The Flower
Don't make pormises...31 total reviews
Comment from michaelcahill
This would have been perfect for the surprise ending prompt. I didn't see the end coming at all in this one. Hahaha. There is no way to write that without a little pun in mind! Great writing, very romantic and loving between the couple. A difficult genre and one that I've attempted and written some real lame drivel more than once. Well done. mikey
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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This would have been perfect for the surprise ending prompt. I didn't see the end coming at all in this one. Hahaha. There is no way to write that without a little pun in mind! Great writing, very romantic and loving between the couple. A difficult genre and one that I've attempted and written some real lame drivel more than once. Well done. mikey
Comment Written 25-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much. Ha! I doubt that, I bet you can write an epic erotic tale if you wanted to, and do it with humor.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is beautifully written. You have turned hot, steamy sex into a thing of pure sweetness and joy in this excellent narrative. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
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This is beautifully written. You have turned hot, steamy sex into a thing of pure sweetness and joy in this excellent narrative. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2014
Comment from jmdg1954
Overall your story is well penned and composed. Not written in total sleaze mode it has its share of innocence to it.
Normally I don't read mature posts because I'm not fully sure how to review.
Nicely done. John
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Overall your story is well penned and composed. Not written in total sleaze mode it has its share of innocence to it.
Normally I don't read mature posts because I'm not fully sure how to review.
Nicely done. John
Comment Written 25-Jun-2014
Comment from Delahay
I haven't read much "mature" fiction on this site but this is well written. It tells a good story without the sleaze some might expect from an adult story. All I can say about this one is I'm behind it all the way.
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I haven't read much "mature" fiction on this site but this is well written. It tells a good story without the sleaze some might expect from an adult story. All I can say about this one is I'm behind it all the way.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2014
Comment from SaluteDobby
Hi Lancelot,
This was a really steamy write. Written erotically without seeming sleazy. The dialogues and narration was penned really well. Kudos to you! I really enjoyed this story and will be sharing it with my husband :)
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Hi Lancelot,
This was a really steamy write. Written erotically without seeming sleazy. The dialogues and narration was penned really well. Kudos to you! I really enjoyed this story and will be sharing it with my husband :)
Comment Written 24-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from comanalbert
"What is a trifle?" I was once asked. After a search on translator I replied the obvious. I was wrong, they told me. "A mere trifle is the distance between the pink flower and the dark flower..."
How about that?
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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"What is a trifle?" I was once asked. After a search on translator I replied the obvious. I was wrong, they told me. "A mere trifle is the distance between the pink flower and the dark flower..."
How about that?
Comment Written 24-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from Erik McGinley
This unnerves a lot of guys and, being honest, it unnerved me.
I do not like 'quickies'. Well I do sort of, but they are not my preference. Sometimes, after a while, you just find yourself not quite where you meant to be.
That can be a pretty unpleasant experience or it can be really quite nice. It just depends on the circumstances I suppose. Not a thing to do after a heavy meal, let's put it that way ;)
I've also found that some women detest anal intercourse no matter how it happens. Thin women do seem to find it quite painful so that's really where the guy should ask.
Do I like it? Your story got it right, for me anyway. I don't mind as long as who I am with is happy with it (premeditated or not).
Psychologically, I suppose sometimes it can be very exciting if your girlfriend wants to have sex that way. Something you wrote about locks triggered this thought.
It's not normal, not for the usual purpose, it's very much like she is letting you inside her just for the sake of the pleasure of having you that close to her. For me that level of trust, when I feel it is that, is incredibly sensual and erotic.
I think it's a post act to normal sex though. You want the girl you are with to want to be your 'wife' first and want you to be her 'most intimate friend' second.
I realise that my review might be a contratemps. Bleh. Who cares? Your story really got me thinking about some sexual encounters and why they went the way they did.
Your ending is very ambiguous but I agree with your punchline. Sex is not that fun if the person you are with is not happy.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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This unnerves a lot of guys and, being honest, it unnerved me.
I do not like 'quickies'. Well I do sort of, but they are not my preference. Sometimes, after a while, you just find yourself not quite where you meant to be.
