Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 77 "Runt"Assorted poetry
8 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
I admired your response to the prompt and your use of the sonnet form with alternating rhymes. I admired your vivid descriptions, as in "fanged alliance" and your "chant" metaphor. Thanks for the notes and best wishes in the contest with this compelling entry. -Joan
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2012
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I admired your response to the prompt and your use of the sonnet form with alternating rhymes. I admired your vivid descriptions, as in "fanged alliance" and your "chant" metaphor. Thanks for the notes and best wishes in the contest with this compelling entry. -Joan
Comment Written 13-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2012
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Thank you for your kind and encouraging review.
Comment from ennahanid
I have a thing for wolves and believe them to be very misunderstood. I liked this entry of yours for the Wolf challenge. Very sad they turned on one of their own, not normal for them I don't believe. You make the reader feel their hunger and need and you make this reader feel sorry for them.
They are a lot like the human, good parenting skills, protective and very loyal.
I really enjoyed this read...thank you
Dinah
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
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I have a thing for wolves and believe them to be very misunderstood. I liked this entry of yours for the Wolf challenge. Very sad they turned on one of their own, not normal for them I don't believe. You make the reader feel their hunger and need and you make this reader feel sorry for them.
They are a lot like the human, good parenting skills, protective and very loyal.
I really enjoyed this read...thank you
Dinah
Comment Written 10-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
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Dinah, Thank you for your review. This went through a couple revisions that began with her leading the pack at the end. Neither outcome seems to be reality.
Comment from mazi jee
Nice poem.
Knowldegde about hunting makes poem sensational.
Simple words.
Simple reality of life is there.
Its matter of survival.
Poet is using imaginative jungle like environment.
Can you tell me about its rhyme scheme and syllable pattern?
Please share it.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
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Nice poem.
Knowldegde about hunting makes poem sensational.
Simple words.
Simple reality of life is there.
Its matter of survival.
Poet is using imaginative jungle like environment.
Can you tell me about its rhyme scheme and syllable pattern?
Please share it.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
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This poem began as a free verse. It originally had an internal rhyme along with an occasional end-word rhyme. To satisfy restrictions for a WOLF poem contest, I made the rhyme scheme more deliberate and eliminated other lines all together. The rhyme scheme that remained was ABAB CDCD EBEB EE. The syllable count per line, although mostly seven, was not a conscious design. Thank you for for thoughtful and kind review.
Comment from adewpearl
good use of alternate-line rhyme in your quatrains followed by a strong closing couplet
vivid descriptive detail with good sensory appeal
I love "fanged alliance" and its rhyme with silence
This is a stunning portrait of this runt and the pack that she was born into Brooke
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2012
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good use of alternate-line rhyme in your quatrains followed by a strong closing couplet
vivid descriptive detail with good sensory appeal
I love "fanged alliance" and its rhyme with silence
This is a stunning portrait of this runt and the pack that she was born into Brooke
Comment Written 09-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2012
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Brooke, Thank you for your kind and encouraging review.
Comment from Earl of Oxford
Thanks very much for entering your excellent poem, Bill.
However, you have not complied with a clear contest rule:
NO ARTWORK ALLOWED
You still have over a day til deadline, so please delete the artwork.
Also, I can't see a clear rhyme pattern, though you have some rhyme, so that's OK.
Good luck and best wishes, earl
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
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Thanks very much for entering your excellent poem, Bill.
However, you have not complied with a clear contest rule:
NO ARTWORK ALLOWED
You still have over a day til deadline, so please delete the artwork.
Also, I can't see a clear rhyme pattern, though you have some rhyme, so that's OK.
Good luck and best wishes, earl
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the heads up. I'll rework it. Bill
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Thanks, Bill.
Comment from Bobbi22
This is a very detailed poem about the wolf. It is hard to imagine the runt becoming the leader though. Although you do have rhyme, the rhyme scheme is hard to distinguish, plus some rhymes are more near rhymes. A space is also needed after devour and before the parenthesis. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2012
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This is a very detailed poem about the wolf. It is hard to imagine the runt becoming the leader though. Although you do have rhyme, the rhyme scheme is hard to distinguish, plus some rhymes are more near rhymes. A space is also needed after devour and before the parenthesis. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2012
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Thank you for your thoughtful review. I like more consonance and slant rhyming than straight up end rhyme. I agree that the runt wouldn't make it past breakfast in the wild.
Comment from Elizabeth Daniels
A very gripping tale of the wolves on the hunt and during their feeding. Also I learned something about wolves in your poem and notes. Elizabeth Daniels.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2012
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A very gripping tale of the wolves on the hunt and during their feeding. Also I learned something about wolves in your poem and notes. Elizabeth Daniels.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2012
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Thank you Elizabeth for your kind and thoughtful review. Bill
Comment from Chris Davis
I think you did a really good job telling the life of what it would be like to be a runt in a wolf pack... although I hazard to say I doubt runts live.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2012
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I think you did a really good job telling the life of what it would be like to be a runt in a wolf pack... although I hazard to say I doubt runts live.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2012
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Chris, thank you for reviewing me. My guess is the runt won't live in the contest either. N'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk.
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Let's hope he does...