Detour
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Leaving Rebekah "Two very real women in not so real situation.
29 total reviews
Comment from Daylily
Another exciting and informative chapter, my friend. I even had a few flashback moments remembering when I first arrived in New York--although, of course, it was THE CITY. Doesn't matter, having come by myself via plane from an Air Force Base in Puerto Rico, experiencing anything about NY first hand was a miracle. (I arrived there alone at age 19 to become a career girl. Ha! While I did get a job as a legal secretary for a VP at CBS, I wound up going back home and then lived with my retired Air Force parents for a short while. After that, I went out on my own again.)
It was easy to pick up your story again after being absent from FS for a few weeks. I'm eager to get fully caught up this weekend. XO Lily
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
  |
Another exciting and informative chapter, my friend. I even had a few flashback moments remembering when I first arrived in New York--although, of course, it was THE CITY. Doesn't matter, having come by myself via plane from an Air Force Base in Puerto Rico, experiencing anything about NY first hand was a miracle. (I arrived there alone at age 19 to become a career girl. Ha! While I did get a job as a legal secretary for a VP at CBS, I wound up going back home and then lived with my retired Air Force parents for a short while. After that, I went out on my own again.)
It was easy to pick up your story again after being absent from FS for a few weeks. I'm eager to get fully caught up this weekend. XO Lily
Comment Written 12-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
-
I've missed you so much and been worried (I'm Jewish; that's my birthright...) Thank you for this absolutely fantastic review. It means the world.
And what a life you've had!! Yikes!! You fascinate me!! xoxox
Comment from Lori Mulligan
You've done it again! Another engaging chapter in Detour. I know I've said it before but you really know how to develop your characters into genuine people. I love how real the instant connections between Rebekah and Maria are. Overall, a pleasure!
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2024
|
You've done it again! Another engaging chapter in Detour. I know I've said it before but you really know how to develop your characters into genuine people. I love how real the instant connections between Rebekah and Maria are. Overall, a pleasure!
Comment Written 11-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2024
-
You're a great reviewer. After I read anything you write, I want to go right back to my desk and write more. Thank you for always being such an inspiration that way. xoxox
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good morning, Rachelle!
Goodness!
I'm a tad bit late to this party, but I surely enjoyed this chapter.
That Jane is definitely unhinged. I've known a number of uncouth and obnoxious individuals in my life, but Jane wins first prize!
Your writing is smooth and flows well.
Love the description of Maria and her home.
Onward to saying goodbye to R and finding your way to the convention!
Much enjoyed.
fondly,
diane
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2024
|
Good morning, Rachelle!
Goodness!
I'm a tad bit late to this party, but I surely enjoyed this chapter.
That Jane is definitely unhinged. I've known a number of uncouth and obnoxious individuals in my life, but Jane wins first prize!
Your writing is smooth and flows well.
Love the description of Maria and her home.
Onward to saying goodbye to R and finding your way to the convention!
Much enjoyed.
fondly,
diane
Comment Written 09-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2024
-
You are definitely NOT late to the party! And even if you were, it would be more than worth the wait. Thank you for this warm and encouraging and very affirming review. You're right; we ALL know Jane in one form or another!!
xoxoxo
-
😂😂😂😂😂💕
Comment from AliMom
I like this point of view better than the other one. I think its more descriptive and lively than the other one I read. I can better imagine the house in Babylon. Is there a way to combine the two? I understand the Amish girl, Rebekkah's, dream and talent better and her lack of training. I also get Rachelle's desire to help her. I found it interesting that you made it the grown-up's job to squash Jayne instead of one of the girls. Was this to keep peace on the journey?
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2024
 |
I like this point of view better than the other one. I think its more descriptive and lively than the other one I read. I can better imagine the house in Babylon. Is there a way to combine the two? I understand the Amish girl, Rebekkah's, dream and talent better and her lack of training. I also get Rachelle's desire to help her. I found it interesting that you made it the grown-up's job to squash Jayne instead of one of the girls. Was this to keep peace on the journey?
Comment Written 09-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2024
-
Ohhhh, AliMom! We must talk. First, this IS a combining of two viewpoints. That's its whole point, in fact: how the two different characters involved view the same situation. And just like the two people themselves, the writing is very different. So although I appreciate your saying that you like all my descriptions, saying you prefer my chapter to Gretchen's - who is a VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE - is totally uncool. She and everyone on this site can read your reviews, you know, so please keep that in mind should you choose to comment on further chapters of mine in the future. I know you're not an unkind person, but this was painful for me to read. Gretchen is actually an AMAZING writer - and prolific. She has SEVEN PUBLISHED BOOKS to her credit (and they're ALL fantastic), whereas I have just one. So who's more impressive now?
Regarding this part of your review:
I found it interesting that you made it the grown-up's job to squash Jayne instead of one of the girls. Was this to keep peace on the journey?
let me clear up the ages here. Rebekah is 16. Maria, who you referred to as "the grown-up," is in her early 40's, Gretchen is in her 50's, I'm in my late 60's, and Jane is in her 70's. So the only "girl" is Rebekah. The rest of us are ALL "grown-ups."
You're assessment of why Gretchen and I didn't say more to Jane so far is spot-on: with Rebekah in the car, we chose to be kind. Now that it's just the three of us, though, all bets are off. It is now Open Season on Jane!!
