Pumpkin Fate
Bad things happen to bad people.67 total reviews
Comment from fluffnstuff
wow...you are captivating with your writes. May I humbly ask you about two things? Did you mean for the word skin to be capitalized when you mentioned it blue with tattoos? And did you mean to say "too drunk to drink?" Let me know if it's a saying i'm not aware of kk? It's a great write. di
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
  |
wow...you are captivating with your writes. May I humbly ask you about two things? Did you mean for the word skin to be capitalized when you mentioned it blue with tattoos? And did you mean to say "too drunk to drink?" Let me know if it's a saying i'm not aware of kk? It's a great write. di
Comment Written 04-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
-
Hello, my friend. Long time since I have heard from you. (smile) You were right..."skin" should not have been capitalized and I fixed it...Thank you.
As for the "too drunk to drink" LOL that was on purpose. Just a little fun to show how ignorant he was. Thank you for the six stars, Di. I won this contest nearly ten years ago.
: ) Bob
Comment from Pearl Edwards
As always, great descriptions-possessed the personality of a slug. - puts us in the picture straight away. his alligator mouth overload his hummingbird tail - made me smile.
Great story Bob, and a just end to a pig of a man. Your great descriptions had me voting for a bad end from almost the beginning. Congrats on the win,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2019
|
As always, great descriptions-possessed the personality of a slug. - puts us in the picture straight away. his alligator mouth overload his hummingbird tail - made me smile.
Great story Bob, and a just end to a pig of a man. Your great descriptions had me voting for a bad end from almost the beginning. Congrats on the win,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 27-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2019
-
Thank you so much, Valda. I appreciate the six stars and am glad you enjoyed his oldie. : ) Bless you. Bob
Comment from Adri7enne
Wow, Bob. This was mesmerizing. I got to know Coley like he was married to my best friend and I hated the bastard. Lol! You described him and his shitty little world like an artist paints a masterpiece. Best stuff of yours I've ever read! I would have liked to watch him die a little longer, but you left me wanting more, which is a good thing. Congratulations on a great piece!
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
|
Wow, Bob. This was mesmerizing. I got to know Coley like he was married to my best friend and I hated the bastard. Lol! You described him and his shitty little world like an artist paints a masterpiece. Best stuff of yours I've ever read! I would have liked to watch him die a little longer, but you left me wanting more, which is a good thing. Congratulations on a great piece!
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
-
Thank you my dear friend. I appreciate those comments very much as well as the six stars. You are so generous. Bless you, Adri7enne. : ) Bob
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Security wasn't a problem however: Many of the trailer-park neighbors owned free-running pit bulls that were canine psychopaths no burglar dared to challenge. (Love this!)
Your fine writing is always a joy to read, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
|
Security wasn't a problem however: Many of the trailer-park neighbors owned free-running pit bulls that were canine psychopaths no burglar dared to challenge. (Love this!)
Your fine writing is always a joy to read, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 24-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
-
Thanks so much, debbie. i appreciate your gift of six stars and most of all I appreciate YOU. : )Bob
Comment from barkingdog
Ha! Passed out in a drunk stupor, he died in the fire. Trick or Treat. lol
You developed the neighborhood and Coley so completely that I felt I was there.
Laureen and Josh played their parts in supporting roles toward developing Coley's character. No love lost there. This reader didn't care that no one looked to see if anyone was home. Let him burn!
Nicely done, Bob.
:) e
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
|
Ha! Passed out in a drunk stupor, he died in the fire. Trick or Treat. lol
You developed the neighborhood and Coley so completely that I felt I was there.
Laureen and Josh played their parts in supporting roles toward developing Coley's character. No love lost there. This reader didn't care that no one looked to see if anyone was home. Let him burn!
Nicely done, Bob.
:) e
Comment Written 24-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
-
Thanks so much for the sixer and most of all thanks for reviewing my old work, E. Your comments are so cool. LOL : ) Bob
Comment from Gloria ....
A perfect Halloween story, Bob. Your aspirin and tattoo words woven in adeptly and the outcome of righteous justice is gratifying when bad people are met with a bad ending.
I can see why you won the contest with this well-told tale.
Gloria
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
 |
A perfect Halloween story, Bob. Your aspirin and tattoo words woven in adeptly and the outcome of righteous justice is gratifying when bad people are met with a bad ending.
I can see why you won the contest with this well-told tale.
Gloria
Comment Written 23-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
-
Thank you dear friend. I appreciate your time as always. : ) Bob
Comment from Sylvia Page
Hello Bob, first of all, congratulations on winning this contest and taking the coveted 1st place. This story goes into describing a certain class of sorry individual. Instead of making an effort to climb out of the rut he was in he drove himself deeper into his doom. Well done.
