The End.
What to write about the last day of Earth?6 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Well done in describing Earth's last day in a journal entry and just on hundred words. Good use of the personification of Earth and Nature. It feels quite plausible.
reply by the author on 23-May-2024
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Well done in describing Earth's last day in a journal entry and just on hundred words. Good use of the personification of Earth and Nature. It feels quite plausible.
Comment Written 14-May-2024
reply by the author on 23-May-2024
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Thanks so much for your review. Glad you enjoyed the read. Not a nice topic to think about. Lets hope it never happens. Take care and have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Esther Brown
The Earth ending. The last journal entry before a personal ending I can understand being no more than the description of what you see coming and last minute comfort holding each other. Well written. So many scenarios possible. The worst fear of most is to die alone. Esther
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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The Earth ending. The last journal entry before a personal ending I can understand being no more than the description of what you see coming and last minute comfort holding each other. Well written. So many scenarios possible. The worst fear of most is to die alone. Esther
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Esther,
Thanks so much for your review. Yes, in my opinion the journal entry is one that describes what is going on outside and the emotional turmoil that is within the room. As you have said, so many scenarios are possible.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from zanya
A relatively calm mood pervades this account for the Journal Drabble for the end of days - I guess we do know it's coming one day but it will still present some uncertainty
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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A relatively calm mood pervades this account for the Journal Drabble for the end of days - I guess we do know it's coming one day but it will still present some uncertainty
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Zanya,
Thanks for the review. It certainly will present some uncertainty. This was difficult to approach. Really do not want to think about it but we certainly are not doing enough to ensure the earth is around forever.
Take care.
Regards
Barry
Comment from Mark Jackson
A good read I enjoyed it and wish you well in the contest. I am wondering if you are having an issue with your space bar. A couple of times after a full-stop there is no space.
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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A good read I enjoyed it and wish you well in the contest. I am wondering if you are having an issue with your space bar. A couple of times after a full-stop there is no space.
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Mark,
Thanks so much for your review. Also thanks for noticing the space bar "issue". It is a combination of my actions and the word count. Because of the way I seem to type I get false readings as the computer counts an extra word for my spacing. I try to correct it but obviously do not always succeed. I end up manually counting anyway.
Cheers
Barry Penfold
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
I can see this. You writing was clear and rather believable. The part about no contact with other persons made me kinda think he/she was alone - so I was a *little* surprised when I found them cuddling with others. You might think about clearing that up, maybe. That they mean contact outside their home or outside their safe place?
I realize you are working with a word count and that creates certain struggles and limitations, but it might help. Just to consider.
Other notes:
1.) A grey cloud with an orange tinge, builds slowly to our
--> no comma
2.) It is as if, the Earth is berating us for one final time.
--> no comma
3.) Reminding us, that we had many chances, but did not
--> no comma
4.) Another time beginning.
--> "time" seems rather vague - you might consider "era" or "period"?
This is a nicely composed piece and I would think it should have a good chance to take top place. I did like the fact there were some spacing issues between a couple sentences... If it were the absolute end of the world, my hand would probably be shaking. I might misspell a couple words - The grammar might be less than perfect.
Nice job! Good luck!
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Dear Mystery Writer,
I can see this. You writing was clear and rather believable. The part about no contact with other persons made me kinda think he/she was alone - so I was a *little* surprised when I found them cuddling with others. You might think about clearing that up, maybe. That they mean contact outside their home or outside their safe place?
I realize you are working with a word count and that creates certain struggles and limitations, but it might help. Just to consider.
Other notes:
1.) A grey cloud with an orange tinge, builds slowly to our
--> no comma
2.) It is as if, the Earth is berating us for one final time.
--> no comma
3.) Reminding us, that we had many chances, but did not
--> no comma
4.) Another time beginning.
--> "time" seems rather vague - you might consider "era" or "period"?
This is a nicely composed piece and I would think it should have a good chance to take top place. I did like the fact there were some spacing issues between a couple sentences... If it were the absolute end of the world, my hand would probably be shaking. I might misspell a couple words - The grammar might be less than perfect.
Nice job! Good luck!
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Robyn,
Thanks for your review. I am glad you enjoyed it. Thanks also for your handy hints. Very much appreciated. A little rushed in the writing as I started out a bit late. Anyway, it is getting some good feedback.
Yes, I think I would be quite shaky when entering into the journal.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
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Awesome! Hope you do well!
Comment from RodG
This journal depicts the grim ending of the Earth and humanity. You set the scene very well with your description of the approaching cloud and the numerous tremors. I also like how you depict the narrator as being bitter about people's ignoring what was happening to the world around them yet remaining stoic right up to the very end. Rod
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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This journal depicts the grim ending of the Earth and humanity. You set the scene very well with your description of the approaching cloud and the numerous tremors. I also like how you depict the narrator as being bitter about people's ignoring what was happening to the world around them yet remaining stoic right up to the very end. Rod
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Thanks Rod, for your kind review. Glad you enjoyed the read. A little bit difficult to write about the final day. However, it will happen one day.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
