Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Interlude: What Came Before"An extended story in poem form
19 total reviews
Comment from shy1250
Once again, 5 really 6. "Lonesome's shallow breath" and "the final misanthrope" are my faves here. I'm running out of compliments, quite honestly. What would you say to Shakespeare, Lord Byron, even Robert Frost? I lack the skill to know, outside of what your poetry shows would play at the theatres for years before it even made pay for play. later and God bless, shy
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Once again, 5 really 6. "Lonesome's shallow breath" and "the final misanthrope" are my faves here. I'm running out of compliments, quite honestly. What would you say to Shakespeare, Lord Byron, even Robert Frost? I lack the skill to know, outside of what your poetry shows would play at the theatres for years before it even made pay for play. later and God bless, shy
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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I love the word 'misanthrope' - not only does it carry great power, it rolls gloriously from the mind's tongue when placed right in a line of poetry. I hadn;t decided yet what would happen next for this chapter, so I went back and filled in more detail about the origins of the status quo.
Mike
Comment from MyYiaYia
Gosh I love this poem. I think it is so very well written and keeps me on the edge of my seat. I believe you have yourself a winner here when all is said and done. Please don't give up the ghost when you come to the end. Let it be as good ending as it is beginning. Deb
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2010
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Gosh I love this poem. I think it is so very well written and keeps me on the edge of my seat. I believe you have yourself a winner here when all is said and done. Please don't give up the ghost when you come to the end. Let it be as good ending as it is beginning. Deb
Comment Written 19-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2010
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Thanks, Deb. I certainly intend to end it strong, and I have a couple of possibilities in mind, one of which is very dark but possibly more meaningful. We shall see!
Mike
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I am not ready for it to end yet, but I am waiting with bated breath for the final stand. Deb
Comment from findingmyroom
Another marvelous installment in your saga, Mike. I like the reference to Atlas; classical tidbits always add a bit of depth and sophistication to writing, I believe.
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Another marvelous installment in your saga, Mike. I like the reference to Atlas; classical tidbits always add a bit of depth and sophistication to writing, I believe.
Comment Written 20-May-2010
Comment from Judian James
"The burrows of the deepest trains
had kept me in their clasp,
as though the day had 'come a sword,
the night my hasp to grasp." Great addition to the book Mike. Your rhyming and meter are always superb. I do think I might reconsider the three verses in a row toward the end that all have "ee" rhyming. It destracts a bit.
I think I'd keep destiny, century and responsibility ... choose two, get them into the one verse and then go for another end rhyme for the other two verses. If I ran the zoo, that's what I would do! excellent Mike, as always
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"The burrows of the deepest trains
had kept me in their clasp,
as though the day had 'come a sword,
the night my hasp to grasp." Great addition to the book Mike. Your rhyming and meter are always superb. I do think I might reconsider the three verses in a row toward the end that all have "ee" rhyming. It destracts a bit.
I think I'd keep destiny, century and responsibility ... choose two, get them into the one verse and then go for another end rhyme for the other two verses. If I ran the zoo, that's what I would do! excellent Mike, as always
Comment Written 12-May-2010
Comment from adewpearl
I heaved a gulp of poison's air - a line that packs a punch
I like your "prequel" section, Mike - I imagine the initial shock of surviving such catastrophic disaster has to be grave, and you capture that well here. When he still thinks he is all alone, that Atlas handed him the responsibility of carrying the weight of the world - an extremely effective image. Brooke
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I heaved a gulp of poison's air - a line that packs a punch
I like your "prequel" section, Mike - I imagine the initial shock of surviving such catastrophic disaster has to be grave, and you capture that well here. When he still thinks he is all alone, that Atlas handed him the responsibility of carrying the weight of the world - an extremely effective image. Brooke
Comment Written 11-May-2010
Comment from Hitcher
You have penned the demise... The end of men by their own hand so well Mike, I'm one who believes it will happen just like that;
He rode a steed of good intent
upon a path of hope
but paved inferno's flaming road;
the final misanthrope.
I loved it mate, you continued where you left off friend...kicking ass! :)
Just checked: Finally! I can six you up! ha ha Brilliant and inspired writing...
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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You have penned the demise... The end of men by their own hand so well Mike, I'm one who believes it will happen just like that;
He rode a steed of good intent
upon a path of hope
but paved inferno's flaming road;
the final misanthrope.
I loved it mate, you continued where you left off friend...kicking ass! :)
Just checked: Finally! I can six you up! ha ha Brilliant and inspired writing...
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Thanks, Hitch! I'm really gonna have to start work on part two soon; I've been extremely busy at work and home recently, so writing's been a struggle. I still get my train journeys though; poetry will out! haha :-)
Mike
Comment from sgalletti
Terrific flash back Mike which helps readers like me follow the wanderings. Wish I had a six to give you my friend! I'm sending you a virtual one instead. I especially loved the lines:
"I walked for weeks before the pang
of hunger halted me,
the air alive with nourishment;
extended destiny. "
Hugs, Sue
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Terrific flash back Mike which helps readers like me follow the wanderings. Wish I had a six to give you my friend! I'm sending you a virtual one instead. I especially loved the lines:
"I walked for weeks before the pang
of hunger halted me,
the air alive with nourishment;
extended destiny. "
Hugs, Sue
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Aww, I'll take text hugs over a sixer any day, Sue :-). I've caught up with what I'd written now; I've been so darned busy at work and then my fiance isn;t well at home, so I've had no chance to write anything except my biographical story for the movie contest, which I've scribbled during my daily train journeys!
Thank you for the wonderful review :-)
Mike
Comment from Mary Faucheux
Deep, intense, intriguing all come to mind. It's seems a fair analysis of what man has done and continues to do. Thought provoking. Mary
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Deep, intense, intriguing all come to mind. It's seems a fair analysis of what man has done and continues to do. Thought provoking. Mary
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Thank you, Mary, I'm flattered you think my work is so worthy, and bowled over by your wonderful review :-)
Mike
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Mike,
Interesting.
Good rhymes.
I like the image and visual presentation.
Flows well.
Interesting story.
I like the first and last stanzas the best.
Kathryn
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Mike,
Interesting.
Good rhymes.
I like the image and visual presentation.
Flows well.
Interesting story.
I like the first and last stanzas the best.
Kathryn
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Thank you, Kathryn :-). I'll start work on part two shortly! I'm so glad you;re continuing to enjoy the saga.
Mike
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Mike,
You're welcome.
kathryn
Comment from Loyd C. Taylor, Sr
Hello poetfriend Mike and a very good Monday morning to you. Man, you have such colorful language and great imagery, reveals your style and tells the beginning of your story. I enjoyed.
I hope you have a wonderful week, Loyd
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Hello poetfriend Mike and a very good Monday morning to you. Man, you have such colorful language and great imagery, reveals your style and tells the beginning of your story. I enjoyed.
I hope you have a wonderful week, Loyd
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Thank you, Loyd. You know how to make me feel good about myself!
Mike
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That's great and you are welcome, Loyd