Comment from pattipac

Excellent

Your lovely art work selection serves as the perfect introduction to your poem about the endangered Mt. Charleston blue butterfly, a desert treasure.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Hi pattipac, so glad you enjoyed this one. Rod

Comment from krys123

Excellent

RodG, wow, the pictures so enhancing for this piece of poetry that is just amazing such a beautiful butterfly it is then you give it justice which your beautiful haiku. Your first line or satori really sums up the rest of your poem why your first two lines are very expressive and descriptive and are very connecting. Thank you so much for sharing in posting this for everyone and may all your endeavors be good ones.
Alex

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thank you, Alex, for your most encouraging review and wonderful praise. Rod

reply by krys123 on 20-Jun-2014

You are so welcome my friend

Comment from Jean Lutz

Excellent

Already it looks a bit ghost-like to me. Thank you for using your talent to introduce me to it. Beautiful words and artwork and I wish you well with the entry.

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014

Thank you so much, Jean, for your wonderful praise and best wishes. Rod

Comment from Quire's Gal

Excellent

Hi Rod,

You have a very nice haiku. Your Satori is clear and effective and I love "dusky as the mouintin sky"

The reason for the 4 stars is your title needs to read like this...

haiku (endangered beauty)

edit this, send me a message and I will re-rate.

Good luck in the contest,
Drusilla1

Thanks for getting back to me Rod and I've upgraded your rating. As for my directions, I am sorry I was not clear as to the format needed for your title. It's kind of an unwritten law amongst haiku writers and I charged a higher fee to attract skilled haiku writers, but I should have made that clearer. All haiku are titled that way for your future reference.
Thanks for your feedback.
Drusilla1

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014

Hi Drusilla, I know you created the contest, but no where in your directions does it say the title cannot be as I did mine. I reread the directions several times before posting to see if I had to do it as you suggest. I am not concerned about the rating, but I think your directions should have been made clearer. Rod

Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

This is a beautifully presented haiku, and the satori works well as the first line. It does seem to me that the butterfly should be mentioned somewhere within the poem itself instead of depending on the picture and the title. But the whole package does make me sad that such a beautiful creature might become extinct. Best wishes, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014

Thank you, Jeanie, for such a kind--and honest--critique. I was relieved when the contest did not require the first line to be the title; otherwise, I am not sure how I could have put "butterfly" into the actual poem. Rod

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

"endangered beauty
dusky as the mountain sky
rests on desert bloom"
this is a lovely piece of poetic art! and a very good entry! i thoroughly enjoyed this poem! well-written and a nice one!
thank you for sharing!

rebekka x

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014

Thank you so much, rebekka, for your wonderful critique. Rod

Comment from Fleedleflump

Excellent

I adore your central line - what a beautiful, effective description. I've read several of these satori-first haiku and I have to say I really enjoy them. This is an excellent piece.

Mike

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014

Mike, i am so pleased you read and enjoyed mine. Thanks for your gracious praise. Rod