Precious Gems: An Anthology
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Carved in Stone"A Rhyming Collection of Treasured Works
21 total reviews
Comment from joan marie
I have no children of my own, but have been privileged to live with a friend with a 7 year old son. I got very attached. I was right there even though I was the one who left I could feel your longing. I could feel the strong emotion you carry in your heart for this child. I have been blessed again by my neighbors 2 adopted preteen girls. Have been able to teach them how to slap the lake water to attract the turtles. Who now eat right out of their hands. That is the closest I've been to feeling the joy a parent must feel. Very poignant write. Must have been difficult. I read beautifully as I spoke your words aloud. Even if you don't see him again. You gave him part of your heart when no one else seemed to be. Terrific artwork and word imagery. joan marie
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2008
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I have no children of my own, but have been privileged to live with a friend with a 7 year old son. I got very attached. I was right there even though I was the one who left I could feel your longing. I could feel the strong emotion you carry in your heart for this child. I have been blessed again by my neighbors 2 adopted preteen girls. Have been able to teach them how to slap the lake water to attract the turtles. Who now eat right out of their hands. That is the closest I've been to feeling the joy a parent must feel. Very poignant write. Must have been difficult. I read beautifully as I spoke your words aloud. Even if you don't see him again. You gave him part of your heart when no one else seemed to be. Terrific artwork and word imagery. joan marie
Comment Written 11-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2008
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I'm so glad you liked this one joan marie. Hopefully he'll realise one day how much he was cared for, but it's almost impossible to convince a teenager of this when they're young and a bit arrogant! Time will tell. I just have to trust that we've done the best job we could with him, and continue doing the best job with our daughter. I appreciate your comments and you know what? We're not all meant to be parents. We need people in the world who can't have children, or choose not to have them, to be with our children when we can't be. It's people like you who often give those children a safehouse when home can't cater for them, or when they want someone to be with or talk to that isn't their biased parent. So, in your own way, you are a surrogate parent (or aunty) which is a very valuable role to play in any child's life. Good on you and always remember how important your influence can be on a child; sometimes more so than their parents xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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I had cancer at 25. Had bad attitude for a long time. Then I realized I was missing out. The adopted girls next door are great. I taught them how to make birthday cards for their new mom. They wrote the verse and picked the fonts and borders. All I did was add pictures of them inside the cards. It felt great to be able to give some small thing to them. Their real mom is in prison. So they are very lucky this wonderful woman adopted them. We feed the turtles together. I showed them how to slap the water to attract them . Now the girls get right in the lake and the turtles (10) swim around their legs waiting for the crackers. I never realized how precious the gift of having a child was. One last thought, I was left on a street corner by my dad when I was 15. He didn't come back. I think I posted Abandoned. I made it. Have faith if I could he can. Love and prayers. joan marie
Comment from storymama
This poem is so heartfelt. I assume you are talking about your foster child? It is the hardest thing in the world. You cannot help but love the child and want to help their hurts, see them open up and give them what they need emotionally to deal with whatever else life deals them. But when the powers that be move them on all you can do is pray for them and wonder if you have done enough. I think this poem is wonderful. God bless.
reply by the author on 13-May-2008
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This poem is so heartfelt. I assume you are talking about your foster child? It is the hardest thing in the world. You cannot help but love the child and want to help their hurts, see them open up and give them what they need emotionally to deal with whatever else life deals them. But when the powers that be move them on all you can do is pray for them and wonder if you have done enough. I think this poem is wonderful. God bless.
Comment Written 13-May-2008
reply by the author on 13-May-2008
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What you've said in your review is all that I know is true. He is my foster child, and will soon leave us to go out in the big bad world (he's almost 17). Almost 4 years we've had with him and the ups and downs have been worth it. I'll always carry your words with me, as you've echoed what, as said, I know is true.
And thank you so much for a wonderful review of this poem. xoxoxoxo
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Can't he stay until he is 18? I am going to pray for you, your family and him. Thank you for getting back to me. God bless you. Laura
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Well, we've suggested that we'd rather he did, but as we live in a small town, he'll probably only be able to get a job 100kms away, so it makes sense for him to move in with his friends. But if one doesn't consider practicalities, I feel he'd be better off to stay with us for another year. We'll have to cross that bridge when it arrives.
Thank you so much for your concern. I do appreciate it. Sometimes doing this can be a lonely ride...
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I'll pray for the best for all of you. I really respect you for taking him in for this long. It has to have been good for him to have a stable home for so long.
Comment from bkrighter
God bless you for what you have given to this young man, and I am certain that, although he remains in his "safe room" with icy walls of stone, there is a part of him that knows what you have given him. I hope, I pray that some day he will be able to tell you that.
Your writing conveys the depth of your feelings and concern for this young man. I can feel them; on that level the poem succeeds. I hope that it has also succeeded in meeting the need that compelled you to write it.
