Sories Poetically Speaking
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Shepherd King"A complete story in written as a poem.
28 total reviews
Comment from zydecosal
An excellent poem Beth. You know the story of David well. Your rhyming is excellent and your meter is okay. Could use a little help though. The picture is great.
Sally
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2010
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An excellent poem Beth. You know the story of David well. Your rhyming is excellent and your meter is okay. Could use a little help though. The picture is great.
Sally
Comment Written 11-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2010
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Thank you Sally, I appreciate the review and nice comments. I wonder what I could do to improve the meter. No one else mentioned it.
Beth
Comment from InHisownwrite
You tell this story very poetically....
Very almost musically....... I think it is very inspired and I commend you for it......
A shepherd became king....
Isn't that just like the Lord....
Love the last verse also... Bryan
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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You tell this story very poetically....
Very almost musically....... I think it is very inspired and I commend you for it......
A shepherd became king....
Isn't that just like the Lord....
Love the last verse also... Bryan
Comment Written 09-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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Thank you so much for your review and nice comments. I'm so glad you liked it.
Beth
Comment from BLACKDYKE
A very modernistic play on words of such grandure Beth' very cleverly done and executed.
Also a complete story for the beginner.
Great stuff. Eric
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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A very modernistic play on words of such grandure Beth' very cleverly done and executed.
Also a complete story for the beginner.
Great stuff. Eric
Comment Written 09-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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Thank you Eric, I really appreciate the review and nice comments.
Beth
Comment from Begin Again
Beth,
Been saying a few psalms in the past few days.. With my honey sick again and in and out of the hospital, my strength lies in those verses and God. You told a magnicifent biblical story and I truly enjoyed it.
Smiles,CArol
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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Beth,
Been saying a few psalms in the past few days.. With my honey sick again and in and out of the hospital, my strength lies in those verses and God. You told a magnicifent biblical story and I truly enjoyed it.
Smiles,CArol
Comment Written 09-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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Thanks Carol, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate the review.
Hugs,
Beth
Comment from rama devi
Excellent recounting of the famous Bibclical tale of Young David who grew to be King David. My dad's name was David. ;-)
The flow adn pacing is excellent and rhyming very good, especially in this stanza-
God sent Samuel to Bethlehem
to find the next to reign.
God knew that David's heart was pure
and chose him to ordain.
Did not notice spag nits on first read.
Good luck in the contest.
A fine entry!
A nice presentation, too.
Love, rd
SP I thought I'd fanned you long ago but this post did not show in my inbox.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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Excellent recounting of the famous Bibclical tale of Young David who grew to be King David. My dad's name was David. ;-)
The flow adn pacing is excellent and rhyming very good, especially in this stanza-
God sent Samuel to Bethlehem
to find the next to reign.
God knew that David's heart was pure
and chose him to ordain.
Did not notice spag nits on first read.
Good luck in the contest.
A fine entry!
A nice presentation, too.
Love, rd
SP I thought I'd fanned you long ago but this post did not show in my inbox.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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Thank you rama devi, I really appreciate the review and comment. I don't believe you've ever put me on your fan list but it would be nice if you did. I love your work as well so I should probably join yours.
Beth
Comment from WRITER1
A very nice piece. We still do savor his songs my favorite is psalms 23. Truly the Lord is our Sheppard. In my worst times I always think of it.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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A very nice piece. We still do savor his songs my favorite is psalms 23. Truly the Lord is our Sheppard. In my worst times I always think of it.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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Thank you so much for the lovely six stars. I really appreciate the review and nice comments.
Beth
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
The poem traces teh biblical story of David from his days as a shepherd to becoming king of Israel.
I like how you trace the imagery of shepherding his sheep to shepherding the people of israel and finally as a forefather of the Greatest Shepherd King of all.
Excellent rhythm and rhyme.
Juliette
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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The poem traces teh biblical story of David from his days as a shepherd to becoming king of Israel.
I like how you trace the imagery of shepherding his sheep to shepherding the people of israel and finally as a forefather of the Greatest Shepherd King of all.
Excellent rhythm and rhyme.
Juliette
Comment Written 09-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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Thank you Juliette, I really appreciate the review and the lovely comments.
Beth
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello BethShelby,
I enjoyed this historical poem. It reads and flows well and I have no suggestion for improvement. I particularly liked the following:
Saul gave the boy his coat of arms,
but he cast it aside.
With just a pebble from his sling,
the giant fell down and died.
Thank you for the Author's notes.
A strong contest entry. Keep writing.
Regards, LateBloomer
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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Hello BethShelby,
I enjoyed this historical poem. It reads and flows well and I have no suggestion for improvement. I particularly liked the following:
Saul gave the boy his coat of arms,
but he cast it aside.
With just a pebble from his sling,
the giant fell down and died.
Thank you for the Author's notes.
A strong contest entry. Keep writing.
Regards, LateBloomer
Comment Written 09-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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Thank you so much for giving this six stars. I so glad you enjoyed it.
Beth
Comment from Tushy
Your story is so expertly told in rhyming.... it never falters, giving a lovely rhythm. Excellent that you have been able to tel the tale is so much detail within a poem. Very enjoyable and a pleasure to read.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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Your story is so expertly told in rhyming.... it never falters, giving a lovely rhythm. Excellent that you have been able to tel the tale is so much detail within a poem. Very enjoyable and a pleasure to read.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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Thank you so much for the review and lovely comments.
All the best,
Beth
Comment from Jean Lutz
I love Bible stories retold in poems. You should consider Alvin's ballad of Jewish women. I have never written a ballad, but I am going to give it a try.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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I love Bible stories retold in poems. You should consider Alvin's ballad of Jewish women. I have never written a ballad, but I am going to give it a try.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
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Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments. I will check out Alvin's ballad. Thanks for the tip.
Beth