Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "From Black Depths, Light Abounds"An extended story in poem form
10 total reviews
Comment from pickthorn
I read the final chapter just before reading this one and both are equally as impressive. This is excellent poetry and flows so naturally that one forgets it is poetry and not a very moving novel. I see no revisions that are needed.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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I read the final chapter just before reading this one and both are equally as impressive. This is excellent poetry and flows so naturally that one forgets it is poetry and not a very moving novel. I see no revisions that are needed.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Pickthorn :-). I'm so glad you went back to read earlier bits, especially chapter nine, which was under-read compared to this rest of the book (my fault; couldn't afford to promote much at the time). So glad you enjoyed this chapter!
Mike
Comment from shy1250
Hip, hip, hooray!! So afraid you were going to leave there quietly, allowing their murderous madness to reign and increase. Last 2 lines my fave. Going to reread conclusion now that I've read what came up before. Words really can't express how goood this is. later and God bless, shy
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Hip, hip, hooray!! So afraid you were going to leave there quietly, allowing their murderous madness to reign and increase. Last 2 lines my fave. Going to reread conclusion now that I've read what came up before. Words really can't express how goood this is. later and God bless, shy
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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I am a guy after all, and who can resist a really big explosion?! Of course, it's more about the purging properties of fire, and the motif of the oil and the light etc etc, I know I don't need to explain my thinking to you :-). I'm so thrilled to have shared your journey through my series with you! Thank you so much for your words :-)
Mike
Comment from Hitcher
As always mate;VERY IMPRESSIVE!
You know how to hold your readers captive, they hang off your every word, because your story telling is, exciting, dark, explosive and pulls at the heart strings when you so choose to do so, it's an awesome addition to the story mate, loved it! Sorry can't six you, you've already had your fill, ha ha
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2010
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As always mate;VERY IMPRESSIVE!
You know how to hold your readers captive, they hang off your every word, because your story telling is, exciting, dark, explosive and pulls at the heart strings when you so choose to do so, it's an awesome addition to the story mate, loved it! Sorry can't six you, you've already had your fill, ha ha
Comment Written 21-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2010
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There was only so long I could go before having a huge explosion in the story! lol, cheers Hitch. I'm so glad you're still enjoying it, mate. I thought this was a suitable mini-apocalypse with which to approach the story's conclusion.
Mike
Comment from patmedium
I am so pleased with this tale you have brought us, Mike. From that first offering which felt so STRONG, we have followed this futuristic path you led us on. This is a unique tale and I await the conclusion with interest. Pat. xxx
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2010
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I am so pleased with this tale you have brought us, Mike. From that first offering which felt so STRONG, we have followed this futuristic path you led us on. This is a unique tale and I await the conclusion with interest. Pat. xxx
Comment Written 20-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2010
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Thank you, Pat. I'm busy working on the last chapter. I'm determined to get it right! It's been brilliant to have people following the story; always a good way to keep up my enthusiasm :-)
Mike
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Well, you've got Hitcher, Sasha, RD and Brooke! What more could you ask for? That first one was so very stunning, I can STILL feel its impact months later! I remember talking to you about bleak, dark photographs. Excellent. Now, let's see if you can give the last one all the impact of the first! I have every confidence that you will do that, Mike. You have a stunning 'vision'. Pat. xxx
Comment from krdeering
Wow--not sure what kind of epic thing I have come upon this late, but it certainly flows well.
The only stanza that gives me pause is this one, where the reader must readjust footing and ponder a little harder:
I rummaged through my carry-sack
with need fuelling my stare
until I found combustion's birth
adorned within a flare.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2010
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Wow--not sure what kind of epic thing I have come upon this late, but it certainly flows well.
The only stanza that gives me pause is this one, where the reader must readjust footing and ponder a little harder:
I rummaged through my carry-sack
with need fuelling my stare
until I found combustion's birth
adorned within a flare.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2010
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That passage does seem a little more obscure in its metaphor, doesn't it? I may have to do some tweaking. This series has been amazing and challenging to write. It grew from my wish to wrie an epic tale in poem format, and it's taken me on quite the ride!