Steve
reply by the author on 12-May-2008
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God bless you for what you have given to this young man, and I am certain that, although he remains in his "safe room" with icy walls of stone, there is a part of him that knows what you have given him. I hope, I pray that some day he will be able to tell you that.
Your writing conveys the depth of your feelings and concern for this young man. I can feel them; on that level the poem succeeds. I hope that it has also succeeded in meeting the need that compelled you to write it.
Steve
Comment Written 12-May-2008
reply by the author on 12-May-2008
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God bless your words bkrighter. I think maybe, he's getting there. But I feel that patience will win out here. I have to remember that sometimes as grown ups do things, and without realising it, expect the world in return, and right bloody now! Maybe this is what I'm doing a bit of here, but, can't help it. I just worry for him.
But it's heartening to read such thoughtful sentiment as that contained in this review. I'm privileged to read this from you. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart! xoxoxo
Comment from bard owl
This is riveting. I could say that I felt the pain you were feeling for this child because every word in this piece is meaningful. The rhyme and rhythm are flawless and the imagery is amazing. I can see this boys beautiful blue eyes hiding his feelings. It is such a shame he may not realize until it's too late what a wonderful love you offered. This poem is exceptional. God bless you and your kind and generous heart. Linda xoxo
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
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This is riveting. I could say that I felt the pain you were feeling for this child because every word in this piece is meaningful. The rhyme and rhythm are flawless and the imagery is amazing. I can see this boys beautiful blue eyes hiding his feelings. It is such a shame he may not realize until it's too late what a wonderful love you offered. This poem is exceptional. God bless you and your kind and generous heart. Linda xoxo
Comment Written 28-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
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To repeat myself after pm, bless you and your kindness. xoxoxo
Comment from Wendyanne
Wow alpaca what a very powerful piece of well written poetry which incorporates the artwork very well. You have done your best for this person and that's all that you can do. Good luck.
PS. I'm sick of seeing this piece of artwork lol
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2008
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Wow alpaca what a very powerful piece of well written poetry which incorporates the artwork very well. You have done your best for this person and that's all that you can do. Good luck.
PS. I'm sick of seeing this piece of artwork lol
Comment Written 27-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2008
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Well, thanks so much Wendyanne! And you know, I tend to agree a bit about the pic! It's such a despairing sight, and I think those of us who've entered have taken the despairing line so much that something light and cheerful is now needed...Thanks again for a great review! xoxoxo
Comment from rama devi
Thank you for sharing this outstanding, deep, honest, emotional write that is also very well crafted. It is the first poem of these contest entries that i've read which is so immediately personal.
You have mature writing style that incorporates apt metaphor in well timed and rhymed verse. The sincerity in this poem and in your love for this child comes across boldly. It is an inspiring write as it silently echos a voice of compassion in between the lines. Unconditional love is an exalted love. You are lucky to have it, even though it gives you pain.
Pain and purity often go hand in hand, believe it or not.
These times of raw emotion shown are precious but oh, so few
in this line you reveal a deep wisdom.
But i select this line also to critique. I think the melody of the line would improve by removing the "oh" before 'so few'.
Otherwise, i would not suggest any tweaking.
This poem is beautiful - sad and inspiring.
My prayers are there for your boy an for you. I think he can sense your love and perhaps he is unconsciously afraid he does not deserve it or that love will hurt him if he lets himself be tender.
Warm regards,
rama devi
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2008
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Thank you for sharing this outstanding, deep, honest, emotional write that is also very well crafted. It is the first poem of these contest entries that i've read which is so immediately personal.
You have mature writing style that incorporates apt metaphor in well timed and rhymed verse. The sincerity in this poem and in your love for this child comes across boldly. It is an inspiring write as it silently echos a voice of compassion in between the lines. Unconditional love is an exalted love. You are lucky to have it, even though it gives you pain.
Pain and purity often go hand in hand, believe it or not.
These times of raw emotion shown are precious but oh, so few
in this line you reveal a deep wisdom.
But i select this line also to critique. I think the melody of the line would improve by removing the "oh" before 'so few'.
Otherwise, i would not suggest any tweaking.
This poem is beautiful - sad and inspiring.
My prayers are there for your boy an for you. I think he can sense your love and perhaps he is unconsciously afraid he does not deserve it or that love will hurt him if he lets himself be tender.
Warm regards,
rama devi
Comment Written 27-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2008
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A wonderful review, and one that's obvious how much time and thought you've put into it. I appreciate your suggestion, and your closing cmments. You're probably right, but time will tell. I just hope I've the patience to wait until he's in his 40's or 50's coz I think that's how long it may be until he settles down and learns to give and accept love properly...
