Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Juliet"A collection of poems on these themes
104 total reviews
Comment from heavenempress
Excellent piece of work. I followed the sad love story that ended in a tragedy. It's unfortunate her love became a suspect who because of grief failed to defend himself. The death sentence became an opportunity to meet again with Juliet. Well-written and we'll presented. Keep it up
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Excellent piece of work. I followed the sad love story that ended in a tragedy. It's unfortunate her love became a suspect who because of grief failed to defend himself. The death sentence became an opportunity to meet again with Juliet. Well-written and we'll presented. Keep it up
Comment Written 17-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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...or did he really kill her?!
Thanks for reading intelligently and reviewing.
Steve
Comment from BenThrone
Ahhh, NOW I see why you had Poe-brain! What a fantastic poem! You are quite right, this is a hard style--that is, hard to do well and not have it sound sing-songy. You dodged this trap adroitly, and in the process weave a great tale with a tragic twist. I already said this regarding another poem I reviewed this evening, but I wish I was this talented!
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Ahhh, NOW I see why you had Poe-brain! What a fantastic poem! You are quite right, this is a hard style--that is, hard to do well and not have it sound sing-songy. You dodged this trap adroitly, and in the process weave a great tale with a tragic twist. I already said this regarding another poem I reviewed this evening, but I wish I was this talented!
Comment Written 17-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Poe-brain indeed. It is easy to get fixated on the patterns of a particular form/style.
I am fortunate to have some facility with rhyme and meter, but this was challenging and I don't seem to have the fortitude for such stuff any more.
Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I really enjoyed this when I got into the rhythm. You really got Poe's rhyme and cadence in this work. I'm not surprised it has so many awards. I should think your poetry book did well after reading this.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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I really enjoyed this when I got into the rhythm. You really got Poe's rhyme and cadence in this work. I'm not surprised it has so many awards. I should think your poetry book did well after reading this.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Carol - glad you enjoyed.
Alas the book languishes on Amazon, as most poetry books do. The challenge is to get more viewers to the site!
Steve
Comment from GWHARGIS
I did enjoy this Poe-esque poem. I like the dream like quality of it. Was he mad, was he calculated, was he multi personality, or was he framed. We shall never know. But, if he was as innocent as he claimed, he would get his wish to be reunited with his beloved Juliette. Wonderfully written. Gretchen
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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I did enjoy this Poe-esque poem. I like the dream like quality of it. Was he mad, was he calculated, was he multi personality, or was he framed. We shall never know. But, if he was as innocent as he claimed, he would get his wish to be reunited with his beloved Juliette. Wonderfully written. Gretchen
Comment Written 16-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Gretchen. Yes, I like to write poems which are open to interpretation. I think we tend to identify and sympathise with a narrator, but maybe this guy doesn't deserve it!
Steve
Comment from Faith Williams
Wow! What an amazing poem, Steve! It does indeed flow and rhyme like Poe's "Raven" and is quite creepy. You also have some great alliteration in here with 'sloth-like slumber' and 'stormy sea of sorrow'. Thank you for reviving the post as I thoroughly enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Wow! What an amazing poem, Steve! It does indeed flow and rhyme like Poe's "Raven" and is quite creepy. You also have some great alliteration in here with 'sloth-like slumber' and 'stormy sea of sorrow'. Thank you for reviving the post as I thoroughly enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Many thanks, Faith, for the kind words. Glad you enjoyed my wee murder mystery and my venture into Poe's dark world.
Steve
Comment from Loretta Bigg
Well this certainly is a lovely tribute to Poe and poor Lenore, but it's more than that. It actually has beautiful language twisting together in a beautiful way. Sorry about Juliet's fate as well.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Well this certainly is a lovely tribute to Poe and poor Lenore, but it's more than that. It actually has beautiful language twisting together in a beautiful way. Sorry about Juliet's fate as well.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Loretta. Glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from jenintorre
Wow! What a thrilling and well written poem. A complete novel in a poem. I was gripped from start to finish.
So glad you revived and shared it. Best wishes. Jen.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Wow! What a thrilling and well written poem. A complete novel in a poem. I was gripped from start to finish.
So glad you revived and shared it. Best wishes. Jen.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Jen, thanks for the enthusiastic review and the sixth shiny star.
Glad you enjoyed the ride!
Steve
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Steve,
What an undertaking. It seems to mix Poe and Shakespeare. You switch out Eleanor and nevermore for Juliet, It is hard to tell weather he is guilty of not. But if he isn't guilty of the murder, then he might be of a kind of suicide to get back with Juliet. A lot to go through for a girl you just met.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great rest of the weekend.
Joan
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Hi Steve,
What an undertaking. It seems to mix Poe and Shakespeare. You switch out Eleanor and nevermore for Juliet, It is hard to tell weather he is guilty of not. But if he isn't guilty of the murder, then he might be of a kind of suicide to get back with Juliet. A lot to go through for a girl you just met.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great rest of the weekend.
Joan
Comment Written 15-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Joan. I wasn't actually thinking of Shakespeare when I chose the name Juliet for my victim - more important at the time was to find a name that fitted the rhyme and the meter! I recall struggling to find new rhyming words ending in -et since that rhyme crops up throughout the poem.
And yes, the true story is left somewhat ambiguous deliberately. Do we feel sorry for this guy or do we condemn him?
Steve
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You are most kindly welcome, Steve.
Enjoy your day.
Joan
Comment from JT traveller
Good rhythm and internal rhyme Steve. It would be nice to see it layed out on a book page as clearly, on a phone, the words are compressed horizontally.
I enjoyed the final twist. A fine poem. J
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Good rhythm and internal rhyme Steve. It would be nice to see it layed out on a book page as clearly, on a phone, the words are compressed horizontally.
I enjoyed the final twist. A fine poem. J
Comment Written 15-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Thank you. Yep, I don't think I could do FanStory on a phone!
Steve
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I travel most of the year.. I use my laptop to write novels and my phone for FS. Jacqueline
Comment from Paul McFarland
That's a good one, Steve. I wrote a poem using the same meter. As you say, it is not an easy task. You poem deals with a Poe-like topic, where mine is humorous.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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That's a good one, Steve. I wrote a poem using the same meter. As you say, it is not an easy task. You poem deals with a Poe-like topic, where mine is humorous.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Paul. I've probably done a few parodies of poems now - it's probably easier to mock the original rather than create something serious.
Steve