Comment from billscott

Exceptional

Oh hell no...really?

That was freakin awesome Dean...still got the chills as I write this...holy crap...lol.

I have to come over to your side of the tracks more often and get a horror jolt!

We Ohians have to stick together!

I was born in Cleveland btw.

Great story!

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014

Thanks, Bil, and you're right, we do need to stick together. Now, where were you when I lost the story of the month contest to Mike Battaglia by a single vote? I sure could have used your help then, LOL!

Seriously, thank you, and I am glad you enjoyed the story.

reply by billscott on 12-Jul-2014

Uh oh....i gotta stay privy to your contest entries then...my bad :(

Please let me know when you enter contests...really.

Pleasant screams (as you always say) lol

reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014

Well, you can't really stay on top of my contests everyday as many of them are blind entries. Just always do your best to check out what's there, and try to support the authors who enter by voting. That's a huge problem around here, rarely does anyone bother to vote.

Comment from Just2Write

Excellent

Urine trickled down his leg, pooling on the marble floor beneath him
Yup. That's what would happen to me. Great bit of macabre humour.

Dang, I hate when I run out of sixes so early in the week. This one surely deserved it. Beautifully penned and chocked full of suspense and with a fantastic twist of the doctor's son being the perpetrator. I like your slow build into the heart-pounding pace later on. The elevator of course, being essential to the story build up was both accurate for such an antique piece of equipment, and severed to take the reader's mind of the coming events.

Exceptional write, Dean. Congratulations on your 2nd place finish with this piece. Rose.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

Thanks, Rose. I appreciate the too kind review. If it had only been just a wee bit more suspenseful, just a bit more terrifying. But, the gloves are off for this boy now. No more Mister Nice Guy when it comes to holding out or holding back on my horror tales from now on. Just wait and see...

reply by Just2Write on 03-Jul-2014

I dunno, Dean - I thought it was plenty suspenseful, and it was scary as all get out. Who know why one wins and another doesn't? The judging is done by humans (at least we hope so) and there's no accounting for taste. This one was a winner in my books.

R.

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Thanks, I appreciate that! :}

Comment from LoannaLois

Excellent

This is a ten, ..O.k. An eleven or twelve.. You had me from her fingernail polish to the red bands. And, oh dear...didn't think of his son being one of them! Arrrrrrghhh. Great great story.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

Thank you, Lois. I only wish a couple more voters had felt as you do. Then my funny money coffer wouldn't be sitting here on "E", LOL.

Thanks again!

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

Second place Story of the month Dean! Congratulations.
Well deserved. I would have been dead of fright at the beginning of this story. LOL It certainly is a scary one. xsx Nancy

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014

Thank you, Nancy. I appreciate you taking the time to review it for me.

Comment from daeneam

Excellent

Wow! Dean Kuch is reading about Filipino urban myth! I'm honored. This is a long story and the time is 11:13 PM. Forty-seven minutes to midnight - I managed to finish this without being bored. I'm also extraordinarily brave tonight, hehe...

I have heard, read and watched horror/thriller stories. I got goosies, but I don't entertain them, especially when I am working late. I bear in my mind that it is not true, although I had three weird experiences which I couldn't explain using science.

First - when I was a kid - I or we heard a voice coming from the ground. The second one - I've seen a ghost and it was verified by a companion and the third - my close friend got possessed by the so-called gray dwarf.

I'm too late reading this... but I enjoyed it! Very, very Dean Kuch! Good night and God bless... c", MAE

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014

Thanks a million, Mae. I'm glad it didn't freak you out too badly, hee-hee. I'd run across the myth while doing research for an entirely different stroy. I seemed to beg for a horror write, so, that's what I did. Unfortunately, it could have been a little bit better, apparently. Ah well, you liked it anyway, and that's all that really matters.

Sleep tight, Mae. And Pleasant Screams, heh-heh...

reply by daeneam on 01-Jul-2014

Good morning, my friend!...

I have a story in mind, but I don't have the guts to write it. I was just writing the first sentence but I felt my head bulging in fear hehe... I'll share it with you once I have companions at my house.

Have a nice day! c", mae

Comment from Acquired Taste

Excellent

No 6s left, so 5 will have to suffice. Loved this - my kind of internal terror that leaves your bowels in your throat.

