Silent Voices
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "The Weight of Nothing"Verses of personification
14 total reviews
Comment from Shirley Ann Bunyan
Hi Jessica,
I've come back to this a couple of times. It feels hard reviewing something that feels so personal and real, yet beautiful and ethereal. It's weeps with feelings I believe even you don't fully understand.
'For all that's dead
once must have lived,
and only beating hearts
may stop,'
Wonderful and deeply sad.
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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Hi Jessica,
I've come back to this a couple of times. It feels hard reviewing something that feels so personal and real, yet beautiful and ethereal. It's weeps with feelings I believe even you don't fully understand.
'For all that's dead
once must have lived,
and only beating hearts
may stop,'
Wonderful and deeply sad.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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Shirley, I appreciate this review very much. I know what you mean, and you are right to say I don?t fully understand the feelings. The inspiration for this piece was drawn from witnessing apathy in another and imagining what it must be like- which is difficult.
Thank you again for your wonderful insight.
Xoxo
Comment from Sally Law
I think this is one of most brilliant poems to date, my talented friend. I've seen indifference up close and personal and it like looking upon the shroud of death. Your poem takes us to the inevitable end:
I am but nothing,
if not an outcome
of massacred emotion.
Brava! Brava!
Sending you my best today as always and extra blessings on your birthday too.
Sal Xoxo's
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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I think this is one of most brilliant poems to date, my talented friend. I've seen indifference up close and personal and it like looking upon the shroud of death. Your poem takes us to the inevitable end:
I am but nothing,
if not an outcome
of massacred emotion.
Brava! Brava!
Sending you my best today as always and extra blessings on your birthday too.
Sal Xoxo's
Comment Written 28-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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Sally, you made my night. I appreciate you so much. Thank you!!! Xoxo
Comment from Jim Wile
Beautifully written, Jess, in stating the likely mindset of the narcissist and the sociopath, both of whom are largely indifferent to all others except themselves. Depression is often a state of indifference about others and self together, and as emotions go, it is probably at rock bottom.
I loved this stanza because it especially is the foundation of depression:
I am a vacant
nothingness, yet
heavy is my burden
to those whom I have latched.
And the irony of this stanza was terrific:
I'm felt in absent feeling,
and seen in what's not there,
an echo of the silence,
the shadow of detachment.
This so well captures the feeling of indifference. Great job with this free verse. - Jim
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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Beautifully written, Jess, in stating the likely mindset of the narcissist and the sociopath, both of whom are largely indifferent to all others except themselves. Depression is often a state of indifference about others and self together, and as emotions go, it is probably at rock bottom.
I loved this stanza because it especially is the foundation of depression:
I am a vacant
nothingness, yet
heavy is my burden
to those whom I have latched.
And the irony of this stanza was terrific:
I'm felt in absent feeling,
and seen in what's not there,
an echo of the silence,
the shadow of detachment.
This so well captures the feeling of indifference. Great job with this free verse. - Jim
Comment Written 28-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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Jim, your comments and thoughts on this piece are so very appreciated. Thank you, my friend!
Xoxo
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I agree, Jessica. Apathy or indifference are dangerous and all too prevalent in our culture today. Apathetic people have no interest in what is going on with their loved ones and their relationships and even family and friends. It is sad and scary and happens with no one noticing or doing anything about it to ease the indifference in their loved one's life.
Jesse
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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I agree, Jessica. Apathy or indifference are dangerous and all too prevalent in our culture today. Apathetic people have no interest in what is going on with their loved ones and their relationships and even family and friends. It is sad and scary and happens with no one noticing or doing anything about it to ease the indifference in their loved one's life.
Jesse
Comment Written 28-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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Thanks so much, Jesse.
Comment from royowen
Oh yes I've felt the ignominy of apathy, when one lacks motivation, a reference point of contact, mind you my life led to greener pastures, recaptured dreams, and now, even in the late summer of life, dreams burn. Beautifully written dear Jessica, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Oh yes I've felt the ignominy of apathy, when one lacks motivation, a reference point of contact, mind you my life led to greener pastures, recaptured dreams, and now, even in the late summer of life, dreams burn. Beautifully written dear Jessica, blessings Roy
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much, Roy xo
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Well done
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Jessica,
This poem tells of a dark and lonely life. If you have no real feelings than others will also begin to ignore you and you will become a loner. Maybe not of your own free will. This is a state that needs to be helped out with some therapy, maybe. You personify and describe these feelings well
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a grand rest of the weekend.
Joan
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Hi Jessica,
This poem tells of a dark and lonely life. If you have no real feelings than others will also begin to ignore you and you will become a loner. Maybe not of your own free will. This is a state that needs to be helped out with some therapy, maybe. You personify and describe these feelings well
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a grand rest of the weekend.
Joan
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much! Xoxo
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You are most kindly welcome, Jessica.
Joan
Comment from estory
This was interesting. I liked the wafting rhythm, the muted voice, the subdued emotion and the abstract, vague imagery. You paint a picture of loneliness here, of watching the world move on without you; a picture of someone reaching out for contact and ending up with nothing. There's almost a sense of the futility of life. There really is a pained voice here, looking back over this empty landscape. The abstract expressionist style is expertly composed in this piece, and used to great effect. Poignant. estory
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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This was interesting. I liked the wafting rhythm, the muted voice, the subdued emotion and the abstract, vague imagery. You paint a picture of loneliness here, of watching the world move on without you; a picture of someone reaching out for contact and ending up with nothing. There's almost a sense of the futility of life. There really is a pained voice here, looking back over this empty landscape. The abstract expressionist style is expertly composed in this piece, and used to great effect. Poignant. estory
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much! Xoxo
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very well written piece for the contest and I wish you the very best in the contest. May you have a lovely weekend and may God richly bless you with all good things. Patricia .
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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This is a very well written piece for the contest and I wish you the very best in the contest. May you have a lovely weekend and may God richly bless you with all good things. Patricia .
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much! Xoxo
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
It's arguable if this is, in fact, depression. Certainly an extreme emptiness, and existential void? Haunting like a ghost with no substance, "washed of meaning and colour." All your sentiments are negative ones - broken, cracked, lost, routeless, non-existent, detachment etc. They build in force to create this powerful sense of indifference wrought by shattered emotions. An excellently chilling post, Jess! Good luck in the contest! Debbie xo
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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It's arguable if this is, in fact, depression. Certainly an extreme emptiness, and existential void? Haunting like a ghost with no substance, "washed of meaning and colour." All your sentiments are negative ones - broken, cracked, lost, routeless, non-existent, detachment etc. They build in force to create this powerful sense of indifference wrought by shattered emotions. An excellently chilling post, Jess! Good luck in the contest! Debbie xo
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much! Xoxo
Comment from A.C. Goldman
Beautiful. I truly was impressed. I was a little confused by this line combo: "Though none speak to my kindness,
some still will say I'm cruel." To me, none speaking of your kindness aligns with saying you're cruel so "though" doesn't quite work for me - would omitting "though" and "still" work there?
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Beautiful. I truly was impressed. I was a little confused by this line combo: "Though none speak to my kindness,
some still will say I'm cruel." To me, none speaking of your kindness aligns with saying you're cruel so "though" doesn't quite work for me - would omitting "though" and "still" work there?
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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I see what you mean. Excellent catch- I will revise! Thanks so much for your review, I truly appreciate it!!
Xo
Jessica