The Bard of Bel Air
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Roads to Los Angeles"A homeless man sees more than people realize.
11 total reviews
Comment from ravenblack
Good off-the-cuff, stream of consciousness observation by the Bard- stranded in the desert and there is one thing you can always count on- shopping is only five miles away. Strip malls and strip mines the same damn thing. Liked the Disney cameo!
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Good off-the-cuff, stream of consciousness observation by the Bard- stranded in the desert and there is one thing you can always count on- shopping is only five miles away. Strip malls and strip mines the same damn thing. Liked the Disney cameo!
Comment Written 03-May-2014
Comment from Tatarka2
This chapter is just confusing to me. I think you have too many characters in it, too much happening, and not enough backstory laid down on some of the minor players (Lincoln, Lucy, Isabel, Junior, etc.) It might actually be better as 3 chapters, since you're telling 3 different, very strong stories, here. The first 2 are especially compelling; the last is just confusing, at least in my opinion.
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This chapter is just confusing to me. I think you have too many characters in it, too much happening, and not enough backstory laid down on some of the minor players (Lincoln, Lucy, Isabel, Junior, etc.) It might actually be better as 3 chapters, since you're telling 3 different, very strong stories, here. The first 2 are especially compelling; the last is just confusing, at least in my opinion.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-May-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Man, I got to read it again. I know I missed something of importance. A lot happened here and some interesting twists. You are tricky, Mikey. I really must pay attention to collect me doubloons. Suspenseful, I like the chopper scene and the live action! I'm so far behind, got to pump me sunshine. Looking great! later Lion King. sorry, I was tardy.
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Man, I got to read it again. I know I missed something of importance. A lot happened here and some interesting twists. You are tricky, Mikey. I really must pay attention to collect me doubloons. Suspenseful, I like the chopper scene and the live action! I'm so far behind, got to pump me sunshine. Looking great! later Lion King. sorry, I was tardy.
Comment Written 01-May-2014
Comment from Sankey
Moving along nicely again. Drama and suspense with a touch of humour coming through it all ha. Dunno why but you got me stuck on reading this. One spag only.shine on them the(a)n had ever shone.
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Moving along nicely again. Drama and suspense with a touch of humour coming through it all ha. Dunno why but you got me stuck on reading this. One spag only.shine on them the(a)n had ever shone.
Comment Written 01-May-2014
Comment from seaglass
The escape is getting mote exciting and hi-tech. It's still engaging and keeping me on my toes. Each chapter leaves us in question, always a good strategy.
"a radiator (house)" Did you mean (hose)?
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The escape is getting mote exciting and hi-tech. It's still engaging and keeping me on my toes. Each chapter leaves us in question, always a good strategy.
"a radiator (house)" Did you mean (hose)?
Comment Written 01-May-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the story. Now, all roads are leading to Bel Air. The Brad and Harpster will be heading that way. Ruby will be causing a major explosion. Junior will have to get his head out of the clouds. Winston has be plotting something. I want to read on. Great work.
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I love the story. Now, all roads are leading to Bel Air. The Brad and Harpster will be heading that way. Ruby will be causing a major explosion. Junior will have to get his head out of the clouds. Winston has be plotting something. I want to read on. Great work.
Comment Written 01-May-2014
Comment from CR Delport
The bard is sure one funny character. Luckily for them they were on the ground when Winston blew up the chopper. Another great chapter.
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The bard is sure one funny character. Luckily for them they were on the ground when Winston blew up the chopper. Another great chapter.
Comment Written 01-May-2014
Comment from Michaelk
Good chapter. Things are starting in motion. Winston will get cocky now that he thinks he took care of bard and harpster. Ruby is flying into a hornets nest (you can use that line if you want to) and I'd be curious to see how a corrupt chief of police would handle harpster suddenly returning from the freezer.
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Good chapter. Things are starting in motion. Winston will get cocky now that he thinks he took care of bard and harpster. Ruby is flying into a hornets nest (you can use that line if you want to) and I'd be curious to see how a corrupt chief of police would handle harpster suddenly returning from the freezer.
Comment Written 01-May-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
Another excellent chapter. You manage to have an amazing amount of activty without losing cohesion. Just when it seems like it might unravel, you bring it back and tie it down. NG
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Another excellent chapter. You manage to have an amazing amount of activty without losing cohesion. Just when it seems like it might unravel, you bring it back and tie it down. NG
Comment Written 01-May-2014
Comment from Nosha17
I am sure you know which way it is heading and all the strands will be drawn together at the right time. Well written, the desert scene was well described and believable. Enjoyable read as always. Faye
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I am sure you know which way it is heading and all the strands will be drawn together at the right time. Well written, the desert scene was well described and believable. Enjoyable read as always. Faye
Comment Written 01-May-2014