The Way the Wind Moves
The way the wind move14 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Wind is a great theme for a poem...
Each of your statements are true, yet they don't flow into one another...
Consider one description
"The wind moves like the ocean..."
Then pause a moment and imagine how that would look, feel, sound...
Share YOUR perceptions with us and you will draw us in...
I imagine you standing on shore...
"The wind moves like the ocean...
whirling, swirling through my hair.
Sand shifts and covers my feet...
Seagulls frolic in the air"
Open up...
Let your words take you on a journey.
You have the skill!
Take a leap!
Karenina
  |
Wind is a great theme for a poem...
Each of your statements are true, yet they don't flow into one another...
Consider one description
"The wind moves like the ocean..."
Then pause a moment and imagine how that would look, feel, sound...
Share YOUR perceptions with us and you will draw us in...
I imagine you standing on shore...
"The wind moves like the ocean...
whirling, swirling through my hair.
Sand shifts and covers my feet...
Seagulls frolic in the air"
Open up...
Let your words take you on a journey.
You have the skill!
Take a leap!
Karenina
Comment Written 21-Nov-2024
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hi, Quatae. Welcome to FanStory - I hope you like it here.
Good idea, a poem descriptive of the wind, but I have to say the execution is a little patchy. You have five different similes in your five lines. It may well have been better to pick one comparison and then expand on it.
As well the grammar is all wrong in line 2. It occurred to me that English may not be your first language, in which case, well done for choosing to write poetry in it, something I am well aware is very difficult.
Steve
Steve
 |
Hi, Quatae. Welcome to FanStory - I hope you like it here.
Good idea, a poem descriptive of the wind, but I have to say the execution is a little patchy. You have five different similes in your five lines. It may well have been better to pick one comparison and then expand on it.
As well the grammar is all wrong in line 2. It occurred to me that English may not be your first language, in which case, well done for choosing to write poetry in it, something I am well aware is very difficult.
Steve
Steve
Comment Written 21-Nov-2024
Comment from Janet Foor
The winds moves in so many different ways. I used to live where it blew sideways. The rain and snow never came down- the wind blew them horizontally which was kind of neat.
Interesting read.
Blessings
Janet
A
|
The winds moves in so many different ways. I used to live where it blew sideways. The rain and snow never came down- the wind blew them horizontally which was kind of neat.
Interesting read.
Blessings
Janet
A
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
Comment from Katiemae1977
Yes, I believe the wind moves in lots of different ways
This is an excellent free form poem you have here. I say free form because there's no rhyme or meter.
Thoroughly enjoyed!
Luv&stuff
Katiemae1977
|
Yes, I believe the wind moves in lots of different ways
This is an excellent free form poem you have here. I say free form because there's no rhyme or meter.
Thoroughly enjoyed!
Luv&stuff
Katiemae1977
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
Comment from DonandVicki
We get a lot of wind here in Southern California so I can relate to your poem very well. I think if you could find a photograph of the effects of wind it would complement your poem.
|
We get a lot of wind here in Southern California so I can relate to your poem very well. I think if you could find a photograph of the effects of wind it would complement your poem.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
Comment from Shanbreen
I like the way you have described the movement of the wind. However, as a poem, I find it a bit choppy. Also, I believe there is a typo in the last line -- "moves" instead of "move".
Overall, a good rendition of the way the wind moves. Thanks for sharing.
|
I like the way you have described the movement of the wind. However, as a poem, I find it a bit choppy. Also, I believe there is a typo in the last line -- "moves" instead of "move".
Overall, a good rendition of the way the wind moves. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
Comment from Begin Again
The wind swirls around us in its own magical way and comes in so many ways and directions. Your mind imagined it in different directions, and you made the reader think about it as well. Thank you for sharing,
Smiles, Carol
|
The wind swirls around us in its own magical way and comes in so many ways and directions. Your mind imagined it in different directions, and you made the reader think about it as well. Thank you for sharing,
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
Comment from Brenda Strauser
I enjoyed reading your poem. I like the ways you described the wind. Especially the first phase, tge wind moves like a roadrunner. Very described. Very nice job.
|
I enjoyed reading your poem. I like the ways you described the wind. Especially the first phase, tge wind moves like a roadrunner. Very described. Very nice job.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
Comment from TPAC
The key thought is the wind do move, as you stated it travel slow or fast in its attempted efforts: as high or low pertaining the ground. As stated the wind moves, but why? And where is it going; or coming from are my questions?
|
The key thought is the wind do move, as you stated it travel slow or fast in its attempted efforts: as high or low pertaining the ground. As stated the wind moves, but why? And where is it going; or coming from are my questions?
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
Comment from Aussie
"the wind moves like the ocean." Welcome to fanstory. I think you could have expanded this poem. EG. the wind is pure energy and maybe you could have said, "The wind can be gentle or savage." It can move a lot faster than a roadrunner. I appreciate you are a newbie and we are here to help. Keep the roadrunner out of it, it is fiction and the wind is eternal. Keep writing. K xx
|
"the wind moves like the ocean." Welcome to fanstory. I think you could have expanded this poem. EG. the wind is pure energy and maybe you could have said, "The wind can be gentle or savage." It can move a lot faster than a roadrunner. I appreciate you are a newbie and we are here to help. Keep the roadrunner out of it, it is fiction and the wind is eternal. Keep writing. K xx
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024