Comment from forestport12

Excellent

I could imagine that river with the simple word resplendent. Like a sparkling, meandering creek. Love this tender side of your poetry.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014

Thanks very much, Stan. I appreciate that, my friend.

Comment from ProjectBluebook

Excellent

This is cute. A good poem too. Don't know how you did in the contest? If my memory is right ... Namastalee won that one. She is hard to beat. This is very good, regardless of the outcome. Sometimes ... the best poem don't win. Some pepole can get 5 reviews and 10 votes? I can get an All Time Best and lose to someone with only five reviews? You do the math. This looks like a winner to me ... wackydo

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014

Thanks, Wackydo, I know exactly what you mean. My problem is that I listen and conform to the opinions of others. I came in second, and I should have left it as it was. Next time, I'll enter a horror haiku. Just watch and see if I don't, LOL...

reply by ProjectBluebook on 27-Jun-2014

You are the master of horror. No one can beat you at your own game.

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

I enjoyed reading your haiku Dean. I've been out of touch for a while and was happy when I logged in to see a piece by you. Fawns are alway a special treat to see in the wild. Great picture to enhance your well written poem.
Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014

Thanks, Janet. I love watching fawns at play. But apparently, more voters prefer thunderous rapids, as I lost the contest, coming in second place.

Thanks for the review. I sure coulda' used your vote, LOL...

Comment from Delahay

Excellent

You have chosen a such a cute picture to accompany your writing. Your poem invokes an image of a beautiful, roiling river cascading through a forest as the creature living in the area come by for a drink.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Yeah, but it didn't evoke enough of a feeling to get the win, Ward. I lost again. it seems folks prefer thunderous rapids over frolicking fawns any day of the week.

Thanks for the review.

reply by Delahay on 26-Jun-2014

Well what do they know anyway?

reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

:>}...they know that the other entry was better than mine, LOL...

Comment from mermaids

Excellent

I like the image of the deer at play near the river. Your words create a picture of nature that makes the reader feel good. In few words,one feels like she is in the forest.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Thanks, mermaids. The voters all seemed to prefer thunderous rapids much more than playful fawns. Oh well, live and learn...

Comment from Patti R.

Excellent

This is a good haiku, Dean. Your word choices are solid bringing that 'lushness' to the reader. You've highlighted the need for fresh water in our forests to support all that resides there.

Cute pic - the whitetail fawn loses his spots by 3 months of age, so these little guys aren't quite yearlings, just an anal detail I felt I needed to point out!

Good luck.

Patti

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Yeah, well, it just lost, Patti, about a minute ago. So, thanks for the review and well wishes anyhow.

Comment from Lulube

Excellent

good imagery for this free flowing river through the wilderness where the dovetail little ones play.
good luck in the contest

lulube

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Thanks, LuLube. It's not doing too well right now, but that's okay, I'm used to it by now, LOL.

reply by Lulube on 26-Jun-2014

you win a lot of contests, don't short yourself Dean

lulube

reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Ha ha, no, I really don't, Lulube. Often, I conform to others and listen to their opinions. I will even alter my poem, like the river haiku I just lost five seconds ago, to incorporate their likes and dislikes. No, I come in second a great deal, and I "used" to win my fair share, but not any longer. I don't know why I keep bothering to enter.

reply by Lulube on 26-Jun-2014

seconds not so bad either. I'm lucky if I get one vote, now that's discouraging

lulube

Comment from Schalk Jacobs

Excellent

I think you have encompassed all the rules for this contest excellently in this haiku. The imagery projected by the first two lines are perfect and then the santori of the yearlings. Brilliance.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Thanks, Schalk. Too bad more voters don't feel as you do.

I appreciate the review, my friend.

Comment from Capricorn30

Excellent

Well penned haiku, incorporating good alliteration;
"lush wilderness"--forests not only provide a lush environment for animals to frolic they are vital for survival.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Thank you, Capricorn30. That was the entire point I was attempting to make in the haiku. Our rivers, steams and waterways are our very source of existence, so we should protect, not pollute, them at all costs. This resplendent river fed these thirsty fawns, but we all need them in our own right.

Thanks again!

reply by Capricorn30 on 26-Jun-2014

Sure,
you're welcome.

Comment from GabbyLew

Excellent

This is a great Haiku, and I appreciate you using the traditional 5-7-5 format. The satori is quite vivid and pairing it with the image instead of the river helped to connect the whole thing more strongly.

I enjoyed this, so great job.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Thanks, Gabby. I wish more voters enjoyed it, too.