Thank you for taking the time to review this chapter.
-
I appreciate the explanation. I apologize to anyone who might be offended. You're right, I misread the story and its intent from the word go. Integrating works from multiple authors must be very difficult. What a refreshing idea. I apologize if my critique seemed insulting. It was also helpful to know the ages of the players in this drama. It didn't cme through clearly in the narrative. Thank you for your timely reply.
-
Thank you for this.
Comment from Neonewman
Jane met her match with Maria!-her eyebrows hook together at the bridge of her nose like mating caterpillars. Freaking awesome line, Rachelle. Not sure what mating caterpillars actually look like, but my imagination had me laughing.
Jane was quite upset as you called shotgun, I'm sure.
Loved it!
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2024
|
Jane met her match with Maria!-her eyebrows hook together at the bridge of her nose like mating caterpillars. Freaking awesome line, Rachelle. Not sure what mating caterpillars actually look like, but my imagination had me laughing.
Jane was quite upset as you called shotgun, I'm sure.
Loved it!
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 09-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2024
-
Hahaha. I love your reviews, Steve!! They always make me smile. Thank you for yet another gem. xoxoxo
-
I love reading the two sides of the story you and Gretchen tell. A unique gift.
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a fun and funny get together for the apt student and the excited teacher. The cooling of Jane's heals is also delivered well. I am wondering how the Fanstory Convention will size up.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2024
|
This is a fun and funny get together for the apt student and the excited teacher. The cooling of Jane's heals is also delivered well. I am wondering how the Fanstory Convention will size up.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2024
-
Well, stay tuned...and hold onto your pen!!
Thanks for this wonderful review. Xo
Comment from Y. M. Roger
LOL! Oh, I so needed that smile before heading out the door soon... great visuals of expressions to accompany so much of the dialogue here, Red -- and isn't it wonderful how meeting former students can make our hearts warm even at small encounters? :-) Thanx so much for sharing and congrats on your position for your book! :) Yvette
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2024
|
LOL! Oh, I so needed that smile before heading out the door soon... great visuals of expressions to accompany so much of the dialogue here, Red -- and isn't it wonderful how meeting former students can make our hearts warm even at small encounters? :-) Thanx so much for sharing and congrats on your position for your book! :) Yvette
Comment Written 08-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2024
-
Thanks for the perfect review! I could not love it more. Xoxo
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
"Google Girl" lol
Jane is so obnoxious, I could not put up with her. I love the way, Maria put , Jane on her place.
"I am speaking with my student right now, Madam. Do NOT interrupt me!" bravo!
In Spain we say chocolate bon-bons too.
I worry about, Rebekah staying behind without her friends.
Well done, Rachelle, I love the way you write.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
|
"Google Girl" lol
Jane is so obnoxious, I could not put up with her. I love the way, Maria put , Jane on her place.
"I am speaking with my student right now, Madam. Do NOT interrupt me!" bravo!
In Spain we say chocolate bon-bons too.
I worry about, Rebekah staying behind without her friends.
Well done, Rachelle, I love the way you write.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
-
Because Maria had been my student, and her grandmother had been my teacher, she's the equivalent of family, so for that reason, I'm able to leave her there. Otherwise, for sure, I, too, would be too worried to leave her!
Thank you for this really nice review, Gypsy. xoxo
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Rachelle.
Since I am just back and have not read other installments of this story, I will speak to its quality now. You've accomplished one thing that few riders accomplish in their lives. You know how to show the story, and not just tell the story. Your descriptive narrative is detailed and stimulates the mind of the reader to see those images. You are exceptional at that. While I was reading your words I was seeing the pictures in my mind's eye. That kind of writing is superior to all others.
Congratulations on a fine story and I will continue to follow now that we have Internet back after 11 days of absence.
Robert
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
|
Hello Rachelle.
Since I am just back and have not read other installments of this story, I will speak to its quality now. You've accomplished one thing that few riders accomplish in their lives. You know how to show the story, and not just tell the story. Your descriptive narrative is detailed and stimulates the mind of the reader to see those images. You are exceptional at that. While I was reading your words I was seeing the pictures in my mind's eye. That kind of writing is superior to all others.
Congratulations on a fine story and I will continue to follow now that we have Internet back after 11 days of absence.
Robert
Comment Written 07-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
-
Oy! This is the kind of review every writer longs to have written about her work. The specificity of what "lands" for you is immensely helpful. Thank you most for that. It's great to read. Thank you, too, for always being so gracious and generous with your words. You are such a treasure. Thank you. Xo
-
You're very welcome, Rachelle.
Comment from patcelaw
This story as it is being written by you and Gretchen is moving along quite nicely and I enjoy reading each and every episode of it. I admire the two of you for putting this together the way you have done. May you have a blessed week and may you have a very good day.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
|
This story as it is being written by you and Gretchen is moving along quite nicely and I enjoy reading each and every episode of it. I admire the two of you for putting this together the way you have done. May you have a blessed week and may you have a very good day.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
-
Thank you, Patricia, for keeping with us on this ride. It sounds like you're enjoying it as much as we are!! Xoxo
-
Indeed, I am enjoying the ride with you.