Thank you :-)
Mike
Comment from Sasha
I am more than enjoying this. This is absolutely marvelous writing and you have completely captivated me with your awesome talent. All I can say is I hate to see this come to an end.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2010
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I am more than enjoying this. This is absolutely marvelous writing and you have completely captivated me with your awesome talent. All I can say is I hate to see this come to an end.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2010
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I'm torn on this one; it's been a great experience, writing this book, but I'm also happy to be nearing the conclusion. Historically, I'm pretty useless at finishing things, so it's great to feel like I've gone the distance with this story. As always, thank you humbly for your words.
Mike
Comment from adewpearl
Wow, now this part of your story packs an explosive punch!!!!
Excellent use of alliteration, descriptive detail, abcb rhyming. Vengeance with intense emotion, all wrapped up in fire and muck. Brooke
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2010
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Wow, now this part of your story packs an explosive punch!!!!
Excellent use of alliteration, descriptive detail, abcb rhyming. Vengeance with intense emotion, all wrapped up in fire and muck. Brooke
Comment Written 19-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2010
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Thank you, Brooke. Is he loopy? The world hangs by his thread :-)
Mike
Comment from Monte Carbolic
Interesting premise for a book. I think you're pulling it off pretty well, too. This poem was very well-written and had a great flow to it. Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2010
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Interesting premise for a book. I think you're pulling it off pretty well, too. This poem was very well-written and had a great flow to it. Well done.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2010
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Thank you, Monte. It's been quite an experience, writing this!
Mike
Comment from rama devi
Hey Mike---An excellent addition to the saga of the wandering man. Such stark and fierce intensity! What a landscape, what a scene, what a character~
What brilliant rhyming too!
Superb flow.
Vivid imagery that augments the impact and matches the tone and theme.
Two very minor nits-
* not sure if I like the passive voicing in this stanza- (though perhaps it is required for sake of rhythm)
The pump was groaning up above,
the ground growled of its loss.
The air was shuddering with fear
as man stole Earth's black gloss.
* Not sure, but maybe a comma would be good at end of second line-
With grim design and grimmer face,
I clambered through the dark(,)
and climbed foundations of the pump
without a sound to hark.
your vocabulary and word wizardry never ceases to impress me,
BRavo.
Hugs, rd
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2010
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Hey Mike---An excellent addition to the saga of the wandering man. Such stark and fierce intensity! What a landscape, what a scene, what a character~
What brilliant rhyming too!
Superb flow.
Vivid imagery that augments the impact and matches the tone and theme.
Two very minor nits-
* not sure if I like the passive voicing in this stanza- (though perhaps it is required for sake of rhythm)
The pump was groaning up above,
the ground growled of its loss.
The air was shuddering with fear
as man stole Earth's black gloss.
* Not sure, but maybe a comma would be good at end of second line-
With grim design and grimmer face,
I clambered through the dark(,)
and climbed foundations of the pump
without a sound to hark.
your vocabulary and word wizardry never ceases to impress me,
BRavo.
Hugs, rd
Comment Written 19-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2010
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Thank you, rd :-). I always breathe a sigh of relief when a review comes in from you, because I know you'll see any little bits i've missed. I'll definitely chane that second stanza a bit; thanks for the pointer. Most importantly, I'm so glad you enjoyed the new chapter!
Hugs in return,
Mike
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Thanks dear Mike. HUgs and smiles, rd
Comment from judelesemann
Powerful, dynamic writing. I usually don't like this type of writing but, you grabbed me and kept me through to the end. Fantastic! Jude
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2010
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Powerful, dynamic writing. I usually don't like this type of writing but, you grabbed me and kept me through to the end. Fantastic! Jude
Comment Written 19-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2010
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Thank you so much for the fantastic rating, Jude! I've been having a great time writing this series of poems, and it's a project that would never have come so far if not for the support of Fanstorians. I'm almost there! Thanks again; I'm thrilled you enjoyed the read :-)
Mike