Bee
How they go about their day.5 total reviews
Comment from Nicki.B
Hi Elaine your poem is beautiful about the wonderful bees buy I'm not quite sure whether it fits the prompt? Maybe take another little look. I think the prompt is 3-6-9 syllables not words. Perhaps just check it again I could be wrong! Congratulations on your first post and welcome to Fan Story!
Best Wishes
Nicki
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Hi Elaine your poem is beautiful about the wonderful bees buy I'm not quite sure whether it fits the prompt? Maybe take another little look. I think the prompt is 3-6-9 syllables not words. Perhaps just check it again I could be wrong! Congratulations on your first post and welcome to Fan Story!
Best Wishes
Nicki
Comment Written 06-Nov-2024
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Congrats on your first post! I love how you capture the busy nature of bees in your poem! The idea of them flying into their home honeycomb is so clear. The last line with the stingers makes you pause - oh yeah - there is that! haha You've created a great snapshot of the bees life with just a few words - well done!
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Congrats on your first post! I love how you capture the busy nature of bees in your poem! The idea of them flying into their home honeycomb is so clear. The last line with the stingers makes you pause - oh yeah - there is that! haha You've created a great snapshot of the bees life with just a few words - well done!
Comment Written 06-Nov-2024
Comment from CM Pickard
I liked this, I did however find the second line 'they go into their home honeycomb' a bit clunky, this is because the honeycomb is their home. Maybe try something along the lines of 'making next in golden honeycomb' or 'They go to next in sweet honeycomb.' The last line finishes strong.
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I liked this, I did however find the second line 'they go into their home honeycomb' a bit clunky, this is because the honeycomb is their home. Maybe try something along the lines of 'making next in golden honeycomb' or 'They go to next in sweet honeycomb.' The last line finishes strong.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2024
Comment from kahpot
Bees are wonderful for our environment, you may have to check your syllable count as well as your stanzas as I am sure this 3-6-9 prompt requires 3 stanzas, welcome to FS.****kahpot
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Bees are wonderful for our environment, you may have to check your syllable count as well as your stanzas as I am sure this 3-6-9 prompt requires 3 stanzas, welcome to FS.****kahpot
Comment Written 05-Nov-2024
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Your middle line has 9 syllables, and your last line has 14 syllables? You may have to adjust this to comply with the rules of the contest. I have never heard of bees spreading stingers before. Good luck with the contest and welcome to Fanstory, love Dolly x
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Your middle line has 9 syllables, and your last line has 14 syllables? You may have to adjust this to comply with the rules of the contest. I have never heard of bees spreading stingers before. Good luck with the contest and welcome to Fanstory, love Dolly x
Comment Written 05-Nov-2024
