Comment from BeasPeas

Good

Of course you know that the correct ending for line two would be bathe but then first line and second line would not rhyme. Bath and Hath although rhyming throw off the flow as does "saw him" and "smiled with grim," although I get the concept of your piece. Would like to suggest rewrite to correct these areas. Last line is good.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thank you!

Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Good

It's okay for limericks to be nonsense, but I deducted one star from this one because the rhythm is also off and some of the words are incorrectly used: ("a [an] idle man"; "did not bath [bathe]"; "smiled with grim"; "fishes came in batch"). This seems likes too much poetic license even for a limerick. But you did start with a clever idea. Good luck, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thank you so much! :)

Comment from jadapenn

Excellent

Good thing I didn't live to near Hath. So many years without a bath. Those fishes probably had a feast on all the dirt on the silly soul. Well written for this contest. I love the humour. Best wishes. luv jada

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thank you so much, Jada! :)

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

indeed, this is nonsense from the fullest:) the odour of someone not taking a bath for 10 years is unbelievable!
thank you for sharing!
good luck in contest!
rebekka x

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thank you so much! :)