The Temptation
ancient forces at work46 total reviews
Comment from michaelcindy
Very interesting. I read it several times to gleam the meaning. I like the line "Vanity is thy name" you are quite descriptive which is fantastic. Hope to read more .Thank you
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2010
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Very interesting. I read it several times to gleam the meaning. I like the line "Vanity is thy name" you are quite descriptive which is fantastic. Hope to read more .Thank you
Comment Written 09-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2010
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Thank you, Michael.
Comment from Amicus
Interesting poem...rhythmic, satiric, and funny as hell...as always, the archaic poeticisms you so love I could do without but this time due to the over the top hilarious nature of the piece you are off the hook. After all who could resist the joy of reading "wilt" in a poem where a protruding port is so dominant?
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2010
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Interesting poem...rhythmic, satiric, and funny as hell...as always, the archaic poeticisms you so love I could do without but this time due to the over the top hilarious nature of the piece you are off the hook. After all who could resist the joy of reading "wilt" in a poem where a protruding port is so dominant?
Comment Written 09-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2010
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Now that's the kind of attitude I'm looking for! Thanks, Amicus.
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Ah, the process of wilting is so oft overlooked.
Comment from Leigh Ann
This was different, and it kept my interest to the end because I wanted to see how it ended. Didn't fully understand what was being protrayed here. It felt like a tug of war between the male and female ego to see who was truly in control. Well, that's what I got out of it. Leigh Ann
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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This was different, and it kept my interest to the end because I wanted to see how it ended. Didn't fully understand what was being protrayed here. It felt like a tug of war between the male and female ego to see who was truly in control. Well, that's what I got out of it. Leigh Ann
Comment Written 09-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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That's pretty close my dear. Thank you.
Comment from Rain Chapman
Very cool! The whole thing is very Victor Von Doomish, I think you captured him well. (down to the evil laugh! lol) I love the dramatic feel to the whole piece, excellent work.
Rain :^)
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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Very cool! The whole thing is very Victor Von Doomish, I think you captured him well. (down to the evil laugh! lol) I love the dramatic feel to the whole piece, excellent work.
Rain :^)
Comment Written 09-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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Thank you very much Rain.
Comment from FredCollingwood
I love the ending:
Your eternal Master
Victor von Doom
When reading this, I was reminded of a saying, "If you're gonna piss someone off, make sure it's really worth it."
Great story throughout.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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I love the ending:
Your eternal Master
Victor von Doom
When reading this, I was reminded of a saying, "If you're gonna piss someone off, make sure it's really worth it."
Great story throughout.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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Ha ha. Thank you Fred.
Comment from Hundred
Wow, now words can describe how outstanding your work is. I only wish that I can write as half as good as you. The man talking to the female demon as she feeds on him, in all the horror I have ever read I have never encountered that I it was great, it was like I was there witnessing the conversation. Truly outstanding.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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Wow, now words can describe how outstanding your work is. I only wish that I can write as half as good as you. The man talking to the female demon as she feeds on him, in all the horror I have ever read I have never encountered that I it was great, it was like I was there witnessing the conversation. Truly outstanding.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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Thank you so much.
Comment from EarthenImage
Interesting choice of words. You convey the power that you see yourself holding, as well as the passion it stirs. I don't care for the laughter spelled out in ha ha ha but that is just personal preference.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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Interesting choice of words. You convey the power that you see yourself holding, as well as the passion it stirs. I don't care for the laughter spelled out in ha ha ha but that is just personal preference.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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Thank you my dear.
Comment from Dan103085
Nice job. A great, thought provoking little tale. The style was interesting, more like free verse poetry than a short story, but it worked. I found no typos and enjoyed the imagery and details. Well done.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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Nice job. A great, thought provoking little tale. The style was interesting, more like free verse poetry than a short story, but it worked. I found no typos and enjoyed the imagery and details. Well done.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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Thank you Dan.
Comment from fishcantswim
I guess the moral lesson is if your are going to harm someone makes sure they can never recover to redo the harm to you; or what goes around comes around, only a mite faster and harder.
A warning to us all either way.
Only bit I don't get is the word "devine", although you explain it a bit, I don't understand the word, but I think that's my problem, not yours.
Overall an enjoyable read and no suggestions.
Thanks for writing.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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I guess the moral lesson is if your are going to harm someone makes sure they can never recover to redo the harm to you; or what goes around comes around, only a mite faster and harder.
A warning to us all either way.
Only bit I don't get is the word "devine", although you explain it a bit, I don't understand the word, but I think that's my problem, not yours.
Overall an enjoyable read and no suggestions.
Thanks for writing.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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Thanks fish learning to swim. lol
Comment from Monte Carbolic
I love the flow of this piece and the "ye olde" language used was also very fitting. The only thing that threw me off about this piece was how you classified it. It says this is prose, but it reads more like poetry. You might want to think about changing the classification.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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I love the flow of this piece and the "ye olde" language used was also very fitting. The only thing that threw me off about this piece was how you classified it. It says this is prose, but it reads more like poetry. You might want to think about changing the classification.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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Other peolpe found it to read like poetry also. I guess actually I should take it as a compliment. So I will. lol