Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Part four, Chapter 8"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
77 total reviews
Comment from NaughtieScribe
See this is what I mean when I call you a talented writer. You start off making me let my guard down and enjoy a bit of Anna's developing confidence, the wham you introduce that b Mr's Rodgers and the warm and fuzzies go away. Darn you. Okay I gotta read another chapter. Thank goodness for Tivo.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
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See this is what I mean when I call you a talented writer. You start off making me let my guard down and enjoy a bit of Anna's developing confidence, the wham you introduce that b Mr's Rodgers and the warm and fuzzies go away. Darn you. Okay I gotta read another chapter. Thank goodness for Tivo.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
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Thank you.
Comment from rzubey
I knew the mother-in-law would be trouble. I was so glad that Anna was protected and able to ignore her at the house. In a way I like the mother-in-law because she keeps us guessing. I hope something happens to her that would wake her up about her son. I'm anxious to read on keep up the great work.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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I knew the mother-in-law would be trouble. I was so glad that Anna was protected and able to ignore her at the house. In a way I like the mother-in-law because she keeps us guessing. I hope something happens to her that would wake her up about her son. I'm anxious to read on keep up the great work.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
In the bedroom, splattered blood covered the walls and the bedding. A torn nightgown dangled from the dresser as if it had been thrown. --- more pictures for evidence. Wouldn't the police have taken the bedding and the torn nightgown?
Paul would use all this evidence for the custody part of the divorce trial. This isn't a case of he-said she-said. There is tons of evidence.
The two attorneys and the women went to see who called out. --- Where's the police officer who came with them?
Mrs. Rodgers followed the attorneys. "My son wouldn't forge a signature. That bitch is lying.["]
The forged title is another document for evidence at the divorce trial.
They walked through the house[one more time- and no comma] before Mr. Young locked the front door.
Paul backed out the driveway. [Paul would not leave before Mrs. Rodgers did because of the potential for harm she might do to Anna]
Anna glanced toward Paul. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Not really. See you in the morning." --- Paul would question Anna in detail about what all Mrs. Rodgers has done and said since Anna met Bobby. If he doesn't want to do that now, he would say something like, "I need to talk to you about Mrs. Rodgers, but since you're so tired, we can do that another time when you're rested."
The old davenport, recliner and two end tables were stored in the basement until we decided what to do with it[them?].
He listened, [and] then hung up. He looked at Anna. "It was Eric Young. He called to let me know Mrs. Rodgers is investigating how you can afford an expensive attorney." --- Eric Young would tell her to butt out. No attorney wants his client's mother butting into his case like that. First, Eric or his investigator will do whatever investigating needs to be done. Second, it isn't any of Bobby or his lawyer's business how Anna pays for her lawyer unless she asks the court to order Bobby to pay her attorney's fees. No one would question whether someone earning $42,000 a year could afford an attorney; people earning $20-24,000 a year hire lawyers. Her parents might be paying for him, or she might have savings. Until the Disclosure statements are filed, Eric won't worry about it. If Anna asks for attorney's fees, she'll provide the iformation in that, along with necessary documentation, including the attorney-client contract.
"I think the less she knows about our situation[,] the better. You asked me to visit Anna in the hospital[,] remember?"
"Legally she can't do a thing about it. Maybe I should attach my fee to the final judgment." --- Paul can't just attach his fee to a judgment, and there might nto be a money judgment, anyway. He has to ask for attorney's fees, and it's usually done the first time in the Response to let Bobby know that's one thing Anna is asking for.
Roberta
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2011
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In the bedroom, splattered blood covered the walls and the bedding. A torn nightgown dangled from the dresser as if it had been thrown. --- more pictures for evidence. Wouldn't the police have taken the bedding and the torn nightgown?
Paul would use all this evidence for the custody part of the divorce trial. This isn't a case of he-said she-said. There is tons of evidence.
The two attorneys and the women went to see who called out. --- Where's the police officer who came with them?
Mrs. Rodgers followed the attorneys. "My son wouldn't forge a signature. That bitch is lying.["]
The forged title is another document for evidence at the divorce trial.
They walked through the house[one more time- and no comma] before Mr. Young locked the front door.
Paul backed out the driveway. [Paul would not leave before Mrs. Rodgers did because of the potential for harm she might do to Anna]
Anna glanced toward Paul. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Not really. See you in the morning." --- Paul would question Anna in detail about what all Mrs. Rodgers has done and said since Anna met Bobby. If he doesn't want to do that now, he would say something like, "I need to talk to you about Mrs. Rodgers, but since you're so tired, we can do that another time when you're rested."
The old davenport, recliner and two end tables were stored in the basement until we decided what to do with it[them?].
