Chasing Butterflies
Short free style17 total reviews
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Hello GregoryCody,
Haven't seen anything from you in a while. Hope all is well with you.
A terrific write, chock full of imagery, in it's almost manic presentation of someone 'just on the edge'.
Liked your colour contrast in "white ice" and "crimson tears" ... yet the sentiments blend together.
Your 'piece de resistance' ending of "this door has no handle to hold on to anymore though" sums up the preceding panic conveyed in your poem.
Well done! (am out of sixes or I'd give you one)
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Hello GregoryCody,
Haven't seen anything from you in a while. Hope all is well with you.
A terrific write, chock full of imagery, in it's almost manic presentation of someone 'just on the edge'.
Liked your colour contrast in "white ice" and "crimson tears" ... yet the sentiments blend together.
Your 'piece de resistance' ending of "this door has no handle to hold on to anymore though" sums up the preceding panic conveyed in your poem.
Well done! (am out of sixes or I'd give you one)
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
Comment Written 07-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Connie I'm sorry I just saw this. Thank you so very much. Really. I'm sorry I've been a little sick. I thank you from my heart though. Truly.
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No problem, GregoryCody. I hope you are beginning to feel better, and just were indeed a "little sick" and not a 'lot sick'. Take care!
Connie
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Greg. Excellent images all the way through this piece. Well done.. I especially liked these lines:
"It draws laughter from my butterflies ~
whispers falling from a trumpet,
secretly subtle yet deafening,
playing audience privately to my panic"
Bravo! Bob
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Hi, Greg. Excellent images all the way through this piece. Well done.. I especially liked these lines:
"It draws laughter from my butterflies ~
whispers falling from a trumpet,
secretly subtle yet deafening,
playing audience privately to my panic"
Bravo! Bob
Comment Written 07-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thank you Bob! I'm sorry I just saw this. You are the best. I'm sorry I've been a little sick. Truly thank you.
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Get well soon, Greg. Bob
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
Oh wow, I'm not a poet and I do know poems can have more than one meaning but this poem feels sad and desperate. It is very well written. good job. God loves you and I do too.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Oh wow, I'm not a poet and I do know poems can have more than one meaning but this poem feels sad and desperate. It is very well written. good job. God loves you and I do too.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thank you for saying that. I pray everyday. God bless you.
Comment from Treischel
A very compelling free style poem that strongly conveys an anguished and tired mind. I love the imagery you used that juxtapose oxymoronic thoughts to create an artistic tension,
sharp shards of white ice,
dripping crimson tears
Or
It draws laughter from my butterflies ~
whispers falling from a trumpet,
secretly subtle yet deafening,
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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A very compelling free style poem that strongly conveys an anguished and tired mind. I love the imagery you used that juxtapose oxymoronic thoughts to create an artistic tension,
sharp shards of white ice,
dripping crimson tears
Or
It draws laughter from my butterflies ~
whispers falling from a trumpet,
secretly subtle yet deafening,
Comment Written 06-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thank you! I'm sorry I've been a little sick. I just saw this. Once gin, coming from you this means ALOT. I'm truly humbled and grateful. Really, thank you from my heart.
Comment from kiwijenny
I love your imagery. You get a six because you more than anyone else write in a way that resonates a chord with me...and dear friend I have given in to insomnia it is my muse. In the coffee of the night great verse percolates . And sometimes very very silly verses ...like a poet is not averse to a verse........actually as the Germans would say ..It is getting verse and verse.
God bless dear friend ...and Phil 4:8 :o)
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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I love your imagery. You get a six because you more than anyone else write in a way that resonates a chord with me...and dear friend I have given in to insomnia it is my muse. In the coffee of the night great verse percolates . And sometimes very very silly verses ...like a poet is not averse to a verse........actually as the Germans would say ..It is getting verse and verse.
God bless dear friend ...and Phil 4:8 :o)
Comment Written 06-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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WOW. Thank you! I'm so sorry I've been a little sick. I just saw this! I'm so embarrassed I didn't get to this sooner. You've warmed my heart today. Truly. I'm so grateful. "Coffee of the night" great line. Your review is poetic in itself! Beautiful. Like you. Thank you Jenny. Truly.
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I'm sorry you've been sick. Get well soon :o)
Comment from Sally Carter
Somehow I've never come across your work before, Gregory, but this is an impressive write. I gather you have been unwell, so I'm really sorry about that and hope things are looking up for you.
A real sense of fear comes across in this poem, that's for sure. Just the start, of being in a closet, is a chilling opening.
The imagery in that second stanza is remarkable - the contrast between the red and the white, the associations with wild animals, perhaps the moon/lunacy?, hot and cold. I have a small issue with "shards", which now muscles its way into so many poems. I believe that correctly it refers to fragments of pottery, so I guess there's no reason why it can't be used with poetic licence to refer to any sharp fragment, but it does seem to work overtime these days, lol.
More superb imagery in the next stanza. Laughter from butterflies and whispers from a trumpet. The second is even better than the first, for me. It must take so much effort to produce a sound from a trumpet, and then all that emerges is a whisper.
"My back lies flat against the sting of tomorrow" is another very original phrase. Each reader will perhaps have his/her own fear they will find in that line.
