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Sonnet on Theme of Betrayal

33 total reviews 
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well, we can't say you didn't do your best. However, it seems there is no end to the depths to which a man will sink in the pursuit of power. How easily, even with the lessons of history, the general populace can be deceived. It makes no sense to me. However, I haven't lived through the depressing collapse in living standards. It is easy to blame the other side when things are going badly. In fact, it seems to be at the very basis of political survival.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2024

Comment from Brenda Strauser
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi. I agree with you totally about Donald Trump. Now he is president again. I am saddened by this. As if this isn't bad enough. The republican party has taken the senate and the house. I pray for our country because I don't know what will happen to it. I like your poem. It is very descriptive and well written.

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
    Hi, Brenda. Thanks for the kind words.
    I am saddened too by the election results. Even in faraway New Zealand I expect some fallout from Trump's re-emergence on the world stage and I shudder to think of the effect he will have.
    Take care.
    Steve
Comment from EeanBlack
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, I'm one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. All that media crap about how hateful MAGA people are is a load of, well, crap. Almost every one of us loves our God, country, family, and community. Yes, some people hate, but most, just like the other side, just want good government. Efficient and stable government, not some crazy one ran on joy. Joy doesn't feed an empty belly. Just because the media says something is one way, doesn't make it so. He has NEVER called for NO immigration, just fair and legal. It helps to keep the delicate system from totally collapsing. As far as the poem goes, it is well-written and intelligent. You are a very talented writer. Just because you have different values, doesn't mean you are full of hate.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
    Hi, Eean. Pleased to meet you, especially since you are one of the nicest guys I could ever come across!
    I don't remember mentioning Trump's supporters in my poem, but since you bring it up I suspect you are mis-labelling yourself as MAGA because one of their defining characteristics IS that they are hateful.
    I wish you good luck if you seriously think that an 'efficient and stable government' will be forthcoming under Trump. Were you not around for his previous administration? And are you really sure you want to discuss his immigration policy, when he's promised one of his first acts will be to use the national Guards and the military to round up ten million or so illegals into internment camps and then deport them?
    No hate in me except for the violent and hateful rhetoric that spews from him. Let's talk again after the next four years or perhaps more likely when his awful VP ascends to the throne to start enacting the wishes of his billionaire patrons.

    Steve
reply by EeanBlack on 07-Nov-2024
    I was around for the previous one. He battled political hell and bias beyond any I have ever seen and won. Covid destroyed me personally and he was saddled with it and NO president could have handled it as well. It's just an opinion, you have yours and good and have fun prospering these next four years.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
    Tell it to the people of Ukraine and Gaza, both of whom he intends to throw under the bus. Tell it to the millions of immigrants he is going to place in internment camps.
    I'm in New Zealand so it will take some time before his insane policies trickle through the geopolitical system to affect us here. You will feel it long before then as your inflation soars due to his tariffs and your health system collapses, your deficit climbs...
    But as long as you're happy that you chose the rapist and fraudster I wish you a good life.
reply by EeanBlack on 07-Nov-2024
    Well, I'm not going to speculate, considering I am not even remotely emotionally connected with any of the mentioned subjects, except Biden's high inflation. As far as a good life it is as good as I make it, regardless of where in this world I live. I'm not going to bash you or try to make you feel guilty for your beliefs, so I'll do my best not to review you, if you wish. Otherwise, have a wonderful day.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2024
    Well perhaps you could manage just one more message to explain exactly how Biden managed to make inflation spike all around the world at exactly the same time. And then, of course, how he somehow managed to bring it down again without causing recession more successfully than any other major economy...

    As far as your emotional connections go, if you are totally blase about women and children being shelled and bombed and mutilated then perhaps it would be better that we don't communicate any more because you are clearly not human.

    'One of the nicest guys I could ever meet' rings a little hollow now, I'm afraid.

    Did I forget to mention that MAGA folk are dumb and cruel as well as hateful?
reply by EeanBlack on 08-Nov-2024
    The world is not my concern, only MINE. I would say the FED here in the US, but that is independent of our president. I don't remember EVER saying that I'm okay with hurting anybody and am DOMPLETELY above ever trying to blame you for anything another does. That would be WEAK and pathetic. As for dumb and cruel and hateful isn't that what you were acting like toward me? If not, I'm truly sorry, but your words seem like a personal attack. I'm saving them and sending them to FANSTORY for review. Thank you for your comments. God Bless.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2024
    Read your own words - the world is not my concern.

    Guess you missed the Bible class about the Good Samaritan and doing unto others as you would have them do to you.

    Not a personal attack - just an attack against pure selfishness. Sounds to me like, if your neighbour's house was on fire you would simply make sure your own place was safe and then get on with your life.
Comment from Nicole Dover
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The word "drew" makes me think the poem will take a more artistic direction. Perhaps a different word might set the reader off on a better foot.

Good work - Nicole

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
    Thanks, Nicole. Perhaps you are reading too much into the use of one word! And a formal sonnet, after all, IS an artistic piece.
    Have a great day.
    Steve
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A beautifully written poem from a non-American who views us from afar and perhaps sees us clearer than we see ourselves at times. I stand with every statement you make about that vile man and I am praying for the dawn of a new day and the turning of a page. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
    Many thanks, Marilyn.
    Alas the page has turned backwards taking the world into darker times, I believe. It is hard to believe that a majority of Americans do not see the vileness that you and I recognize.

    Steve
Comment from bob cullen
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You are a brave man Steve, and while I do support your view 100%. I do however fear this poem will attract many attacks on you. I also fear for the future of the US if Mr. Trump's victory is confirmed.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
    Bob, thanks for the kind words and the extra star. I am not worried about the potential attacks on FS. In fact there has only been one polite disagreement so far. I am more concerned about the inevitable fallout from re-electing this vile man...