He listened, [and] then hung up. He looked at Anna. "It was Eric Young. He called to let me know Mrs. Rodgers is investigating how you can afford an expensive attorney." --- Eric Young would tell her to butt out. No attorney wants his client's mother butting into his case like that. First, Eric or his investigator will do whatever investigating needs to be done. Second, it isn't any of Bobby or his lawyer's business how Anna pays for her lawyer unless she asks the court to order Bobby to pay her attorney's fees. No one would question whether someone earning $42,000 a year could afford an attorney; people earning $20-24,000 a year hire lawyers. Her parents might be paying for him, or she might have savings. Until the Disclosure statements are filed, Eric won't worry about it. If Anna asks for attorney's fees, she'll provide the iformation in that, along with necessary documentation, including the attorney-client contract.
"I think the less she knows about our situation[,] the better. You asked me to visit Anna in the hospital[,] remember?"
"Legally she can't do a thing about it. Maybe I should attach my fee to the final judgment." --- Paul can't just attach his fee to a judgment, and there might nto be a money judgment, anyway. He has to ask for attorney's fees, and it's usually done the first time in the Response to let Bobby know that's one thing Anna is asking for.
Roberta
Comment Written 17-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2011
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thank you
Comment from Helen Tan
Bobby's parents, especially his mum - well I guess that explains why Bobby is so mean. I could strangle his mum and I'm not violent by nature. (Believe it or not. =D )
A torn nightgown remained half-on and half-off the dresser as if it had
Consider - A torn nightgown dangled from the dresser as if it had
Somehow the "half-on and half-off" does not flow well.
Anna brushed a stand of hair from her cheek.
Anna brushed a stRand of hair from her cheek.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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Bobby's parents, especially his mum - well I guess that explains why Bobby is so mean. I could strangle his mum and I'm not violent by nature. (Believe it or not. =D )
A torn nightgown remained half-on and half-off the dresser as if it had
Consider - A torn nightgown dangled from the dresser as if it had
Somehow the "half-on and half-off" does not flow well.
Anna brushed a stand of hair from her cheek.
Anna brushed a stRand of hair from her cheek.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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I made the corrections thank you for catching them. I struggled with the first sentence and couldn't get it right and you fixed it for me. I appreciate that.
Comment from robina1978
Read one of your previous chapters.
This one is equally good.
Well written and grabbed my attention all the way.
Such a necessary subject you chose for your book.
No tips to improve.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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Read one of your previous chapters.
This one is equally good.
Well written and grabbed my attention all the way.
Such a necessary subject you chose for your book.
No tips to improve.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Cheryl Daphine
A very good chapter Barbara. I could easily visualise Mrs. Rodgers.have seen quite a few of them in my life. Always declaring the son is innocent. Very well written story. Wish you the best with the new school year,and all those little first graders. Do well.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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A very good chapter Barbara. I could easily visualise Mrs. Rodgers.have seen quite a few of them in my life. Always declaring the son is innocent. Very well written story. Wish you the best with the new school year,and all those little first graders. Do well.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mara del Mar
I resent the attitude of Mrs. Rodgers, mothers like her are an incentive to spread domestic violence, because they put the executioner as victim. Moreover, I am happy that Anna is beginning to face life with courage and beginning to be happy. Good chapter, congrats.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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I resent the attitude of Mrs. Rodgers, mothers like her are an incentive to spread domestic violence, because they put the executioner as victim. Moreover, I am happy that Anna is beginning to face life with courage and beginning to be happy. Good chapter, congrats.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you again for the Hotline information and statistics in your notes--if they help one person seek assistance or raise consciousness, your whole project is worth it. Best wishes with the new semester starting--it seems so early! Your characters are so engaging, I was pleased when the lawyer put Mrs. Rodgers in her place. Anna deserves all the breaks she can get. -Joan
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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Thank you again for the Hotline information and statistics in your notes--if they help one person seek assistance or raise consciousness, your whole project is worth it. Best wishes with the new semester starting--it seems so early! Your characters are so engaging, I was pleased when the lawyer put Mrs. Rodgers in her place. Anna deserves all the breaks she can get. -Joan
Comment Written 17-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from me_tudor
Barbara, this story just gets better and better. It is so true to what happens in real life and I love that you aren't sugar coating anything. I also loved the way you created the mother-in-law. My youngest daughter's got one like that right now who is finally starting to see her sons faults. Great job!
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2011
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Barbara, this story just gets better and better. It is so true to what happens in real life and I love that you aren't sugar coating anything. I also loved the way you created the mother-in-law. My youngest daughter's got one like that right now who is finally starting to see her sons faults. Great job!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gary D. Hardy
I very much enjoyed reading this. Sounds morbid I know, but this is very well written . It's clear and concise with crisp characters and the story is believable. Great job.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2011
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I very much enjoyed reading this. Sounds morbid I know, but this is very well written . It's clear and concise with crisp characters and the story is believable. Great job.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
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My pleasure!!