The Poets Menagerie
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Crocus"A collection of poems
20 total reviews
Comment from Peter Jarvis
Overall, your poem is a beautifully crafted reflection on the themes of nature's resilience and renewal. The consistent rhyme scheme, vivid imagery, and profound themes make it an engaging and inspiring read. Excellent work in capturing the essence of nature's cyclical beauty through your poetry!
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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Overall, your poem is a beautifully crafted reflection on the themes of nature's resilience and renewal. The consistent rhyme scheme, vivid imagery, and profound themes make it an engaging and inspiring read. Excellent work in capturing the essence of nature's cyclical beauty through your poetry!
Comment Written 07-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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Hi, Peter. Thank you so very much for your review. Your words are amazingly on par. With what's going on in the palm, so great insight! Really glad you liked my poem.And how do you shop then to offer your thoughts?Thank you very much for that and great rating and for your time! I hope your day is amazing!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You managed to write a lovely spring poem without using those words. Which I can imagine wasn't easy. But the way you have written it, shows us what is happening, it doesn't tell us. That in itself is a winner. I see you came second, well done for that. I really enjoyed reading this lovely poem. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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You managed to write a lovely spring poem without using those words. Which I can imagine wasn't easy. But the way you have written it, shows us what is happening, it doesn't tell us. That in itself is a winner. I see you came second, well done for that. I really enjoyed reading this lovely poem. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 07-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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Thank you Sandra for your kind words. Yeah, i'm happy to have received that second place win. I'm very glad you'd like to thank you for your wonderful words! Best of all, is that you enjoyed it. Thank you.Hope you have a best day!
Comment from BermyBye50
Lea,
Congrats on your second-place finish in the Poem for Spring contest. Your magnificent talent shines through brilliantly in this well-written and creative piece. Your artistry in weaving together beautiful metaphors in this wonderful poem is exceptional.
All the best,
Eugene
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2024
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Lea,
Congrats on your second-place finish in the Poem for Spring contest. Your magnificent talent shines through brilliantly in this well-written and creative piece. Your artistry in weaving together beautiful metaphors in this wonderful poem is exceptional.
All the best,
Eugene
Comment Written 06-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2024
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Eugene thank you so much! Yes I enjoyed your poem very much too! A craftsman with words, that's what you are! Thank you again my friend.I appreciate this so very much.I hope you have the best of days!
Comment from GWHARGIS
You made the life cycle of a crocks so exciting. I remember growing up when id ask my mom when spring would start, she would tell me to go check the garden for crocuses. I would check each day, then come racing in to announce how they were poking out of the dirt. This poem took me back. Very enjoyable. Gretchen
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2024
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You made the life cycle of a crocks so exciting. I remember growing up when id ask my mom when spring would start, she would tell me to go check the garden for crocuses. I would check each day, then come racing in to announce how they were poking out of the dirt. This poem took me back. Very enjoyable. Gretchen
Comment Written 06-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2024
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Thank you Gretchen! I'm so glad you liked it! I look for them too over here. It's interesting in the mountains 1 day. It's winter and the next day it's spring.It just explodes that quickly! Thank you again, my friend.I hope you have a most amazing day!
Comment from Neonewman
This is a beautifully crafted piece you have entered for this Spring poem contest. The artwork above pairs nicely and I wish you the best in the voting.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2024
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This is a beautifully crafted piece you have entered for this Spring poem contest. The artwork above pairs nicely and I wish you the best in the voting.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 06-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2024
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Thank you Steve, I actually took the silver on this one! Yay! Thank you for stopping in and reading and offering your awesome comments! Really glad you liked it.Thank you for your well wishes.I hope you have an awesome day!
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Congrats on placing. My pleasure, Lea.
Comment from June Sargent
A beautiful and lyrical entry for the contest! I can picture the tendrils unfurling and reaching for the sun. The life and times of a crocus that becomes two eventually. Lovely imagery.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2024
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A beautiful and lyrical entry for the contest! I can picture the tendrils unfurling and reaching for the sun. The life and times of a crocus that becomes two eventually. Lovely imagery.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much June! Wait hard you liked it thank you! Appreciate your kind words and your fine reading and your time must of all. I hope you have a wonderful day!