The door without a handle is a great ending, linking up to the opening. There is also a resonance with that phrase "to get a handle on things". I don't know whether you intended that, or it's just coincidence.
A fine poem, and if it's autobiographical, I hope your nights are soon more peaceful.
Best wishes
Sally
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Somehow I've never come across your work before, Gregory, but this is an impressive write. I gather you have been unwell, so I'm really sorry about that and hope things are looking up for you.
A real sense of fear comes across in this poem, that's for sure. Just the start, of being in a closet, is a chilling opening.
The imagery in that second stanza is remarkable - the contrast between the red and the white, the associations with wild animals, perhaps the moon/lunacy?, hot and cold. I have a small issue with "shards", which now muscles its way into so many poems. I believe that correctly it refers to fragments of pottery, so I guess there's no reason why it can't be used with poetic licence to refer to any sharp fragment, but it does seem to work overtime these days, lol.
More superb imagery in the next stanza. Laughter from butterflies and whispers from a trumpet. The second is even better than the first, for me. It must take so much effort to produce a sound from a trumpet, and then all that emerges is a whisper.
"My back lies flat against the sting of tomorrow" is another very original phrase. Each reader will perhaps have his/her own fear they will find in that line.
The door without a handle is a great ending, linking up to the opening. There is also a resonance with that phrase "to get a handle on things". I don't know whether you intended that, or it's just coincidence.
A fine poem, and if it's autobiographical, I hope your nights are soon more peaceful.
Best wishes
Sally
Comment Written 06-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Hmm I see what you mean with shards. I cannot, cannot tell you how AMAZING this review is. You're amazing. I've been sick yes, I just saw this. I'm embarrassed it took this long to see this. Your review is remarkable, so so insightful. You literally understood everything. Moon lunacy. You're brilliant! No one has gotten me so well. Thank you. You've really touched me today. That means a lot, especially now. I mean this, thank you.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Ah-h-h-h. yes, a door with no handle. And to be locked inside, like a small child, being punished by a cruel parent, left your grasping for something that just wasn't there...like those all elusive butterflies. Love, perhaps, was what you were looking for? Friendship, security? It could be a number of things and nothing at all, simultaneously. Scary when that happens...
Great write, Gregory. Glad to see you're able to bang away at a keyboard, at least.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Ah-h-h-h. yes, a door with no handle. And to be locked inside, like a small child, being punished by a cruel parent, left your grasping for something that just wasn't there...like those all elusive butterflies. Love, perhaps, was what you were looking for? Friendship, security? It could be a number of things and nothing at all, simultaneously. Scary when that happens...
Great write, Gregory. Glad to see you're able to bang away at a keyboard, at least.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Dean I've been sick as you know. I just saw. I'm sorry it took so long. Thank you friend, truly. You are a reason for me to keep writing. I always look forward to hearing from you. Ill be better soon.
Comment from mickbey
Very interesting poem, unique style and voice, creative images, has a haunting quality, interesting twists and turns, a poem I'll likely read again, there's a lot to digest at one reading but there was a lot going on and I felt like I experienced something when I got thru reading, that's why I give it a six.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Very interesting poem, unique style and voice, creative images, has a haunting quality, interesting twists and turns, a poem I'll likely read again, there's a lot to digest at one reading but there was a lot going on and I felt like I experienced something when I got thru reading, that's why I give it a six.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Wow! I've been sick. I just saw this. I'm so sorry it took so long. Again, I've been a little ill. I'm blown away by your review. Truly you have helped me today. I mean this, thank you. It seems like you might know what I'm going through.
Comment from Spitfire
I feel so many emotions here: worry,pain, panic, anxiety but most of all fear. Favorite lines:
It draws laughter from my butterflies ~
whispers falling from a trumpet,
And wow! what an ending!
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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I feel so many emotions here: worry,pain, panic, anxiety but most of all fear. Favorite lines:
It draws laughter from my butterflies ~
whispers falling from a trumpet,
And wow! what an ending!
Comment Written 05-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much. I love your reviews. I'm so so sorry it took so long to reply. I just saw this. I've been a little sick. I'm so immensely grateful. Thank you thank you. Truly. You're the best.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
It sounds as though a child is locked in a closet. That's how I read it anyhow.
It is really a great metaphore and the imagery is very profound...It draws laughter from my butterflies ~[fear?]
whispers falling from a trumpet[wanting to scream but can't]
secretly subtle yet deafening,
playing audience privately to my panic. Really good Cody. Nancy
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2013
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It sounds as though a child is locked in a closet. That's how I read it anyhow.
It is really a great metaphore and the imagery is very profound...It draws laughter from my butterflies ~[fear?]
whispers falling from a trumpet[wanting to scream but can't]
secretly subtle yet deafening,
playing audience privately to my panic. Really good Cody. Nancy
Comment Written 05-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2013
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Thank you! You got it SPOT ON. It is fear. And it is wanting to scream but can't. Just a very soft hiss. I'm so glad you liked it. It means a lot. You took time to review and point out your favorites, that's special to me. Thank you from my heart. I've been sick but I'm getting better. Ill be back to writing more and reviewing at my normal rate soon. I'm on my way. Thank you so very much Nancy. My friends call me Greg btw. ;)
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Sorry you were sick but happy you are feeling better Greg. It's good to see you
again.