Reviews from

Short Form Poetry

Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Eternity"
A Collection Of Short Form Poetry

11 total reviews 
Comment from ragamuffin
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

An excellent and thought provoking piece. Quite exceptional to say so much in so few syllables. Your poem brought to my attention how much time I spend bemoaning the passing of time. I guess that's quite a waste of time.

 Comment Written 22-Apr-2014

Comment from mfowler
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You've summed up one of the greatest truths in teh universe. Our egos define life by time because it fits with the accepted way of being. Who can argue with being at work on time? But, as you say so succinctly here, our souls (our inner God-self) know that we are part of everything and are not held within those most basic of constructs.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014

Comment from w.j.debi
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I agree whole heartedly- time is men's invention. It is something we seem so committed to, but it feels so unnatural. It puts too much restraint on what we are and can be. I rarely give a six for these 5-7-5 poems, but this one speaks volumes to me. Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014

Comment from RodG
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Please, I mean this as no disrespect, but I would love to see this maxim used as a bumper sticker. It says so much, so well. Your choice of words is perfect.

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2014

Comment from Father Flaps
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Mystery Poet,
I enjoyed your 5-7-5 poem for the contest. All we know is what we hear, see and feel on this earth. Everything is regulated... numbers, days, weeks, months, years, money, etc.
Our souls are not bound by gravity, dates, or space. It's hard to imagine eternity in heaven, and even more difficult to understand an eternity in hell. I wrote a poem a while back somewhat similar, called "Inside Out"...I'll share it with you here,
" Inside Out

death ignores life
it pushes on toward its
final destination

but Christ died for us
and because of His sacrifice
life ignores death"
***********************
We think alike, you and I.
Good Luck in the contest!

blessings
Kimbob

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2014

Comment from akulkumol
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Does time has any limit? Only the clock clicks and reminds us what's the time. I could not grasp the meaning. I think the last line need a change(the word limit),.... just my suggestion.ð??? Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
    The 5-7-5 format refers to syllables not words. In other words, a word like "format" is two syllables (or beats)
    "such foolish limits"
    such = 1 syllable
    foolish = 2 syllables
    limits = 2 syllables
    you see? That is a total of 5 syllables which is what the "5" in 5-7-5 calls for. I hope that clears that up for you. The meaning is that in a spiritual sense our being or soul is immortal and lives forever and therefore is not bound by time. Man worries and concerns himself with time when in reality it doesn't matter because being in this body is only temporary. Perhaps you might want to revise your rating now. Thank you for reviewing.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
    Hi, I was making a little joke about revising your rating! But, I see that you did take the time to do that. That was very kind of you and unexpected. Thank you so much. Very appreciated. mikey
Comment from chicken scratch love
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Extremely powerful! To capture something of this magnitude in such a short write such as a 5-7-5 is amazing to me! I don't believe I've ever given a 6 star rating for something this small! Bravo! The best of luck to ya and thanks for the share! Well deserving of 6...INDEED!

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2014

Comment from Domino 2
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very deep-thinking and effective theme, mystery writer.

Indeed, our 'souls' don't have in-built clocks, and you cleverly infer they live forever, irrespective of what we call, 'time'.

Best wishes, Ted


 Comment Written 19-Apr-2014

Comment from rouskin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Mankind speaks of time our souls do not recognize such foolish limits Words of wisdom Very strong contender Probably the winnre best of luck and be blessed

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2014

Comment from nordicgirl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

There are a couple of entries are pretty good, but there is nothing
That compares to this in depth.
A complete philosophy stated perfectly.
NG

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2014