Sylvia
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
|
Hello Bob, first of all, congratulations on winning this contest and taking the coveted 1st place. This story goes into describing a certain class of sorry individual. Instead of making an effort to climb out of the rut he was in he drove himself deeper into his doom. Well done.
Sylvia
Comment Written 23-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
-
Hi Sylvia. Thank you for the six beautiful stars but especially for reviewing this old one. Bless you. : ) Bob
Comment from tfawcus
Graphic storytelling. I can see why this one would have won the contest. You build the characters with precision and put us right there with all the incidental detail. Just one typo: 'hare' for 'hair' in this paragraph:
He meandered to the refrigerator and retrieved a can of Coors. "I need some hare from the dog that bit me." After taking a long swig, he closed his eyes rolled the can back and forth on his forehead
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
|
Graphic storytelling. I can see why this one would have won the contest. You build the characters with precision and put us right there with all the incidental detail. Just one typo: 'hare' for 'hair' in this paragraph:
He meandered to the refrigerator and retrieved a can of Coors. "I need some hare from the dog that bit me." After taking a long swig, he closed his eyes rolled the can back and forth on his forehead
Comment Written 23-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
-
Thank you for the review and tip, my friend. : ) Bob
Comment from Ricky1024
"Pumpkin Face"
Was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar issues as well.
...
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
...
Good luck with this
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
|
"Pumpkin Face"
Was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar issues as well.
...
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
...
Good luck with this
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 23-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
-
Thanks but no thanks, ricky. LOL I can tell when someone really reads my writing. Others just grab the bucks and run. Know what I mean? : ) Bob
-
I think what you mean is that I no it was very well written but I ran out of six stars and that wasn't good enough for you?
-
No. Six stars mean very little to me after being on here for 16 years. I meant what I said...your review was such general statements, I had no way of knowing how you really liked the writing. It seemed like a big brush off to me. Sorry. Bob
-
I do so many reviews on fan story as much as a hundred a day that I don't have time to go into detail completely on each one.
No prob and thanks.
Ricky
-
A hundred a day? LOL. Please. :) Bob
-
I worked at night crew for 36 years so i have problems sleeping so when i can't sleep by right and i review now go back to sleep a little while wake up use the bathroom and do the same thing.
Rocky
-
Wow. Bob
-
Over 16 1/2 years ago on the night of march 31st 2003.
a young 18 year old boy would be put in the position eventual brain death.
my son jason richard smrkovsky donated major organs is safe for lives on april fool's day 2003.
And 3 still walk this earth today that's why i write.
and what do i write in 16 and a half years after competing in vegas at DC winning trophies and being world recognized by two major...
Who's Who's?
Anythong anf Every thing He eants mr to?
...
Go deeper and into my profolio the first thing going to notices the countless books to countless poems from the very beginning on April 1st 2003
To this momrnt in time,?
as charles lucas who doesn't right here anymore great western novelist would say that you're...
'Preaching to the Choir here at fanstory.'
...
And he nailed it right it comes from above every last sentence to decide who uses a title every last word that i'll run beautifully with the previous sentence it all is a gift from above but why?
Why does one man be given this tremendous responsibility to cure this planet we just one word called love?
Just read any of my current works and you'll understand.
Doctor Ricky 1024.
Thankd for listening, reviewing, and now?
Caring...
Ehos,?
e?
-
Wow
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Bob,
That was a terrific short story. The characters were very real. You made the reader actually hope something bad would happen to Coley. What a wicked man! But Laureen got him in the end, though unintentionally, with a pumpkin. I liked her choice of weapon.
I think there are far too many families that have to put up with a drunken bum like Coley. Such a waste of lives.
But your story was well-written, as always. Impressive!
I just want to make note of a noun you marvelously turn into a verb,
"As soon as they were gone, Coley went in the bedroom and retrieved the bottle of Jim Beam he had squirreled away in the closet." ... squirreled! I've never seen squirrel used that way... super job!
No wonder you won the contest!
cheers
Kimbob
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
|
Hi Bob,
That was a terrific short story. The characters were very real. You made the reader actually hope something bad would happen to Coley. What a wicked man! But Laureen got him in the end, though unintentionally, with a pumpkin. I liked her choice of weapon.
I think there are far too many families that have to put up with a drunken bum like Coley. Such a waste of lives.
But your story was well-written, as always. Impressive!
I just want to make note of a noun you marvelously turn into a verb,
"As soon as they were gone, Coley went in the bedroom and retrieved the bottle of Jim Beam he had squirreled away in the closet." ... squirreled! I've never seen squirrel used that way... super job!
No wonder you won the contest!
cheers
Kimbob
Comment Written 22-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
-
Thanks so much, dear friend. I appreciate the six stars, but most of all I appreciate YOU! : ) Bob