That can be a pretty unpleasant experience or it can be really quite nice. It just depends on the circumstances I suppose. Not a thing to do after a heavy meal, let's put it that way ;)
I've also found that some women detest anal intercourse no matter how it happens. Thin women do seem to find it quite painful so that's really where the guy should ask.
Do I like it? Your story got it right, for me anyway. I don't mind as long as who I am with is happy with it (premeditated or not).
Psychologically, I suppose sometimes it can be very exciting if your girlfriend wants to have sex that way. Something you wrote about locks triggered this thought.
It's not normal, not for the usual purpose, it's very much like she is letting you inside her just for the sake of the pleasure of having you that close to her. For me that level of trust, when I feel it is that, is incredibly sensual and erotic.
I think it's a post act to normal sex though. You want the girl you are with to want to be your 'wife' first and want you to be her 'most intimate friend' second.
I realise that my review might be a contratemps. Bleh. Who cares? Your story really got me thinking about some sexual encounters and why they went the way they did.
Your ending is very ambiguous but I agree with your punchline. Sex is not that fun if the person you are with is not happy.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from c_lucas
Sometimes what goes on in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Sometimes what goes on in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much
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You're wecome, Lancellot. Charlie
Comment from Spitfire
This is a well-written sex scene, but something confuses me.
In the beginning the narrator says:
Once before, he had entered me from behind, and despite our height difference, I wanted him to take me like that again.
Now she scared to death of the idea:
For a second, I was lost as I stared into his eyes, but then it dawned on me. Instantly, my body stiffened, and my muscles contracted. A flurry of panic bloomed deep within my core.
I don't get it. Why does she change her attitude.
Also, to quote:This was new. Jason had never been a very passionate man. He didn't pinch, spank or do anything that wasn't
What has happened to Jason to suddenly change his way?
That would make for a story.
As fiction, this doesn't really have much of a plot, but a hell of a climax however. LOL
I'd rate it five because it is well written, but as fiction, it needs improvement.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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This is a well-written sex scene, but something confuses me.
In the beginning the narrator says:
Once before, he had entered me from behind, and despite our height difference, I wanted him to take me like that again.
Now she scared to death of the idea:
For a second, I was lost as I stared into his eyes, but then it dawned on me. Instantly, my body stiffened, and my muscles contracted. A flurry of panic bloomed deep within my core.
I don't get it. Why does she change her attitude.
Also, to quote:This was new. Jason had never been a very passionate man. He didn't pinch, spank or do anything that wasn't
What has happened to Jason to suddenly change his way?
That would make for a story.
As fiction, this doesn't really have much of a plot, but a hell of a climax however. LOL
I'd rate it five because it is well written, but as fiction, it needs improvement.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Wow, that's interesting, but sometimes when I read things, I miss a few things.
When she spoke about him taking her from behind, in the shower. She did mean anal, just sex from behind. You can do it that way, but it is hard to do while standing, because of the height difference between most men and women. she states this, plus she mentioned standing on her toes. ( to rise up). There is no change in attitude, that is just penetration from the back.
In the begining she wrote, why the change. She stated that that day was his birthday. Remember, he came home while she was still making his cake. She also, wrote that he was preparred for anal sex, he bought lube, and had it in his dresser. This was his birthday present. (this also, happens very often in real life)
This is a fictional Diary entry, as mentioned in the first line. The plot was about their love, and her willingness to give something new and a sacrefice for it, but that same love prevented him from doing it, because there would not have been a shared joy.
The characters are fictional but the story is real. I know I was the husband.
Thank you for reading. :)
Comment from Cian Mateo
Hot! Very hot! And, very well written, Lancellot!
You've chosen a sexual theme that many would perceive as indecent, and with that; created a very steamy read that I thoroughly enjoyed.
The emotions expressed are real, and written on a subliminal level that adds to the eroticism of your piece.
Great visual description!
Thank you for sharing.
Cian
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Hot! Very hot! And, very well written, Lancellot!
You've chosen a sexual theme that many would perceive as indecent, and with that; created a very steamy read that I thoroughly enjoyed.
The emotions expressed are real, and written on a subliminal level that adds to the eroticism of your piece.
Great visual description!
Thank you for sharing.
Cian
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much, Cian. I am glad you liked the story. It was inspired by the picture I saw on Google images.