Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 56 "part three, chapter 17"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
72 total reviews
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Troy is being reckless too. His feelings for Anna are making him forget his own safety. He's no good to anyone if he gets himself hurt. That said I love that Anna gets to see real men and how they do protect and respect women.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
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Troy is being reckless too. His feelings for Anna are making him forget his own safety. He's no good to anyone if he gets himself hurt. That said I love that Anna gets to see real men and how they do protect and respect women.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
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Thank you.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Barbara:)
1. Anna watched Everett walk away, then glanced toward Sam. Finally, her eyes met Troy's. "I'm officially scared."Troy grinned.
"I think you've been officially scared for quite a while." {Troy is right. How could she not be. In fact whe her stalkers were unknown. Fear of the unkown is what fuels suspense movies.}
2. Anna stopped and took a deep breath. "Troy, I'm staying here. I'm done running. Sam can move inside the lobby if he wants, but I have a job I need to keep and a son to raise." {This is a great turning poit for Anna. Although she knows Bobby's nefarious associates have stalked her to her job, she finally has enough courage to stay at work and rely on her protectors.}
I can feel the law closing in on Bobby and his friends. It's time for them to be reunited behind bars.
Love and Irish Hugs for a great post.
Roger
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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Hi Barbara:)
1. Anna watched Everett walk away, then glanced toward Sam. Finally, her eyes met Troy's. "I'm officially scared."Troy grinned.
"I think you've been officially scared for quite a while." {Troy is right. How could she not be. In fact whe her stalkers were unknown. Fear of the unkown is what fuels suspense movies.}
2. Anna stopped and took a deep breath. "Troy, I'm staying here. I'm done running. Sam can move inside the lobby if he wants, but I have a job I need to keep and a son to raise." {This is a great turning poit for Anna. Although she knows Bobby's nefarious associates have stalked her to her job, she finally has enough courage to stay at work and rely on her protectors.}
I can feel the law closing in on Bobby and his friends. It's time for them to be reunited behind bars.
Love and Irish Hugs for a great post.
Roger
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from smudge
A well written easy to read chapter. The characters are believable and the storyline is handled with sensitivity. A very professional write.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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A well written easy to read chapter. The characters are believable and the storyline is handled with sensitivity. A very professional write.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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You gave me a five star review, but only four stars. I don't understand what I need to improve to get five stars. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from emmaysavage
I llke it that you are taking time with this. So many writers tell the story as if healing comes quick upon insight. You bring home the facts about how fears build on each other and how hard it is to find reassurance.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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I llke it that you are taking time with this. So many writers tell the story as if healing comes quick upon insight. You bring home the facts about how fears build on each other and how hard it is to find reassurance.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from hellion5
Excellent chapter! The dialogue is believable and true to character. You're doing a great job of building the tension and I can't wait to see what happens next. I couldn't even find any spag, though not for lack of trying.
Exceptional--
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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Excellent chapter! The dialogue is believable and true to character. You're doing a great job of building the tension and I can't wait to see what happens next. I couldn't even find any spag, though not for lack of trying.
Exceptional--
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and support..
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
Splendid ending for this chapter. Somewhere along the line we have to stand up against those who would try to take away our natural God-given rights.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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Splendid ending for this chapter. Somewhere along the line we have to stand up against those who would try to take away our natural God-given rights.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from bkbehera
It is a nicely written chapter with the theme of bringing awareness against abuse prevailing in our society, mostly in metro culture civilization. Conversion of Anna with different characters is dramatically described. It is extremely impressive.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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It is a nicely written chapter with the theme of bringing awareness against abuse prevailing in our society, mostly in metro culture civilization. Conversion of Anna with different characters is dramatically described. It is extremely impressive.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Barb. You are a superb writer, my friend. This is a good chapter. Your images are excellent and your dialogue is spot on. I have a couple of suggestions, if you don't mind, tho:
"make sure you're safe." He left." It's assumed, especially by the next sentence that "he left" I don't think you need it, barb.
""I'll come by tonight after work. It'll be later than usual, probably..." (I'm not one for using excessive tags...and I looked at this twice. I think you should say something like, "Keller, or Mr.Keller said, ........ In order to distinguish the two people. I know it should be evident but the bit about "getting back to work" could mean either one is saying this...do You agree?
Small stuff, I know.
"Anna's eyes met his" (Her eyes met his)
Great job overall, Barb....Bob
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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Hi, Barb. You are a superb writer, my friend. This is a good chapter. Your images are excellent and your dialogue is spot on. I have a couple of suggestions, if you don't mind, tho:
"make sure you're safe." He left." It's assumed, especially by the next sentence that "he left" I don't think you need it, barb.
""I'll come by tonight after work. It'll be later than usual, probably..." (I'm not one for using excessive tags...and I looked at this twice. I think you should say something like, "Keller, or Mr.Keller said, ........ In order to distinguish the two people. I know it should be evident but the bit about "getting back to work" could mean either one is saying this...do You agree?
Small stuff, I know.
"Anna's eyes met his" (Her eyes met his)
Great job overall, Barb....Bob
Comment Written 13-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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I see what you are saying I will make those changes. Thank you.
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:) Bob
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
barbara:
That's what bullies want -- to make one feel unsafe and
to feel as if she will only be safe if she keeps on the
move. Hiding in plain sight is actually a better plan,
especially when one has two private eyes on the job. At
least if forces the bullies to come to your turf.
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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barbara:
That's what bullies want -- to make one feel unsafe and
to feel as if she will only be safe if she keeps on the
move. Hiding in plain sight is actually a better plan,
especially when one has two private eyes on the job. At
least if forces the bullies to come to your turf.
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
Comment Written 13-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara ...
You certainly have provided your readers with nail-biting tension in this chapter which is well written and makes for easy reading.
There is just one small change you may consider ...
* You have - He turned to leave, then turned back around.
I suggest ... He turned to leave, then looked back, as if to retrace his steps.
(This avoids repetition of the word 'turned')
I now look forward to the next chapter.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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Hullo Barbara ...
You certainly have provided your readers with nail-biting tension in this chapter which is well written and makes for easy reading.
There is just one small change you may consider ...
* You have - He turned to leave, then turned back around.
I suggest ... He turned to leave, then looked back, as if to retrace his steps.
(This avoids repetition of the word 'turned')
I now look forward to the next chapter.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2012
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Thank you for catching that. I will make the change.