Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

How beautiful, Dean :) I love it. You won't believe how I came across this beautiful piece that would be hard to find. I'll tell you someday.

I just read the poem for our meter class, The Charge of the Light Brigade, it made me cry. It's so so so beautiful, and with the music and the girl reciting the poem was very good. Anyway... yours is a great poem too. I am very proud of you, darlin.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016

Thanks, Gypsy.
Yeah, that poem's pretty old, maybe two or three years or so.
I'm glad you liked it and I appreciate you giving it a go.
As for Tennyson's Charge of the Light Brigade, it has always been on of my favorite poems.It was written to memorialize a suicidal charge by light cavalry over open terrain by British forces in the Battle of Balaclava (Ukraine) in the Crimean War (1854-56). 247 men of the 637 in the charge were killed or wounded. Britain entered the war, which was fought by Russia against Turkey, Britain and France, because Russia sought to control the Dardanelles. Russian control of the Dardanelles threatened British sea routes.
Many in the west best know of this war today because of Florence Nightingale, who trained and led nurses aiding the wounded during the war in a manner innovative for those times. The War was also noteworthy as an early example of the work of modern war correspondents.
Later, darlin', and thanks again!
~Dean ;)

reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 09-Jul-2016

Dearest Dean, I know the story, I read it in Wiki but you gave me more detail. Thank you.

I don't know why but since last night after I listened to our assignment, 'The Charge of the Light Brigade (TCOTLB) video', 10 times, I can't get it out of my mind and I have been crying on and off since then. I hope you don't think I am a total nut job.

Putting aside that TCOTLB is a poetic stroke of genius of historic proportion It's also an outrages tragedy.

I am a very sensitive and empathic person and I have the ability to put myself in situations. That is why haiku is easy for me.

I don't know why it's affecting me so deeply but it has to do with being an emphatic (a curse sometimes and a blessing others).

I read that story and took it from a different perspective, a more intimate one.

This is what is most disturbing and tragic to me:

The nobleness of supporting one's country, and the poem's tone== hoof beat cadences= are rousing, it pulls no punches about the horror of war: "Cannon to the right of them, /Cannon to left of them, / Cannon in front of them / Volley'd & thunder'd". = "into the valley of Death"-- Tennyson works in resonance with "the valley of the shadow of Death" from Psalm 23 Tennyson's Crimea "into the jaws of Death" and "into the mouth of Hell" it's a strong foundation and the reason why the poem has being used at funerals and movies for a century.

The British light cavalry had no business in that fight led by Lord Cardigan against Russian forces during the Battle of Balaclava on 25 October 1854, in the Crimean War. Lord Raglan, the overall commander of the British forces, had intended to send the Light Brigade to pursue and harry a retreating Russian artillery battery, a task well-suited to light cavalry. However, due to miscommunication in the chain of command, TCOTLB were placed in a frontal assault that was more dangerous.

That was probably the greatest screw up in the history of war.

I put myself in the shoes of TCOTLB and I get so sad and angry. Can you imagine the moment they realized they were headed to a short death of no return? And yet, they stood their ground and fought like braves accepting the insane suicide mission because they had their order. A noble and brave act.

Part of the situation is the tragedy of it and their pain and loss, part is that my boyfriend was in the war and I put myself in that situation. I would be devastated if I had lost him in the war. He feels the same but for his pets who loves dearly and even movies affect him deeply. I guess it's loss, grief, reliving past losses and imagining future ones.

Pretty stupid, huh?

It was a pleasure reading your poem and I was happy I found it by chance. I hope you don't mind I copied to keep and shared it on my facebook page. As your friend I feel very proud of you and how talented you are. It boggles my mind that you haven't being published in greater scale.

Take care, my dear friend,

Gypsy

Comment from mountainwriter49

Exceptional

HI, Dean
Congratulations on placing in the contest with this most impressive poem. I admired how the story was well developed and kept the attention of the reader. The meter was smooth and I found it interesting you switched from iambic to trochaic in two lines. End rhymes were strong. The poem evokes strong emotions during the read. Well done, my friend.
Ray

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2014

First of all, thanks very much for both your complimentary and congratulatory comments, Ray, and for your exceptional rating as well.

