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Veil of Secrets

Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Veil of Secrets - Chap 10"
Mystery/Crime and Ghosts

10 total reviews 
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
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Carol.

Good to see you back my friend. This story is coming along. It appears Donatelli has his hands full again chasing bad guys. I hope the lawyer lives.

Well done my friend

Cecilia

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2025

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
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You are remarkable for someone under the weather. I didn't find a single error, although I get so deep into reading the story I could have missed something. Phil was so upset about Althea's son he tried to convince her to call the police, but, of course, she can't. Then Phil is trying to save his own life as he is attacked and some of his papers about Althea were taken. You get well soon, you're in my prayers.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2025

Comment from LJbutterfly
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A lot happens in all of your chapters. Like the others, this chapter is filled with new information and action. You skillfully arouse the emotions of the reader. An example is...Eleanor tells Donnatelli there will be a car accident. As we read an SUV is slamming into Henderson's car, we feel anxious for Donnatelli to arrive. Great writing that generates feelings.

We missed you. I'm glad you're back, but now you have a big mess to straighten out with these characters. Looking forward to reading how you do it.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2025

Comment from Ric Myworld
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This is the perfect example of people willing to do anything to protect their interests, and I mean anything. But I know the writer, and she's never going to let that happen. :-) Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2025


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
    I don't know if it's because the writer has been so sick or if she's just getting old, but I've had second thoughts about this story in the last few days. It has gotten much darker than I intended and now there's no way out but either give it the boot or plod through the mess. Knowing me...I'll keep plodding just because I hate to let the bad guys win. Thanks so much for always being so supportive.
    Hugs, Carol
reply by Ric Myworld on 17-Jan-2025
    LOL. I have no doubt you'll figure a way out of the maze. Your ability to negotiate and alter paths is the key to your successes. :-) Hugs back at you! Ric
Comment from Carol Clark2
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Grayson seems like he's pure evil, having Phil run off the road. I'm glad Eleanor 'saw' the accident and warned Donatelli it was going to happen. This chapter is action-packed. Blessings. Carol

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2025


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
    Thanks so much Carol. I'm having second thoughts about this book because it's gotten far more evil than I had intended and now there's no way out but to finish or give the whole thing the boot. I've been so sick the last few days and now I am so far behind and my brain is friend. Thanks for reading and supporting me.
    Hugs, Carol

    Hope you are feeling better.
reply by Carol Clark2 on 17-Jan-2025
    I'm sorry you've been sick. Prayers for healing and for wisdom about your book.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
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Hello, my friend, I hope you'll feel better soon. I love this chapter, and you managed to keep me on my toes again:) I hope Phil can make it and Althea gets her son back.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2025


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
    Hey, Iza. Nice to see you stopping by and jumpting into the middle of a mess... ghosts and everything. It's been a rough few days but fingers crossed it gets better soon.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from patcelaw
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Your writing is always such a wonderful blessing when I listen to it being read to me. I wish you the very best with your writing. I also wish you a very wonderful weekend and may God bless you. Patricia.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2025

Comment from barbara.wilkey
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Thank you for sharing this with us. I am guessing DeLuca is involved all of this, but I do believe that only scratches the surface. Matthew better keep Rebecca under lock and key.

but he didn't put much stock into it until he confronted him/ Even then, he dismissed him as a (him. Even)

"Damn it," he muttered, his gaze darting to the fading taillights of the fleeing vehicles.
He could hear the approach of more sirens, but he wasn't waiting. "Sorry, DeLuca. Gotta learn to drive faster." (This confused me. I wasn't sure who said it or did two people say it?)

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2025


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
    DeLuca, the other detective, was following in his own car. It was meant to be Donatelli muttering to himself why he couldn't wait for him.... the only person at the scene besides Phil in the car is Donatelli. I take it that it didn't come out very clear.
reply by barbara.wilkey on 17-Jan-2025
    I didn't get that, maybe it's just me.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
    I'll look at it again...I want to make sure it is clear. Thanks!
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
    Does this make it any clearer....."Damn it," he muttered, his gaze darting to the fading taillights of the fleeing vehicles and then to the tracks of Phil's car before it went over the cliff. He could hear the approach of more sirens, but he wasn't waiting for the others. "Sorry, DeLuca. You gotta learn to drive faster if you want to keep up with me."
Comment from Tim Margetts
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Your proofing is forgiven, a sick bed is no place to decide if a comma or a full stop belongs in this place or that.
This is an excellent Chapter, Carol.
Get better and keep writing.
Tim x

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2025


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
    Thanks, Tim. I am struggling to write the short story now, but I think that will be it for me. I am so far behind on reviews it's not funny...but it can't be helped. Appreciate the support.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
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Phil can't die!!! At least the killers/theives left some papers with Anthea's name on it, so Matthew will hopefully understand what this is about now. And Eleanor heard the conversation between Grayson and Anthea, that will also add strength to what they know. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter, but please don't do anything until you are recovered. Now I know why you went missing, I'll understand if you don't feel like writing for a while. Love you lots, dear friend. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2025


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2025
    Thanks, Sandra...You are the best! Never fear! The "trojan" in me insists that I get out of bed and do what needs to be done. Already instacarted groceries for my upcoming house guest and posted this story plus a few reviews...so that means I am on the mend. Thanks again for checking... I so appreciate it. I am going to attempt another post, but we will see.
    Love ya, Carol