Reviews from

The Animal Doctor

Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Forbidden Hearts"
Love Among the Thorns

13 total reviews 
Comment from Schalk Jacobs
Excellent
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Well Nate has just done the wrong thing and I suspect this is going to cost him dearly in the long run. Very food writing with excellent word choice. Like the way you manage to create the mood of a place through words.

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
    Thank you. Glad to see you're enjoying this story.
Comment from Zue65
Excellent
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The elicit affair between Nate and Margaret, is this a a major twist that will complicate matters for the animal doctor, Nate? Can it be just a passing fancy provided to add excitement in the story? That I have to find out in your next post. Well done.

 Comment Written 13-May-2014


reply by the author on 13-May-2014
    Thank you nassus. No, the story has been inching up to whether or not Nate could resist his long lost love. The woman who jilted him and broke his heart. He lost her in chapter one. This is the first time the two has ever been sexually intimate.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Excellent
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A man's strongest emotional convictions can be broken by a beautiful woman.
Nate shows he is human and gives in to the charms of his one true love,
Margaret.
A well written chapter which shows how even the strongest conviction can not withstand true love and lust.
Nicely plotted and paced and very true to life in accordance with the situation Nate found himself in.
However, he is married and surely there will be consequences for his blatant infidelity.

 Comment Written 13-May-2014


reply by the author on 13-May-2014
    Thank you for your thorough analysis of this chapter, seken.
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Excellent
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It has been a long time since I read about the Nathan, Grace and Margaret triangle . It was exciting and sultry as usual. I wonder how long it will take Grace to find out about this reunion between Nate and Margaret.
Well written, Carolyn

 Comment Written 13-May-2014


reply by the author on 13-May-2014
    Thank you Carolyn, sorry it took me so long to get back to the story. I was hoping no one had forgotten about it. I'm glad you didn't.
Comment from Ritsal
Excellent
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Goodness, I hope nothing happens to Morning Girl while the lovers are indulging themselves elsewhere. This is an interesting chapter and I want to see where it is headed.

fire place = fireplace

stocking-feet = no hyphen needed

Best wishes,
Rita

 Comment Written 12-May-2014


reply by the author on 12-May-2014
    Thank you so much, Ritsal. 'Spoiler Alert' Mourning Girl will be fine. LOL!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Wow! I'm glad I stopped in to see what's happening. He finally got together with Margaret. I can't believe he talked Grace into naming their child after his old love. Now what? This can't end well! Very good writing... believable scene. :)

 Comment Written 12-May-2014


reply by the author on 12-May-2014
    Thank you, Phillis. But Nate's mom's middle name is Margaret, that's how he got away with it. Hmmm LOL
Comment from Selina Stambi
Excellent
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Oh, these nasty femme fatales who tempt respectable, married men ... shame on her!

Well done, Aunty! Good dialogue and the length was just right.

There'll be hell to pay - why are men's brains in their pants? (A question my daughter asked me after she had to fend off a would be admirer!)

Love,

xxx

Sonali :)


One late evening, as he sat snoozing .. suggest: ... Late one evening

through the gate of Wainwright(')s luxurious

coming from the (open) door of the barn. He got out(,) and Joseph

! For God's (sake), don't leave. The words sat on his lips, but they never parted them

It's just (...) I know how much Morning Girl - I think you need 'that' here

through the unbutton(ed) top of her soft blue

When they finally broke (free from each other), she was
breathing

The warm wet(ness) of her tongue shot a jolt to his loins

further unburden(ed) themselves, while the moist air took on a slight chill, and the rain sounded (like) a

 Comment Written 12-May-2014


reply by the author on 12-May-2014
    Thank you so much. I've taken some of your suggestions and have fixed the problems. Blessings as always to you.
Comment from lindalcreel
Excellent
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I was hoping he could resist her charms and not hurt his wife and daughter, but once a player always a player, and this guy is no good. That doesn't say much for Margaret, knowing that he is in a relationship, but I doubt she cares. Excellent chapter. I wonder if someone will catch them, or if the guilt will overcome him and he'll admit to his infidelity.

 Comment Written 12-May-2014


reply by the author on 12-May-2014
    He's really not a player, just weak for his first love. I hated to make him cheat, but that's reality in many cases. Thank you so much for this fine review.
reply by lindalcreel on 12-May-2014
    I'm sure it will move the story forward. He is a man, but will his wife forgive him, probably not.
Comment from padumachitta
Excellent
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Hi. Nothing like a barn and hay to cause trouble. I like the story....admit I am pissed off at the mare's owner. I am a horse woman, this still happens...the mare ends up with sick foals and often with her getting Cushings...but the story is about people....please keep writing.
padumachitta

 Comment Written 12-May-2014


reply by the author on 12-May-2014
    Wow thank you for this knowledge. Maybe I should stop googling to find my info about horses. I can just talk to you. Lol
reply by padumachitta on 12-May-2014
    Hi. Been working horses since I was 4...that's 50 years. I don't know a lot, just what has come up. I do get pissed off at the way people breed a good mare year after year...some can take it(but often, the good ones can't)..
    I like your story, I will keep reading:-)
Comment from CR Delport
Excellent
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This is well written and makes for a nice read. The story flows nicely with good solid dialogue. Good job.
very much aware of her coquettishness. --- sounds a bit awkward: very much aware of her coquettish nature. ???

 Comment Written 12-May-2014


reply by the author on 12-May-2014
    Yeah, coquettishness is a bit much, I'll try to google and play around with some other words. Thanks for your review.