Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Part 1, Chapter 5"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
80 total reviews
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Wow I was so willing to hate her father, but you pulled out his humanity in the nick of time. lol. This chapter also give a look into the depth of Troy's affections. Maybe genuine love can happen at a first meet. Never did for me.
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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Wow I was so willing to hate her father, but you pulled out his humanity in the nick of time. lol. This chapter also give a look into the depth of Troy's affections. Maybe genuine love can happen at a first meet. Never did for me.
Comment Written 17-May-2012
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
hifalutin[]
A short[,] attractive woman
Your grandson, Michael[,] has an ear infection."
Please[,] if you learn anything[,] call me."
After Troy crossed the street[,] a truck pulled along side the curb. "Hey mister," yelled the driver.
Roberta
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2011
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hifalutin[]
A short[,] attractive woman
Your grandson, Michael[,] has an ear infection."
Please[,] if you learn anything[,] call me."
After Troy crossed the street[,] a truck pulled along side the curb. "Hey mister," yelled the driver.
Roberta
Comment Written 16-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2011
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Thank you again, I wish you read these with the points still attached.
Comment from Queenise
Barbara, another heart wrenching chapter that brings tears of sadness and relief. The story has a rich drawing power that holds you from the beginning to end. Great job. Queenise
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2011
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Barbara, another heart wrenching chapter that brings tears of sadness and relief. The story has a rich drawing power that holds you from the beginning to end. Great job. Queenise
Comment Written 15-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2011
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You're precious.
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You're more precious and a wonderful story teller to boot. Queenise
Comment from pickthorn
A very interesting saga. The interest in the plight of Anna and her baby keeps building in this chapter as Troy continues his search. Great read. Pickthorn
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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A very interesting saga. The interest in the plight of Anna and her baby keeps building in this chapter as Troy continues his search. Great read. Pickthorn
Comment Written 09-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Dashjianta
The attitudes of the various characters comes across well in this chapter - Anna's dad's initial dismisal of his daughter's situation, later to turn to concern (can imagine he got a good talking too from his wife after Troy left), and her mum's more concerned, protectiveness.
The short conversation also reveals a lot about her parents attitudes and their conflict over it (dad setting down his rules, mum caring more for daughter's safety) and how those attitudes would've stopped Anna from running back home rather than disappearing. Doubt she would want to flee from one conflict to land up in another.
A couple minor suggestions:
"Your grandson, Michael(,) has an ear infection." "
"After Troy took out a business card, he handed it to the woman. " - might flow beeter if you take out "after" and "he" and put in "and after "card"
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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The attitudes of the various characters comes across well in this chapter - Anna's dad's initial dismisal of his daughter's situation, later to turn to concern (can imagine he got a good talking too from his wife after Troy left), and her mum's more concerned, protectiveness.
The short conversation also reveals a lot about her parents attitudes and their conflict over it (dad setting down his rules, mum caring more for daughter's safety) and how those attitudes would've stopped Anna from running back home rather than disappearing. Doubt she would want to flee from one conflict to land up in another.
A couple minor suggestions:
"Your grandson, Michael(,) has an ear infection." "
"After Troy took out a business card, he handed it to the woman. " - might flow beeter if you take out "after" and "he" and put in "and after "card"
Comment Written 09-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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I will recheck those areas. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from fairy77
I was so moved by your story.You are an amazing women bringing light to this subject and I applaude you.The stories very interesting,good plot and dialogue.I was studying your writing to improve my own.I just started writing short stories.Good piece.I will become a fan !Beth.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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I was so moved by your story.You are an amazing women bringing light to this subject and I applaude you.The stories very interesting,good plot and dialogue.I was studying your writing to improve my own.I just started writing short stories.Good piece.I will become a fan !Beth.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and the compliment. If I can help in any way, let me know.
Comment from Readywriter52
Troy doesn't know where Anna is. Her father doesn't care and her mother seems more concerned but won't go against her husband. They both consider it her fault that she was abused. It's no wonder Anna chose to run away.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2011
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Troy doesn't know where Anna is. Her father doesn't care and her mother seems more concerned but won't go against her husband. They both consider it her fault that she was abused. It's no wonder Anna chose to run away.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2011
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I agree. Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from sunnilicious
I enjoy reading your succession of events in each chapter. Troy surprised everyone going to her parents and all. This one came out really well. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2011
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I enjoy reading your succession of events in each chapter. Troy surprised everyone going to her parents and all. This one came out really well. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
chapter fourteen on your book Lonely Hearts Meet is excellently written. I love the art work you picked. I'm rooting for Anna and Troy to realize they are falling in love. Your dialogue is great. Your descriptive writing is superb. Despite the seriousness of abuse, I enjoyed reading this chapter. Troy has secrets of his own. We find out Anna's father doesn't like the creep she had married. If only she had listened to her parents. I like Louise. I shocked with Abner flagged Troy down on the street. I love what Troy's internal voice said: "The old fart does care." I laughed at that line. Your ending was great in this chapter. I pray for you too to get well, my friend. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2011
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Barbara,
chapter fourteen on your book Lonely Hearts Meet is excellently written. I love the art work you picked. I'm rooting for Anna and Troy to realize they are falling in love. Your dialogue is great. Your descriptive writing is superb. Despite the seriousness of abuse, I enjoyed reading this chapter. Troy has secrets of his own. We find out Anna's father doesn't like the creep she had married. If only she had listened to her parents. I like Louise. I shocked with Abner flagged Troy down on the street. I love what Troy's internal voice said: "The old fart does care." I laughed at that line. Your ending was great in this chapter. I pray for you too to get well, my friend. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
Melissa.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from circlespotdot
Greetings, This is my first reading of your book and I have missed quite a bit but I enjoyed reading this section. It was interesting right to the end and the characters were all very well portrayed. I got the story right away in this little section and am waiting to read more. Your story sounds like real life.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2011
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Greetings, This is my first reading of your book and I have missed quite a bit but I enjoyed reading this section. It was interesting right to the end and the characters were all very well portrayed. I got the story right away in this little section and am waiting to read more. Your story sounds like real life.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.