Thank you once again for such a thoughtful, inspiring review. Excellent, and I'd award a 6 if reviews could be rated...xoxoxo
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thank you dear lady for your arm response and kind nomination. i do appreciate your deep appreciation and also your compassionate heart. It is not easy to raise a stranger's child a you won. But to do so brings Grace to you. I will rad more fo your poems soon.
xx((O))xx
Blessings and hugs,
rama devi
Comment from earthlybeing
I love this poem. It is filled with such emotion. The words paint a picture of his appearance and his how he is... but also of a lost soul and someone trying to reach him with love. It must be diffucult for you... to know he will go.
I raised a step son.. actually he came to live with me before me and his dad were actually an item. Then his dad would come over and we did family things. After a while we did become that family.
But I still hurts me that he never became close to me even if I tried. I love him as a son.
God will help you through this. I will pray that he will be safe and accepts your love. Thanks, Jeanette
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2008
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I love this poem. It is filled with such emotion. The words paint a picture of his appearance and his how he is... but also of a lost soul and someone trying to reach him with love. It must be diffucult for you... to know he will go.
I raised a step son.. actually he came to live with me before me and his dad were actually an item. Then his dad would come over and we did family things. After a while we did become that family.
But I still hurts me that he never became close to me even if I tried. I love him as a son.
God will help you through this. I will pray that he will be safe and accepts your love. Thanks, Jeanette
Comment Written 27-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2008
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Have already replied in pm, but i'll say it again: Thank you so very much, and may God bless you and yours from this day forward - you're a sweetie. xoxoxo
Comment from BarnCat
You are a very brave woman, and an excellent poet. To relate such painful feelings in iambic pentameter and with a rhyme scheme to boot takes talent -- which you have in abundance. There were so many lines that touched me (I've been in your shoes for a brief time), but your framing lines, "I can never hope to change / this thing now carved in stone" is so truthful and accurate -- and sad. Some wings are just too broken that even after a time of rest and healing, the bird simply no longer believes he can soar, and is content to simply fly away. But, he is, after all, a teenager, and it is my hope for both of you that he will find his way home again. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. DBL
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2008
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You are a very brave woman, and an excellent poet. To relate such painful feelings in iambic pentameter and with a rhyme scheme to boot takes talent -- which you have in abundance. There were so many lines that touched me (I've been in your shoes for a brief time), but your framing lines, "I can never hope to change / this thing now carved in stone" is so truthful and accurate -- and sad. Some wings are just too broken that even after a time of rest and healing, the bird simply no longer believes he can soar, and is content to simply fly away. But, he is, after all, a teenager, and it is my hope for both of you that he will find his way home again. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. DBL
Comment Written 25-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2008
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I thank you very warmly for this wonderful review BarnCat. While most of the time I'm sure he'll be fine, it's those times when he 'explodes' that I worry about how he'll handle the emotional challenges life's sure to throw at him. And if he's out in the world, who will he turn to? Can only wait and see once this does happen. Again, thank you so much! xoxoxo
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Alpacalady -- I am sure he will turn to you because you have shown him that he can turn to you. How he handles the challenges, well, to paraphrase Maya Angelou: He'll do the best he knows how. When he knows better, he will do better. We want to protect them -- often from themselves -- I guess the best we can do is the best we can do. Sometimes they surprise us. DBL
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So right BarnCat. So very right. When one thinks of it in those terms, it's easier to do it! Thanks again for insightful and hopeful words! xoxoxo
Comment from Godfrey
alpacalady I would say first, that you've done everything that your heart could do. This is touching, well written, well composed and very thought provoking. Thank you very much for sharing. I will think about your verse long after this review. G
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2008
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alpacalady I would say first, that you've done everything that your heart could do. This is touching, well written, well composed and very thought provoking. Thank you very much for sharing. I will think about your verse long after this review. G
Comment Written 24-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2008
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And thank you Godfrey for such a heartfelt, lovely review. I do feel I/we've done all that we can do. It's a difficult age he's at now, and I guess we have to step back when the time comes and let him go his own way. As poem says, this won't be far off. It's a waiting game. Thank you once again! xoxoxo
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Best wishes & you are most welcome for the review. G
Comment from ravenshadowwinds
I absolutely love t his poem. I have loved a few other people's children and I can relate to the pain when they have to leave, only in my case, the children stayed in place and I had to leave. You dont have to use the womb to carry a child in your heart.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2008
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I absolutely love t his poem. I have loved a few other people's children and I can relate to the pain when they have to leave, only in my case, the children stayed in place and I had to leave. You dont have to use the womb to carry a child in your heart.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2008
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It does seem to hurt that bit more when it's someone else's child! I let four go a few years ago when their parents (who were dear friends of mine) went interstate and I thought my heart would break. It's a whole new ballgame this loving someone else's child. Thank you so much raven for such a wonderful and thoughtful review. xoxxoo