The contender
Battling all odds a champion is crowned.5 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
Bookend poem "Round Two."
Confetti- filled sky
punches holes in passing clouds
small glimmer of light
nudges days of discontent
hope draws a line in the sand.
An interesting stand alone poem :-) It evokes the imagery intended in "behind every cloud there's a silver lining" without actually stepping over the line :-)
Paired with "The Battle" - it becomes even more powerful, as the original poem set the scene so definitively, and when combined we see a fuller picture developing.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2014
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Bookend poem "Round Two."
Confetti- filled sky
punches holes in passing clouds
small glimmer of light
nudges days of discontent
hope draws a line in the sand.
An interesting stand alone poem :-) It evokes the imagery intended in "behind every cloud there's a silver lining" without actually stepping over the line :-)
Paired with "The Battle" - it becomes even more powerful, as the original poem set the scene so definitively, and when combined we see a fuller picture developing.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the positive comments. This was an interesting challenge.
Comment from rouskin
nudges days of discontent hope draws a line in the sand.... Well done I wish you the best of luck in the contest Blessings, Roouskin
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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nudges days of discontent hope draws a line in the sand.... Well done I wish you the best of luck in the contest Blessings, Roouskin
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from adewpearl
You have done a good job of pairing the original and the sequel as the contest instructs
I like the imagery of confetti-filled sky - add the hyphen
good consonance of L sounds
good alliteration in days of discontent
I love the message of the closing line
Brooke
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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You have done a good job of pairing the original and the sequel as the contest instructs
I like the imagery of confetti-filled sky - add the hyphen
good consonance of L sounds
good alliteration in days of discontent
I love the message of the closing line
Brooke
Comment Written 11-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Liilia
Very hopeful bookend here. The presentation is powerful - the grays and the black and white of the boxing gloves gives the effect of losing, depression, gloom. The hope poem is golden and the sky fills with confetti, punching holes in the clouds - love those images - and the 'nudging' of days of discontent. I like the fact that it's not a black and white thing, but rather a slow progression from darkness to light. Good luck in this interesting contest.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Very hopeful bookend here. The presentation is powerful - the grays and the black and white of the boxing gloves gives the effect of losing, depression, gloom. The hope poem is golden and the sky fills with confetti, punching holes in the clouds - love those images - and the 'nudging' of days of discontent. I like the fact that it's not a black and white thing, but rather a slow progression from darkness to light. Good luck in this interesting contest.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi,
This is a nice paring of two poems. I love the artwork with the boxing gloves signifying the fight, the struggles from within.
Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers,
Keep Smilin'... Jax
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Hi,
This is a nice paring of two poems. I love the artwork with the boxing gloves signifying the fight, the struggles from within.
Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers,
Keep Smilin'... Jax
Comment Written 11-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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thanks for reviewing and the good luck wish.