Rum Higgins
A short story for a contest I didn't enter9 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Six stars for content. This could be expanded to a long short story sometime. I think you mean 'dire straits' instead of 'dire straights.' Unless, of course, there is some kind of poker game or Yahtzee game going on. The line or sentence I liked best was this one:
the crew's penchant for disobeying orders saved them.
There are a few little things that could be fixed, but I will just pick two or three:
This paragraph on punctuation:
"My great grandfather was the pirate Wesley Higgins", I finally growled. "I know, who the hell was Wesley Higgins?", I added half angered by his insolence. "He was a freakin' pirate, weren't you listening?"
I would try:
"My great-grandfather was the pirate Wesley Higgins," I finally growled. "I know, who the hell was Wesley Higgins?" (Who asked this? Add an identifier here)
I added, half-angered by his insolence. "He was a freakin' pirate; weren't you listening?"
In the late eighteen hundreds
I would say: In the late 1800s,
reply by the author on 27-May-2024
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Six stars for content. This could be expanded to a long short story sometime. I think you mean 'dire straits' instead of 'dire straights.' Unless, of course, there is some kind of poker game or Yahtzee game going on. The line or sentence I liked best was this one:
the crew's penchant for disobeying orders saved them.
There are a few little things that could be fixed, but I will just pick two or three:
This paragraph on punctuation:
"My great grandfather was the pirate Wesley Higgins", I finally growled. "I know, who the hell was Wesley Higgins?", I added half angered by his insolence. "He was a freakin' pirate, weren't you listening?"
I would try:
"My great-grandfather was the pirate Wesley Higgins," I finally growled. "I know, who the hell was Wesley Higgins?" (Who asked this? Add an identifier here)
I added, half-angered by his insolence. "He was a freakin' pirate; weren't you listening?"
In the late eighteen hundreds
I would say: In the late 1800s,
Comment Written 27-May-2024
reply by the author on 27-May-2024
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lol you should have written this thanks
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Ha ha ha ha. I have written two pirate scripts and three pirate-themed poems. Only one of the two pirate scripts have been produced so far, including in a middle school.
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I wrote a full screenplay years back. They asked for a ten-page treatment with character breakdowns. Then the rejection letter came. Pirates of the Caribbean was being produced. Mine was too similar. I never wrote another. I should do that for fun again.
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That is too bad about the rejection letter. There are so many pirate stories that there should be room for all of them.
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Spec scripts are hard to sell or option.
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I believe you. Have never tried that before.
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I tried to expand my story Adam and my story For I Had Known Her, but kept getting writers block. Thanks for the encouragement.
Comment from Shirley Ann Bunyan
Hi Eean,
I so enjoyed this swashbuckling romp on board The Big Lucy.
You paint a great character in Old rum Higgins...
'A loud, billowing, larger than life drunk'
A fitting end for him, too!
Well done.
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Hi Eean,
I so enjoyed this swashbuckling romp on board The Big Lucy.
You paint a great character in Old rum Higgins...
'A loud, billowing, larger than life drunk'
A fitting end for him, too!
Well done.
Comment Written 06-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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That does mean a lot coming from you.
Comment from Gloria ....
I thought this is a good sailor story. I can imagine a great deal of rum was consumed by the lot of them but Higgins was the victim of his own rum-created ill will.
Just one small typo here: Many times The Big Lucy was almost captured, but the crews (crew's) penchant
Wishing you great luck in the contest you didn't enter.
Gloria
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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I thought this is a good sailor story. I can imagine a great deal of rum was consumed by the lot of them but Higgins was the victim of his own rum-created ill will.
Just one small typo here: Many times The Big Lucy was almost captured, but the crews (crew's) penchant
Wishing you great luck in the contest you didn't enter.
Gloria
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Oh, I won that one that I didn't enter. It was the other three that I'm disappointed in. This is all so new to me. I can't get too bogged down in the emotional side of losing. I should just write, submit and learn. Maybe I should try to retain and use what I learn? Nooooo. lol
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice story. Well written.
but the crews penchant - (crew's penchant)
Thanks you old rummy you. - You could use a comma in this sentence. After 'thanks' would work.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Nice story. Well written.
but the crews penchant - (crew's penchant)
Thanks you old rummy you. - You could use a comma in this sentence. After 'thanks' would work.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Thanks for the review. I do see the typo. So much for grammerly. I'll just have to not be lazy.
Comment from jim vecchio
The part about the furry kitten wasn't as good as the part about the sloppy hog. -A Review for a story you didn't write! (If you could do it, so could I)
Seriously, I enjoyed this novel no-entry to a non-contest and hope you continue to write!
reply by the author on 04-May-2024
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The part about the furry kitten wasn't as good as the part about the sloppy hog. -A Review for a story you didn't write! (If you could do it, so could I)
Seriously, I enjoyed this novel no-entry to a non-contest and hope you continue to write!
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 04-May-2024
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Well, I wasn't high when I wrote and there was a contest about the pirate theme. That is unless I was high. But, I don't get high so I don't know. lol
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Had it entered, I bet you would've won!
Comment from nancyjam
I enjoyed your story and the pirate theme. Very descriptive of pirate life.
This particular Captain was just too much for his crew and they got rid of him the best way they knew how.
But at least his family benefited from his not so wonderful life!
Nancy
reply by the author on 04-May-2024
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I enjoyed your story and the pirate theme. Very descriptive of pirate life.
This particular Captain was just too much for his crew and they got rid of him the best way they knew how.
But at least his family benefited from his not so wonderful life!
Nancy
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 04-May-2024
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It's fiction you gold digging writer you. No, seriously thanks.
Comment from pome lover
cute story and the ending gave me a chuckle.
Why did you not enter it in the contest? and what contest was it? if you don't mind my asking. It'a a good story.
Katharine
reply by the author on 04-May-2024
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cute story and the ending gave me a chuckle.
Why did you not enter it in the contest? and what contest was it? if you don't mind my asking. It'a a good story.
Katharine
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 04-May-2024
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It was a contest and I missed the deadline. I honestly can't remember much about it. Like I told Jim Vecchio, I was not high when I wrote this and there was a contest.
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well, probably more people saw it than if it had been in the contest. :)
Comment from Begin Again
Ahoy Mate! It seems as if even the worst pirates couldn't put up with ole Wesley Higgins, who met his ill fate at sea inside a keg of his favorite brew. Lucky for the family, though! Cute story.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 04-May-2024
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Ahoy Mate! It seems as if even the worst pirates couldn't put up with ole Wesley Higgins, who met his ill fate at sea inside a keg of his favorite brew. Lucky for the family, though! Cute story.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 04-May-2024
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Thank you for reading. I will read you soon. Nice smile Carol. God bless.
Comment from Mark Jackson
A fun tale with a nasty end. Never seen the term keel hogging is that something you created to replace keelhauling? I feel the truth of would be that a pirate crew would never put up with a bad captain so your story ring true. One point, you seem to have an added space:before: This in the four paragraph.
reply by the author on 04-May-2024
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A fun tale with a nasty end. Never seen the term keel hogging is that something you created to replace keelhauling? I feel the truth of would be that a pirate crew would never put up with a bad captain so your story ring true. One point, you seem to have an added space:before: This in the four paragraph.
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 04-May-2024
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Its keel hauling actually. I just changed it. Spell checking didn't catch it, nor did I. Thanks for that information.
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I think it is usually one word but can be hyphenated. It is perhaps two words in modern usage.
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Yes thanks.
