Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Part one, Chapter 9"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
70 total reviews
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Paul can scowl all he wants to at Troy for getting involved now with Anna. But he and Betty are just as involved personally and have already claimed Michael in their hearts. I just hope Mrs. Rodgers is restricted from having anything to do with Michael.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
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Paul can scowl all he wants to at Troy for getting involved now with Anna. But he and Betty are just as involved personally and have already claimed Michael in their hearts. I just hope Mrs. Rodgers is restricted from having anything to do with Michael.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
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Thank you.
Comment from rzubey
I'm wondering what is going to happen now. This gets really scary. I'm with Anna that it all seems to good to be real. I just feel like something or someone evil is around the corner. That is really good writing. Can't wait to read more. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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I'm wondering what is going to happen now. This gets really scary. I'm with Anna that it all seems to good to be real. I just feel like something or someone evil is around the corner. That is really good writing. Can't wait to read more. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
I'd better get busy. Paul said[] he'll return at five o'clock.
"You're welcome." He grinned. "If it's all right, we have one stop to make before going back to the house. My insurance agent set up car and renters insurance policies[ for you]. --- Has she been driving her car without insurance? that's not allowed in Arizona, or is she changing her insurance?
"Anna, Troy will be here in about thirty minutes, [and] then we'll eat.
When Bobby's released from jail[,] he'll come looking for me." --- Someone should be reassuring her that Bobby won't be getting out of prison for years, not with all the charges and evidence piled up against him.
"Dad's doing everything possible to keep him in jail. --- What can Paul do to keep Bobby in jail? He's not the prosecutor, and obviously not his defense lawyer, and, in fact,he is not involved in the criminal case in anyway.
"I'll do anything[] as long as I don't lose my son."
Roberta
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2011
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I'd better get busy. Paul said[] he'll return at five o'clock.
"You're welcome." He grinned. "If it's all right, we have one stop to make before going back to the house. My insurance agent set up car and renters insurance policies[ for you]. --- Has she been driving her car without insurance? that's not allowed in Arizona, or is she changing her insurance?
"Anna, Troy will be here in about thirty minutes, [and] then we'll eat.
When Bobby's released from jail[,] he'll come looking for me." --- Someone should be reassuring her that Bobby won't be getting out of prison for years, not with all the charges and evidence piled up against him.
"Dad's doing everything possible to keep him in jail. --- What can Paul do to keep Bobby in jail? He's not the prosecutor, and obviously not his defense lawyer, and, in fact,he is not involved in the criminal case in anyway.
"I'll do anything[] as long as I don't lose my son."
Roberta
Comment Written 17-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2011
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Thank you
Comment from dmjones
It took me a while to have a moment to read this. It's excellent. I have only one thing I found that really is just a suggestion. For some reason their eyes widened in sentences so close kind of kill the flow a bit. Other than that though I couldn't see anything else.
Anna's eyes widened as her hands fumbled opening it. Finally, she ripped it open and took out a bankbook. "What's this?"
"Look inside," Betty's eyes widened as she motioned for Anna to hurry.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2011
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It took me a while to have a moment to read this. It's excellent. I have only one thing I found that really is just a suggestion. For some reason their eyes widened in sentences so close kind of kill the flow a bit. Other than that though I couldn't see anything else.
Anna's eyes widened as her hands fumbled opening it. Finally, she ripped it open and took out a bankbook. "What's this?"
"Look inside," Betty's eyes widened as she motioned for Anna to hurry.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. Sorry you had to read it when not points attached.
Comment from stanishmichelle
Anna feels so happy in her new home - a new start for her and her son. There is no reason to ever doubt the sincere kindness of Troy and his family. There are good people around when we need them and must learn to accept help that is offered. The bank account Paul gave Anna is a nice gesture and is needed. Good legal move too. surrogate grandparents - I like that. I enjoyed reading this chapter very much. It just gets better each time I do.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2011
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Anna feels so happy in her new home - a new start for her and her son. There is no reason to ever doubt the sincere kindness of Troy and his family. There are good people around when we need them and must learn to accept help that is offered. The bank account Paul gave Anna is a nice gesture and is needed. Good legal move too. surrogate grandparents - I like that. I enjoyed reading this chapter very much. It just gets better each time I do.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Artasylum
i could rant endlessly on this horrible problem that is swept under the run all too often... I just lost a friend in April to domestic violence... All the Kings Horses and All the Kings men could not get Mary away from HIM.....
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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i could rant endlessly on this horrible problem that is swept under the run all too often... I just lost a friend in April to domestic violence... All the Kings Horses and All the Kings men could not get Mary away from HIM.....
Comment Written 25-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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My prayers are with you and April's family. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mara del Mar
It's been a wonderful chapter. If there are angels on earth, Anna found them. Gradually, the problems have been dispelled and have instilled courage and confidence. Congratulations on a great job.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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It's been a wonderful chapter. If there are angels on earth, Anna found them. Gradually, the problems have been dispelled and have instilled courage and confidence. Congratulations on a great job.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Adri7enne
"Troy saw THE frown on her face..." Insert THE
Nice story of an abuse victim getting another chance at life. She ran into some great people.
Your notes are alarming. Being a teacher, you probably run into all kinds of signs of abuse. People are so much more aware of it now, thank heavens. I still don't enjoy reading about it, but these are stories that need to be told.
Well written, Barb. Good pace and interesting narrative voice. Good job!
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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"Troy saw THE frown on her face..." Insert THE
Nice story of an abuse victim getting another chance at life. She ran into some great people.
Your notes are alarming. Being a teacher, you probably run into all kinds of signs of abuse. People are so much more aware of it now, thank heavens. I still don't enjoy reading about it, but these are stories that need to be told.
Well written, Barb. Good pace and interesting narrative voice. Good job!
Comment Written 24-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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I edited that sentence last night, then still didn't get it right. Thank you for catching.
Comment from Charlene0513
To barbara.wilkey,
The story is one of a blessing to Anne for the acceptance of a cheque to start a new life for herself and her son Micheal.
With the knowledge of her "x" soon to be out of jail, Paul's parents wanted to make sure she was well provided for as they felt the emotions between the two might evolve into something stronger.
Forgive me for trying to read between the lines; I have a tendancy to do that. LOL
Charlene
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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To barbara.wilkey,
The story is one of a blessing to Anne for the acceptance of a cheque to start a new life for herself and her son Micheal.
With the knowledge of her "x" soon to be out of jail, Paul's parents wanted to make sure she was well provided for as they felt the emotions between the two might evolve into something stronger.
Forgive me for trying to read between the lines; I have a tendancy to do that. LOL
Charlene
Comment Written 24-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from pickthorn
Another day in the life of Anna and her son Michael. Anna is getting well situated with a new apartment and a gift of one thousand dollars. Anna is one lucky girl to habe friends like Paul and his dad.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Another day in the life of Anna and her son Michael. Anna is getting well situated with a new apartment and a gift of one thousand dollars. Anna is one lucky girl to habe friends like Paul and his dad.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.