The Bounty Hunter
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Night with an Angel"Supernatural Bounty Hunter
12 total reviews
Comment from Mike Battaglia
Mr Lancellot sir,
I don't think I've ever had the pleasure of reading your work. I'm sure if I had, I would have remembered such fine and gritty imagery. I usually don't like to read random chapters of larger works. I'm a purist, and doing this feels like walking into a movie that has already began. I feel left out. Luckily, in this case, I can go back and start from the beginning...
You've crafted what feels like a gritty noir, but with a fantasy twist. What made it work for me is the realism in which you painted it. The suspension of disbelief. That is perhaps the greatest indicator of a writer's talent, and you, sir, have achieved this.
You didn't go overboard with the fantasy element, but rather described it in such a nonchalant way as to make me believe it was the norm - the gun, the injuries, the angel appearing... even the image of her wings - all in the scenery of a dank and dark motel room (Dank and dark... maybe use the thesaurus on this one. Two four letter adjectives beginning with 'D' kind of fumbles the inner tongue. Just my humble opinion. I stand by my five stars)
A true writer does not write, a true writer enters the world they imagine and dictates what they see. That's the feeling I got from this. Well done Mr. Lancellot sir.
--Mike
  |
Mr Lancellot sir,
I don't think I've ever had the pleasure of reading your work. I'm sure if I had, I would have remembered such fine and gritty imagery. I usually don't like to read random chapters of larger works. I'm a purist, and doing this feels like walking into a movie that has already began. I feel left out. Luckily, in this case, I can go back and start from the beginning...
You've crafted what feels like a gritty noir, but with a fantasy twist. What made it work for me is the realism in which you painted it. The suspension of disbelief. That is perhaps the greatest indicator of a writer's talent, and you, sir, have achieved this.
You didn't go overboard with the fantasy element, but rather described it in such a nonchalant way as to make me believe it was the norm - the gun, the injuries, the angel appearing... even the image of her wings - all in the scenery of a dank and dark motel room (Dank and dark... maybe use the thesaurus on this one. Two four letter adjectives beginning with 'D' kind of fumbles the inner tongue. Just my humble opinion. I stand by my five stars)
A true writer does not write, a true writer enters the world they imagine and dictates what they see. That's the feeling I got from this. Well done Mr. Lancellot sir.
--Mike
Comment Written 20-Oct-2013
Comment from Tina McKala
Wow, very sultry ambiance here. Is she a friend or a foe? This is amazing story, where even though one is devil's and one is god's servant, it is questionable who is good and who is not.
The sax scene was very lyrical, perfectly described through feelings and not the action - that's how it works the best.
|
Wow, very sultry ambiance here. Is she a friend or a foe? This is amazing story, where even though one is devil's and one is god's servant, it is questionable who is good and who is not.
The sax scene was very lyrical, perfectly described through feelings and not the action - that's how it works the best.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2013
Comment from Twilightspire
Excellently written! The only change I would make would be switching Colt for gun on occasion. The pace was perfect for this chapter, not slow but not barrel run fast. The descriptive work was tidy and wonderfully scripted. You handled the love scene with taste and perfect maturity. The whole helped delve more into Samuel's world. I loved it. Thank you.
-T.J.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
|
Excellently written! The only change I would make would be switching Colt for gun on occasion. The pace was perfect for this chapter, not slow but not barrel run fast. The descriptive work was tidy and wonderfully scripted. You handled the love scene with taste and perfect maturity. The whole helped delve more into Samuel's world. I loved it. Thank you.
-T.J.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
-
Thank you, T.J. I was thinking about that today while writing chapters 5 and 6.
Comment from allborn66
This is a wonderful chapter. The words stir vivid mental images. I like the interplay of the characters, including the gun. I think I found a typo - "Start making since" I think you meant "start making sense."
Barbara
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
|
This is a wonderful chapter. The words stir vivid mental images. I like the interplay of the characters, including the gun. I think I found a typo - "Start making since" I think you meant "start making sense."
Barbara
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
-
Thank you. Yes, that is a typo or my bad spelling.
Comment from Darkhorse555
from the pictured piece from the title falling down reading i loved the part were she sang to him a very beautifully penned enjoyable read
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
|
from the pictured piece from the title falling down reading i loved the part were she sang to him a very beautifully penned enjoyable read
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from judiverse
Thanks to the Colt and the mysterious woman, Samuel has escaped the grim reaper. To me, the Colt is ambiguous and can be used either good or evil purposes. It has its own will, anyway. Excellent dialogue. I suppose that's every man's dream, the vision of a nude angel. This vision and t Jessie, the woman, he'd seen previously, are the same. He observes that she does have power over him. We've yet to see what her game is. How can she help him (if she hasn't already) and how can he help her? judi
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
|
Thanks to the Colt and the mysterious woman, Samuel has escaped the grim reaper. To me, the Colt is ambiguous and can be used either good or evil purposes. It has its own will, anyway. Excellent dialogue. I suppose that's every man's dream, the vision of a nude angel. This vision and t Jessie, the woman, he'd seen previously, are the same. He observes that she does have power over him. We've yet to see what her game is. How can she help him (if she hasn't already) and how can he help her? judi
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
-
Thank you. the next chapter will answer a little more about the Colt, and what Jessie wants.
-
You're so welcome. I know it takes time to develop those things. judi
-
You're so welcome. I know it takes time to develop those things. judi
Comment from pbroussard209
Great chapter. I got to tell ya, I'm loving this story. It is a great take and the whole angels and demon theme. Your characters seem to come alive and you managed to make the reader want the bounty hunter to live .
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
|
Great chapter. I got to tell ya, I'm loving this story. It is a great take and the whole angels and demon theme. Your characters seem to come alive and you managed to make the reader want the bounty hunter to live .
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
-
Thank you.
Comment from Silent1rose
He cried out in pain as the bullets lodged in (his) back expelled themselves from his body,
OMG!! This gave me chills!! And they're multiplying and I'm losing control!!! ^^ Very great chapter! Very well written. I'm glad the hunter can rest lol ~ Rose
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
|
He cried out in pain as the bullets lodged in (his) back expelled themselves from his body,
OMG!! This gave me chills!! And they're multiplying and I'm losing control!!! ^^ Very great chapter! Very well written. I'm glad the hunter can rest lol ~ Rose
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
-
Thank you, for the review and the catch. I always miss a word here and there. The mind sees what eyes do not.
-
You're welcome :)
Comment from Anthony Crosbie
This is beautifully written and was a captivating read. The dialogue and descriptions are very accomplished and give the chapter a real depth.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
|
This is beautifully written and was a captivating read. The dialogue and descriptions are very accomplished and give the chapter a real depth.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
-
Thank you.
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good strong introduction. The tone and setting is set from the start. Good transition of events within the body of of this chapter. Good character balance. Nice steady pace that leads to a good conclusion.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
|
Good strong introduction. The tone and setting is set from the start. Good transition of events within the body of of this chapter. Good character balance. Nice steady pace that leads to a good conclusion.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
-
Thank you