I'll do that often from time to time-- switch gears in meter to highlight a particular place in the poem, especially the longer ones. I try and make it as seamless as possible, but adept poets such as yourself always manage to spot the changes.

I'm very happy to know you enjoyed reading it, and again, i sincerely appreciate you taking the time to critique my work.

Thanks again Ray. :)

~Dean

Comment from MissMerri

Exceptional

I found this poem so moving, so relatable, and so visual. It flows marvelously and creates such clear, vivid images in the reader's mind. The rhymes are creative, yet never unnatural and the meter is a delight. All things considered, I think this is a poem most deserving of six (or maybe even seven) stars. I always enjoy your poetry. MM

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Dec-2014

Thanks, MissMerri, you are too kind. You've got me blushing here (can you see the rosy-red glow? LOL)

It has my usual elements of darkness, but was meant to be more of an eternal love story more than anything else. I'm so happy you decided to read it for yourself and fomulate your own opinions.

I'm very grateful to you for giving it a shot, and for all the wonderful things you wrote associated with my work.

Thanks so much again. :}

~Dean

Comment from Acquired Taste

Excellent

Love it - actually thought he would fall upon the statue he carved early on just to be with her.

Darkly romantic and very visual. Jean

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2014

Thank you very much for digging this one up and reviewing it for me, Jean. I really value your opinion, and your feedback is always appreciated. Thanks again!

Comment from Muffins

Excellent

The rhyming and meter are beautifully executed in this poem. The depth of the old man's sorrow and grief streams out like a waterfall, massive but also delicate. The reader is filled with compassion and empathy for this poor man ,and feels joy at the end when he is reunited with his soul mate.

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thank you, Muffins. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.

Comment from GracieAnn

Excellent

Dean, this is well written on many levels. The rhyme and meter is engaging with a true to life look at aging and also how what we desire many times comes true. Very creative and interesting. :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014

Thanks so much, GracieAnn. I really appreciate that.

This began life as a horror poem but became something altogether different by the time I was done writing it. I'm so glad you liked it.

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Exceptional

This is beautifully written Dean and it gave me goosebumps by the time I got to the end. Great drawings that set off this write well.Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014

Thanks so much for your wonderful review and the six stars, Pearl. I very much appreciate it!

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Excellent

Hi Dean Kuch,

Generally people misinterpret the Biblical (and Quranic) injunctions against 'Graven Images', and you are right, the Hebrew is 'an idol' an image of God (or a god), something to be worshipped.

I enjoyed this poem, the old man's carving is a lovely one. I think his final wish is something many of us will or would share in the same situation.

Patrick

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014

Thanks you very much, Patrick. I'm very pleased to know that you enjoyed it, my friend.

Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Exceptional

Aaah! Surely this one's a winner.
I really liked the smooth cadence and ease with which the tale unfolds.
Every line seems to just follow and fit perfectly after the last.
The images are great and reinforce the subject of the poem.
A master at work.

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014

Thank you, seken58, I'm very glad you think so. But my luck in contests voted on by that faceless entity known only as, The FanStory Committee, is spotty, at best. Especially as they pertain to poetry entries. Yet, I still keep trying.

I truly appreciate your fantastic review and six stars, my friend. Always a pleasure.

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Exceptional

Great entry for the Quatrain contest and such good pictures to accompany your poem. Very well written with good rhyming couplets - a couple of near rhyme in name/disdain and home/drones, but in such a long poem hardly worth mentioning. In stanza 8 did you mean the 'wife stirs quietly in her grave'? - Spooky! A really good read and deserving of a 6. Good Luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014

Thanks so much for the wonderful rating and review, Dorothy. Yes, his love for her was so great, and his grief so palpable, that his beloved wife rose from the grave to take him home.

Thanks so much again.