Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "First love"A book of Poetry & Writing
22 total reviews
Comment from reconciled
hello sir...-smile- I thought this an exceptional write....sorry out of yellow...love lifts heavy weight. alright....love Michael
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hello sir...-smile- I thought this an exceptional write....sorry out of yellow...love lifts heavy weight. alright....love Michael
Comment Written 18-Mar-2014
Comment from Denise S
I just liked the picture used here so much. And the poem was lovely too. But what hail? I never made that connection before, but then maybe it's just me
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I just liked the picture used here so much. And the poem was lovely too. But what hail? I never made that connection before, but then maybe it's just me
Comment Written 06-Aug-2011
Comment from gazzagodbod
aww what a wonderful old picture great message and sentiment loved it thanks so much and good luck in the contest gazzagodbod
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aww what a wonderful old picture great message and sentiment loved it thanks so much and good luck in the contest gazzagodbod
Comment Written 06-Aug-2011
Comment from barfy
Never more beauteous words spoken...
A very handsome composition. Technically perfect.
I wish you well with this work.
Thank you
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Never more beauteous words spoken...
A very handsome composition. Technically perfect.
I wish you well with this work.
Thank you
Comment Written 06-Aug-2011
Comment from rudion
Great stuff here. you seem to understand this genre very well. and can we talk about that picture? How adorable and perfect! Good job.
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Great stuff here. you seem to understand this genre very well. and can we talk about that picture? How adorable and perfect! Good job.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2011
Comment from c_lucas
Love is an adventure, especially the first one. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a easy read. Good luck in your contest.
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Love is an adventure, especially the first one. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a easy read. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2011
Comment from missy98writer
Poet,
your essence is excellently penned. The black and white old time photo is perfect. But this isn't an essence poem. An essence is The Essence, created by Emily Romano is a short, structured form of two-lines, six syllables each with an end rhyme and internal rhyme. I found not internal or end rhyme, but your poem is excellent despite that fact so I'll go ahead and give you five stars reluctantly because in a contest we all should adhere to the requirements. Two the first line has 8 syllables and your second line has 6 syllables. Might I suggest the following:
Like blue birds love soars high
You sweet words make me sigh."
The internal rhyme is birds - words and external is high sigh." That's an essence poem. Continued success in future writing endeavors.
Missy.
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Poet,
your essence is excellently penned. The black and white old time photo is perfect. But this isn't an essence poem. An essence is The Essence, created by Emily Romano is a short, structured form of two-lines, six syllables each with an end rhyme and internal rhyme. I found not internal or end rhyme, but your poem is excellent despite that fact so I'll go ahead and give you five stars reluctantly because in a contest we all should adhere to the requirements. Two the first line has 8 syllables and your second line has 6 syllables. Might I suggest the following:
Like blue birds love soars high
You sweet words make me sigh."
The internal rhyme is birds - words and external is high sigh." That's an essence poem. Continued success in future writing endeavors.
Missy.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2011
Comment from BobbieCow
Sorry, but I don't think you met the criteria of the prompt. In judging your piece, I do like the picture of the young children, but I am lost in your poesy. I am not certain what you meant???
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Sorry, but I don't think you met the criteria of the prompt. In judging your piece, I do like the picture of the young children, but I am lost in your poesy. I am not certain what you meant???
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2011
Comment from Doug LeCroy
This was supposed to be an Essence poem. My guess is that you didn't read the rules. I think it would make a good Free Verse.
dl
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This was supposed to be an Essence poem. My guess is that you didn't read the rules. I think it would make a good Free Verse.
dl
Comment Written 05-Aug-2011
Comment from Chris Tee
Sorry to do this but your syllable count is out by far in the first line. you have nine and it should be six.
The second line you have six syllables but no internal rhyme.
If you edit and correct it I shall re-review it. Let my know in your answer after it complies with the requirement
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Sorry to do this but your syllable count is out by far in the first line. you have nine and it should be six.
The second line you have six syllables but no internal rhyme.
If you edit and correct it I shall re-review it. Let my know in your answer after it complies with the requirement
Comment Written 05-Aug-2011