My Judo Lesson-(Free Verse)
Martial arts class8 total reviews
Comment from Bobby Jo
A time with brothers you grow up. And to write about your Judo lessons was a wonderful idea. I believe when you grow up with siblings, you share a gift that connects you to each other's soul. Great poem.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
  |
A time with brothers you grow up. And to write about your Judo lessons was a wonderful idea. I believe when you grow up with siblings, you share a gift that connects you to each other's soul. Great poem.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
-
thank you It is nice do interact with family members in such a fun way
Comment from MidnightWriter4U
It seems your parents knew that instilling confidence and courage in one so young was important. I do hope you enjoyed your judo lessons and benefited from them.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
|
It seems your parents knew that instilling confidence and courage in one so young was important. I do hope you enjoyed your judo lessons and benefited from them.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
-
thank you I enjoyed achieving different colour belts.
-
You are welcome. KeeYah. :)
Comment from Solitude Poet
Hey there!
Its really nice to hear about the judo lesson you learnt and is interesting!
Nice contest entry! All the best! :)
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
|
Hey there!
Its really nice to hear about the judo lesson you learnt and is interesting!
Nice contest entry! All the best! :)
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
-
thank you
Comment from dragonpoet
This seems like you don't want to rely on your brothers any more for protection. It seems with each to belt you get more self assurance.
The rhythm is good in this free verse poem with some rhyming.
The second stanza seems off a little. Maybe the last few lines could be
The ability believe in yourself
And build on what you have learnt
In practicing the art of Judo
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
 |
This seems like you don't want to rely on your brothers any more for protection. It seems with each to belt you get more self assurance.
The rhythm is good in this free verse poem with some rhyming.
The second stanza seems off a little. Maybe the last few lines could be
The ability believe in yourself
And build on what you have learnt
In practicing the art of Judo
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
-
thanks
-
No problem
-
You're welcome.
dragonpoet
Comment from ruhama
Your depiction of the childhood memory of being sent to judo with your brothers is good. I felt that the flow of the poem could have been enhanced by a more structured scheme. I liked the idea of the progression to different colors being a symbol of achieving what you believe; a good life lesson.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
|
Your depiction of the childhood memory of being sent to judo with your brothers is good. I felt that the flow of the poem could have been enhanced by a more structured scheme. I liked the idea of the progression to different colors being a symbol of achieving what you believe; a good life lesson.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
-
Thank you
Comment from rhonny
You are making a good effort to write a rhyming poem about judo lessons, but have set yourself a hard task. Some of your line endings rhyme, but not all of them, and you need a certain rhythm as well and some of your words and lines seem to be out of sync. Keep working though.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
|
You are making a good effort to write a rhyming poem about judo lessons, but have set yourself a hard task. Some of your line endings rhyme, but not all of them, and you need a certain rhythm as well and some of your words and lines seem to be out of sync. Keep working though.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
-
Thanks
-
:) rhonny
Comment from Righteous Riter
The writer is very descriptive in this piece. The writer allows the reader to paint a picture of what's going on in this story. This piece reminds me of taking my daughter to taekwondo lessons as she was too lazy to go through with. Wasted my money (smile). Thank you for sharing this.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
|
The writer is very descriptive in this piece. The writer allows the reader to paint a picture of what's going on in this story. This piece reminds me of taking my daughter to taekwondo lessons as she was too lazy to go through with. Wasted my money (smile). Thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
-
Thank you-I am glad you enjoyed my poem
Comment from Brocha1
a wonderful poem. The flow is excellent. The combination of different syllable lengths contributes to an excellent poem.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
 |
a wonderful poem. The flow is excellent. The combination of different syllable lengths contributes to an excellent poem.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
-
Thankyou-I appreciate you liking and enjoying my poem