Comment from MissMerri
It was fun to read a poem about a flower I love. The crocus is symbolic it its beauty and strength and the blessing it grants to all who pass is wonderful. Your poem is lovely too, I enjoyed the symbolism and the smooth rhyming. Excellent! MM
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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It was fun to read a poem about a flower I love. The crocus is symbolic it its beauty and strength and the blessing it grants to all who pass is wonderful. Your poem is lovely too, I enjoyed the symbolism and the smooth rhyming. Excellent! MM
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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Thank you Merri! I'm glad you enjoyed this mountain crocus poem! Although the crocus behaves the same way wherever it grows later here in the mountains and has brilliant blues and purples. Thanks so much for your time.Review and your great rating.I appreciate it.I hope you're having a great day!
Comment from karenina
Some great original phrasing elevates this -- not being able to use:
"flower, buds, blossoms, rain, new."
was a nice way to s-t-r-e-t-c-h the muse and bring forth gifts like:
"Stretching limbs embraced the light
Shining grape face surreal sight."
Great image, too!
Karenina
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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Some great original phrasing elevates this -- not being able to use:
"flower, buds, blossoms, rain, new."
was a nice way to s-t-r-e-t-c-h the muse and bring forth gifts like:
"Stretching limbs embraced the light
Shining grape face surreal sight."
Great image, too!
Karenina
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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Hello, and thank you. I'm glad you like this.Yes, you're right.There are certainly rules for this contest! I appreciate this in your review very much. I hope that you have the best night. Thanks again!
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You're welcome!
Comment from SimianSavant
Nice picture and presentation. Unfortunately this poem just makes almost no sense in English and has technical issues. The only thing it is successful with is rhyming.
White armed tendril tastes rich soil <= good
Premature winters death coil. <= it rhymes, but it makes no sense at all
Come late for natures brisk call <= makes no sense, and should say "nature's"
Seedless scent, a mighty fall <= makes no sense
Unfurls, unwraps pushed the ice <= makes no sense. What is unwrapping? What pushes ice? Ice is rigid.
Make the break not once but twice <= makes no sense
Stretching limbs embraced the light <= good but you're talking about a crocus which does not have "limbs". It has petals, and leaves.
Shining grape face surreal sight. <= grape?? The color is similar to that of a grape, but there is no other resemblance.
The remaining lines also make little sense.
I would suggest starting over. Read about how the crocus grows. Use the Rhymezone website for better rhyming matches. Write out a rough story without rhyming, in your native language. And then work on translating those concepts.
Good luck and let me know if you revise so I can revisit the rating,
🦍
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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Nice picture and presentation. Unfortunately this poem just makes almost no sense in English and has technical issues. The only thing it is successful with is rhyming.
White armed tendril tastes rich soil <= good
Premature winters death coil. <= it rhymes, but it makes no sense at all
Come late for natures brisk call <= makes no sense, and should say "nature's"
Seedless scent, a mighty fall <= makes no sense
Unfurls, unwraps pushed the ice <= makes no sense. What is unwrapping? What pushes ice? Ice is rigid.
Make the break not once but twice <= makes no sense
Stretching limbs embraced the light <= good but you're talking about a crocus which does not have "limbs". It has petals, and leaves.
Shining grape face surreal sight. <= grape?? The color is similar to that of a grape, but there is no other resemblance.
The remaining lines also make little sense.
I would suggest starting over. Read about how the crocus grows. Use the Rhymezone website for better rhyming matches. Write out a rough story without rhyming, in your native language. And then work on translating those concepts.
Good luck and let me know if you revise so I can revisit the rating,
🦍
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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Wow! You sure gave a lot of thought to my little poem! I believe what you produced is actually longer than what I did!!
I'm curious about whether it was the Simian or the Savant side that created this review.
Thank you for your time.
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I certainly didn't mean to review multiple pieces of one author's works, and this review was blind FYI. Yeah I'm one of the tougher reviewers on the site but I do try to be fair. I'll be happy to provide more detail and examples if that might help you.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this poem for spring writing prompt entry with us. I remember when I was young and my grandma writing to me about the crocus and the jonquils blooming through the last little snow on the ground. This poem brought back memories.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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Thank you for sharing this poem for spring writing prompt entry with us. I remember when I was young and my grandma writing to me about the crocus and the jonquils blooming through the last little snow on the ground. This poem brought back memories.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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Thank you, Barbara, that was kind of you. Thank you for your comments! I appreciate you reading and rating and your time. Hoping that you and yours are well a great evening!
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Thank you, Barbara, that was kind of you. Thank you for your comments! I appreciate you reading and rating and your time. Hoping that you and yours are well a great evening!