    Steve
Comment from CM Pickard
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was a bit of a surprise packet, in a good way. Sonnets are hard but you've put in the sweat and come up with one that not only works but isn't soppy, cliche or a ripoff of something better. The framework of the sonnet doesn't interfere with the message.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
    Thank you for the kind words.
    Yes, sonnets are often hard work. I am glad you appreciated this one.

    Steve
Comment from mrsmajor
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I gladly give you the 6
stars that this beautifully written Sonnet does deserve.
Let me say that as an American, born, raised and educated here, I am truly saddened to see what has happened to a country that appeared, at one time, to be on the right track toward becoming a true Democracy.
However, I'm not at all surprised, though, that it has come to this.

There is indeed a man so filled with his own self importance, ego, self love, lack of accurate knowledge, lack of feeling for anyone else, the willingness to lie about everything, and I mean anything, and most of all...the fear of being called
"ordinary"
that he'll go down fighting, rather than tell the truth...really...how very sad that a person feels that by telling lies, he will be loved.

When I watch people stand up for him, I realize how dangerous he has become, for the rest of the country.
People have now felt free enough to outwardly stand by a man that speaks their language... and he knows it...

But, those same people don't appear to understand just what he is aiming to do, and I believe it's a lack of knowledge about how this country functions, from the top to the lowest level of government.
I don't think some realize that he would just as well throw them under the bus, as he would anyone else that dared to ever say one word that he didn't want to hear.

Then there are those that couldn't care less about anyone that isn't one of them...A Republican...

They will vote for him, knowing just what he really is.
A man unfit to lead this country, a man that lacks common sense and also lacks serious knowledge when it comes to the constitution, and foreign affairs.
I know college students that understand the world and its problem better than he does.

Your poem spoke louder and with more understanding than many who will vote for him, no matter how disgusting, and ugly he speaks about people...and no matter how he clearly shows that he is against people of color...He said it all himself, he didn't want people from the "sh..hole countries of Africa to come here"...and many American feel the very same way, that's why many in the country accept him so easily.
Yes I say that without any hesitation at all.

There are millions out there, that will stand by him, because they cannot accept that without the slaves, and immigrants, this country would never have be able to become such a nation...They seem to believe they did it all.

I actually feel sorry for people that refuse to acknowledge American History, for what it was.

I shake my head in disbelief when I watch his supporters speak up for a man like trump.

His lack of character means nothing, that he lies constantly, means nothing, that he hates so strongly means absolutely nothing, he's their guy!

And right now there's a possibility that he just might win in November.

No I still don't vote, never have, I believe in the true head of my house, Almighty God, but others have the right to do what they feel is right for them..

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us, I admire your willingness to say what you think, and I understand why you did...I remember you!

Take Care, and Stay Well...Love and a great big Hug...
Blessings!

Oh yes the Virtual Tea party is still on.
I just celebrated my 90th birthday, but I can still make a darn good tasting Apple Pie, and a cup of tea goes with it very well...and you're still invited...lol

Warmly,
Victoria


 Comment Written 14-Oct-2024


reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
    Hey, Victoria! How wonderful to hear from you. I'm sure it will bring a smile that your review pushed my poem into the ALL Time Best category.

    Like you I am totally baffled that this election can even be close. Trump is so obviously declining mentally, not to mention all the other characteristics that make him unfit for any public office. It is increasingly apparent that his 'smart' supporters are aware that there is no way he can complete a 4-year term so they are actually planning to put JD Vance into office.

    I am still optimistic that the polls are actually wrong and that there will be a solid win for Kamala Harris who I think will make a fine President and will attempt to unite your country and start to return the political scene to some sort of civility and common sense.

    Of course there will be disruption and protests and legal challenges if Trump loses. Let's hope those don't get out of hand.

    Again, many thanks for your warm thoughts expressed here. Congratulations on reaching 90 years! My wife and I are currently looking for the best ways to help and care for her mother who is 92. She still lives on her own but is becoming a little confused and sadly is losing her sight. She refuses to even think about moving into a rest home because her precious cat would be lost without her!

    I would love to attend the tea party. I may bring Lamingtons!

    Stay well! I remember you had various health issues so let's hope they remain at bay and your family stay healthy and happy as well.

    Steve
Comment from Dawn Munro
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

American or not, you evoke such feelings of betrayal, I think this poem will be very hard to beat...

My favourite stanza:

But one dark day we gave the golden crown

of leadership to one who broke our trust,

betrayed our nation, tore convention down,

to satisfy his ego, greed and lust.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2024


reply by the author on 05-Oct-2024
    Thanks, Dawn, for the glowing words and the extra star.

    I'm happy with the way this sonnet turned out but not expecting too much from the Committee. I suspect they don't like overtly political posts, even if I buried the Trump stuff way down in the third stanza!

    Steve
reply by Dawn Munro on 05-Oct-2024
    Yes, well, I sure haven't the slightest... LOL. That committee is hard to read. Regardless, Trump is nuts, IMO. Anything we can do to influence the decision... Even though I oppose some of Kamala's agenda, she is the OBVIOUS better choice.
    I'm just glad I am not American either, although what happens with Canada's closest neighbour DOES affect Canadians. (Yikes!)
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

As an Aussie I can see that your words could apply to many countries including my own. A different take on betrayal, for the contest, Steve and well done.
Cheers
Valda

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2024


reply by the author on 05-Oct-2024
    Thanks, Valda.
    Yep, it could apply to other countries, but I'm pretty sure most people will work out which one I meant - the one having a major election in exactly one month!

    Steve