Reviews from

Writings From the Heart

Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Your turn with the Soap"
A book of Poetry & Writing

128 total reviews 
Comment from José Ángel


 
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It's a beautiful, fluid and rhythmic poem, where there is obvious the inspiration that existed in this one and was very well canalized... excellent job, congratulations. hugs.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
    Thank you Joango for reading this
Comment from Kathy58
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This is a very beautiful and inspirational poem you have written here. Your words flow like a winding river and the rhythym and rhyme sings out to me. I am going to book-case this one for sure. It has given me so much to ponder about unspoken words. Great poem, Kathy58

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
    thank you Kathy for your review and comments
Comment from sadnessbringer
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Your poem had a really good flow and rhythm, i enjoyed the imagery you gave.

What is it for adults, to wash away tears and pain we hide?
that is and execellent line, and added to the poem.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
    thank you for your review and comments Gary
Comment from jason456
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I really enjoyed your well written and meaningful poem. When I was young and even as a young adult, I don't think I ever really felt I was able to say in a kind way how I really felt because of fear of being disliked or whatever, until I became over the age of 40. I then felt I had the knowledge and experiencce to express my true feelings in a kind way when I needed to. Wish I had learned that lesson earlier.
Patti :)

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
    thank you Jason for this review
reply by jason456 on 22-Jun-2010
    It was my pleasure. Patti :)
    Note: Jason is my pen name
Comment from Black-Saphire
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good job, i really liked this. I would have to say my favorite lines were:
Your life in time revolves around the words that are not spoken.
From day to day you think, then say of things expected.

I liked this a lot: it was ful of truth, passion, and emotion. great job.
-Jade

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2010
    thank you Jade for this review
reply by Black-Saphire on 19-Jun-2010
    yes, your welcome... if you have time i would like to hear any thoughts/tips on my latest post: Blame..
    -Jade
Comment from Chuck23
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I believe we are all Gods children! I enjoyed the idea, as well as your philosophy that shined in this poem. Well written! I think the picture enhanced your poem beautifully!

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2010
    thank you again for the review
Comment from KC Frantzen
Excellent
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Super interesting how you wove the ideas.
Good rhythm to it as well.
GREAT photo!
Makes you wonder if anyone uses soap in that fashion any more. I was the recipient of that punishment once... and only once!
Keep writing!
I've been away from FS for awhile. Good to be back seeing what everyone's up to! If you have time and inclination, stop by and see my post today. It's about one of the character's in my middle grade novel.

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2010
    thank you again for the review
Comment from BlackVelvet
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you ask a lot of good questions. ufortunately good questions often have no answers. I liked the straight forward manner in which this was written. good job

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2010
    thank you Black Velvet for this review
Comment from RebelRose
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Great poem containing a lot of truth. If all the adults of today had their mouths washed out with soap, Proctor and Gamble would have to work overtime manufacturing enough soap, LOL. I remember growing up, that's what my Mama did to us if we lied or said "bad words".

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2010
    lol Rose and thanks for the review
Comment from Just2Write
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I liked the message of this free verse/prose. However there is much tidying up to do:

Your life[,] in time revolves around the words that are not spoken.

From day to day you think, then say [speak] of things expected. [Syntax? From day to day you think, then say unexpected things.)

Only feeding from the comments[,] of this conversation at hand (remove comma)

Not knowing where it's leading, like a duck paddling from land. (I liked this thought - Bravo.)

How would you answer, no with yes? And regret the lie to please? (syntax) Suggestion: How would you answer? A yes in place of a no?

White lies, Big [big] lies, Small [smal] lies, Untrue, [untrue] (No caps for these words. New sentence: Where will this all lead?

We live our lives so guarded to please our partners [partner's] wish,

Do we hide the worry and stress[,] not having the perfect day,
We are told , [spacing - We are told, ] we are all Gods' [God's] children,[.] [period] is [Is] that a lie or true?


 Comment Written 19-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2010
    thanks for the review and comments