. I know how to take care of my man." Hahaha..... this brings memories but I never thought about it this way, great imagery.
What a twist at the end. I'm sorry I missed a few chapters, I have been swamped with 40 reviews waiting in my message books every day.
It was a great book that could be a movie.
Well done@
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2024
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"I let him treat me like Disneyland and go on every ride. I know how to take care of my man." Hahaha..... this brings memories but I never thought about it this way, great imagery.
What a twist at the end. I'm sorry I missed a few chapters, I have been swamped with 40 reviews waiting in my message books every day.
It was a great book that could be a movie.
Well done@
Comment Written 31-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2024
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Thank you! I'm actually glad this is over. Ha!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Wow, she is just too evil for words! Well done , Doug, you've absolutely excelled with this story and kept us intrigued all the way through. Incredibly, you've judged the length and plot to fit perfectly into this month too which must have been a challenge and a half. It figures that, with Morgan's grief, guilty conscience and addictions, his eye would have been off the ball when it came to Tamra and he was simply desperate to regain some semblance of stability. I wonder when he'll be able to pull it all together. I think your story demands a follow-up because there is a certain amount of respect lost for our main character by the end (we always need to know that good will triumph, ideally). But congratulations on this impressive achievement! I think you have the contest in the bag! Take care and have a well-earned rest now:) Debbie
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Wow, she is just too evil for words! Well done , Doug, you've absolutely excelled with this story and kept us intrigued all the way through. Incredibly, you've judged the length and plot to fit perfectly into this month too which must have been a challenge and a half. It figures that, with Morgan's grief, guilty conscience and addictions, his eye would have been off the ball when it came to Tamra and he was simply desperate to regain some semblance of stability. I wonder when he'll be able to pull it all together. I think your story demands a follow-up because there is a certain amount of respect lost for our main character by the end (we always need to know that good will triumph, ideally). But congratulations on this impressive achievement! I think you have the contest in the bag! Take care and have a well-earned rest now:) Debbie
Comment Written 31-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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You are good at this sleuthing! I tied to shake you off Tamra, but you would not budge! Ha! There is a novel contest again in July. If I join that one, it is very consuming, then maybe I will do a Part 2 to this story. That is why I threw in Tamra's Mac Yung comment in the last chapter. Left it open for further development. We shall see.
I appreciate you loyally reviewing and editing to the very end, even though I promoted so little. You were such a huge help to me! Thank you!
Comment from Soledadpaz
Feels like I just finished a Hitchcockian suspense/thriller. Didn't really see it coming. I wondered about Tamra, but she seemed a little too cutesy, mousy, and self-absorbed, though a clue should've been her single mindedness in pursuing Morgan.
I take it Morgan truly loved his wife, enough to let himself become bewitched by a poor facsimile.
One question though is why did he take that money. Was he just being reckless, self-defeatist due to his grief? Perhaps I missed it, but I didn't catch if he had a purpose for it. To compromise himself that way.
I haven't enjoyed the thrill of a story quite so much in a long time. I hope Morgan doesn't fade away. Will there be a Morgan Junior? And will Morgan Senior have to commit his crazy, unbalanced mom, or worse? Will she swing too?
I congratulate you in completing this 30-day sprint while providing us with an engaging whodunnit.
A couple of thoughts:
Since she drugged him both biologically and chemically, perhaps: Several bouts of energetic sex had helped put him to sleep.
We're seeing her thoughts, but then she suddenly starts speaking out loud. Perhaps introduce her soliloquy by her noting that Morgan can't hear her. That no one is there to hear her. She's in her deranged world all by herself.
Awesome work!
Sol
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Feels like I just finished a Hitchcockian suspense/thriller. Didn't really see it coming. I wondered about Tamra, but she seemed a little too cutesy, mousy, and self-absorbed, though a clue should've been her single mindedness in pursuing Morgan.
I take it Morgan truly loved his wife, enough to let himself become bewitched by a poor facsimile.
One question though is why did he take that money. Was he just being reckless, self-defeatist due to his grief? Perhaps I missed it, but I didn't catch if he had a purpose for it. To compromise himself that way.
I haven't enjoyed the thrill of a story quite so much in a long time. I hope Morgan doesn't fade away. Will there be a Morgan Junior? And will Morgan Senior have to commit his crazy, unbalanced mom, or worse? Will she swing too?
I congratulate you in completing this 30-day sprint while providing us with an engaging whodunnit.
A couple of thoughts:
Since she drugged him both biologically and chemically, perhaps: Several bouts of energetic sex had helped put him to sleep.
We're seeing her thoughts, but then she suddenly starts speaking out loud. Perhaps introduce her soliloquy by her noting that Morgan can't hear her. That no one is there to hear her. She's in her deranged world all by herself.
Awesome work!
Sol
Comment Written 31-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Wow, where to start? First and foremost, thank you for sticking with me the whole way, even though I only promoted a couple of chapters.