Will say, the moment he thought of his son I knew he was on a slab or had the gun in his hand. Yet, your writing kept me thoroughly engaged.

As David Carradine would share: Ah sensi - no fear in this dojo......

AT=/

AT=/ Jean

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014

Thanks, Jean. It's trailing by a single vote right now, but I hope there is still time to pull one out yet.

Hah ha, loved the Sensi line. That was go-o-o-o-d, LOL...

Comment from Mike Battaglia

Exceptional

I have to confess, sir... I started reading this yonks ago, and got interrupted somehow. I couldn't tell you how. I apologize to only coming back to it now. But honestly? It was worth the wait.

You're bringing creepy back, Dean. No need for blood and guts--even though you present us with a morgue--oh no. You opt for genuine, good-old-fashioned goosebumps. And no one delivers like you do.

One of the things I love most about you is how you find a misbegotten piece of obscure history, and metamorphosize it into something that is entirely your own, from your own twisted imagination. That's why your author's notes add so much to your work. You read it, and are spooked, but then you deliver your gut-punch but explaining the details of where the story came from, lending it credibility after the fact, which is absolutely brilliant.

You took you time building the dread. I visualised the elevator, the morgue, the hospital, the characters, all of it so clearly. It was like watching more than reading. Your voice was still there on the page, but this was so tight-knit that I didn't get a chance to register your voice. That's a compliment. Your story was too absorbing for me to notice who was telling it.

This was twelve shades of creepy. MY kind of creepy. I have a lot to learn from you, sir.

--Mike

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Ha ha, but, ah...who's leading who in the Story of the Month contest, my dear friend?

It appears I have a lot to learn from you.

Thanks, Mike...

Comment from TheWriteTeach

Exceptional

I missed a lot these last few weeks when I wasn't around. I didn't know this piece was out there. I love it. It is creepy beyond creepy. I held my breath a few times. Mother Nature added her two cents into this piece while I was reading. A bad thunderstorm came up with booms that rattled the house and lightening zigged and zagged something awful. Then the worst - my lights actually went out. Nice to have battery backup on the laptop! Talk about chills and mile high goose bumps! Anyway, this is awesome, Dean. Nice work.

Suzanne

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks so much, Suzanne. It's holding it's own right now, and I sure appreciate the encouraging review, and the six stars!

reply by TheWriteTeach on 25-Jun-2014

It got my vote, that's for sure. BTW, the storm's gone and the lights are back on. Was that an omen or what? LOL! You are most welcome for the stars, but this story deserved every last one of them. I don't part with them all that easy - gotta earn 'em. ;oP

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

And that's what I appreciate about you reviews. You make us earn them.

Thanks again.

reply by TheWriteTeach on 25-Jun-2014

Ha! It's a tough job, but somebody's got to keep you honest! LOL!!!

Comment from ProjectBluebook

Excellent

This is a beauty, mate. Loved everything about it. The pictures are great, too. A lot of work went into this one. You have a gift when it comes to the spooky stuff. Think ... I will call you Spooky Dean ... from here on. Sensational! wackydo. Aye, Cap'n you stole me vote. I shall give it.

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014

Thanks, Wackydo, I appreciate both your friendship and support. Oh, thanks for the review as well, LOL.

reply by ProjectBluebook on 23-Jun-2014

No problem.

reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014

:>}

Comment from Sasha

Exceptional

This is beyond awesome. You are truly the King of Horror. Great story and sent shivers up my spine too. Keep up the great work. One of these days, you'll have to explain how you get illustrations into the story...I, for the life of me cannot figure it out.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Hah, you and a bunch of others can't figure it out, Smurphgirl, LOL.

I'm really glad you liked the story. And I don't know about being the "King of Horror", as fleedlehump bested me in this years FanStory sponsored horror story contest. If you haven't read his winning story, The Hole Truth, and you like chilling tales, I highly recommend it. Mike Battaglia is also an excellent author of chilling tales. No, I'm one of many on this particular site, but I'm sincerely flattered that you feel that way at least.

Thanks for the outstanding review and six stars, Smurphgirl. I truly appreciate both.

reply by Sasha on 22-Jun-2014

I read Fleedleflumps The Hole Truth and LOVED IT...he is a terrific writer no matter what he writes!

reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

He certainly is.