As to your question, Morgan took the money as he was being reckless and self destructive. I was trying to portray a man on the edge who just did not care anymore.
Your comment 'I haven't enjoyed the thrill of a story quite so much in a long time' meant a lot to me and made my day. Such an awesome thing to read. Thank you.
I see that FS has already announced a second novel contest in July, so maybe I will do part 2.
Finally, it is impossible to properly thank you for all of the editing help. Just know that I will not forget your kindness.
Thank you, again!
Douglas
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I wasn't going to get on FanStory today because of Easter, but I came on for the sole purpose of reading this. I briefly thought of Tamra but couldn't believe she'd kill her twin sister, but I was pretty sure Debra didn't commit suicide. Great job.
Tamra had wanted Morgan every since the very first day she met him (ever???)
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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I wasn't going to get on FanStory today because of Easter, but I came on for the sole purpose of reading this. I briefly thought of Tamra but couldn't believe she'd kill her twin sister, but I was pretty sure Debra didn't commit suicide. Great job.
Tamra had wanted Morgan every since the very first day she met him (ever???)
Comment Written 31-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Did you really get on just to read my chapter? That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me on this site. You are so awesome. Plus a six star rating. I'm glad I met you, Barbara!
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Yes, I did. I got on to read and then closed down my computer. It was Easter, family time. I get up earlier than everybody else, I had a few minutes before I started cooking.
Comment from Terry Broxson
Douglas, congratulations on finishing the novel! That was a good twist. I never thought it might be Tamra. I did think it was a little creepy that Morgan was interested in Tamra, given that she was his wife's twin sister. But then, Morgan really wasn't a reliable stand-up guy. Douglas, great job in accepting the challenge. Terry.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Douglas, congratulations on finishing the novel! That was a good twist. I never thought it might be Tamra. I did think it was a little creepy that Morgan was interested in Tamra, given that she was his wife's twin sister. But then, Morgan really wasn't a reliable stand-up guy. Douglas, great job in accepting the challenge. Terry.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Terry. I don't think you missed a chapter! I appreciate you doing that, especially since you were reading two of us. I would guess you need a break as well! Ha! You are awesome. I mean that!
Douglas
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well done.
I don't know if I would have figured it out had I read the book in a continuous read (and not as I read several other chapter books simultaneously), but I felt that you were leaning toward Anderson too hard, that he must be the red herring. I never thought Tamra. But like I said... with a focused reading, maybe. (And maybe not) Good work.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Well done.
I don't know if I would have figured it out had I read the book in a continuous read (and not as I read several other chapter books simultaneously), but I felt that you were leaning toward Anderson too hard, that he must be the red herring. I never thought Tamra. But like I said... with a focused reading, maybe. (And maybe not) Good work.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Thank you for loyally hanging in and assisting me. I really appreciate you doing that, especially when I could not promote most chapters!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Holey Moley, once again, I must have been standing in a blindly snow storm as I never would have guessed Tamara was the villinous means to a gritty end. You must consider writing the follow-up. How is the pregnancy going to take longer than nine months???
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2024
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Holey Moley, once again, I must have been standing in a blindly snow storm as I never would have guessed Tamara was the villinous means to a gritty end. You must consider writing the follow-up. How is the pregnancy going to take longer than nine months???
Comment Written 31-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2024
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Thanks, Tom! I am glad you enjoyed this. Yes, there is room for a part 2!
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Morgan cannot get a break unless it's in the bedroom.
Comment from Julie Helms
Wow! You TOTALLY got me on that. I had no idea!! And she killed her sister AND is not pregnant.
The only thing I thought was weird was why Anderson would have left her alive.
I'm gonna say I missed ALL those clues because i was so focused on helping you edit, some little plot points may have slipped by. :-)
Poor Morgan. He'd just gotten his life back and now he doesn't even know the trouble he's in.
Fantastic job!! It was a pleasure reading through this!
Boy but was he so exited to rush out (excited)
Im not going to lie, seeing that floozy Vicki (I'm)
Nicki Nance was not killed until she banged Morgan. (Vicki Vance)
Julie
:-)
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Wow! You TOTALLY got me on that. I had no idea!! And she killed her sister AND is not pregnant.
The only thing I thought was weird was why Anderson would have left her alive.
I'm gonna say I missed ALL those clues because i was so focused on helping you edit, some little plot points may have slipped by. :-)
Poor Morgan. He'd just gotten his life back and now he doesn't even know the trouble he's in.
Fantastic job!! It was a pleasure reading through this!
Boy but was he so exited to rush out (excited)
Im not going to lie, seeing that floozy Vicki (I'm)
Nicki Nance was not killed until she banged Morgan. (Vicki Vance)
Julie
:-)
Comment Written 31-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Julie! You have been a faithful and loyal friend thru the journey! So very much appreciate your solid help! The sixer is a bonus!
D