Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "Views"Assorted poetry
4 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in excellent syllable count for the tanka
same/some seem/sight/skew - good alliterative grouping
an insightful observation in good poetic form
Brooke
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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Your poem is in excellent syllable count for the tanka
same/some seem/sight/skew - good alliterative grouping
an insightful observation in good poetic form
Brooke
Comment Written 26-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Brooke, for taking a peek at this.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Bill - You have a solid tanka here and have crafted it with a deeper pondering awareness....loved your last line.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Our temples rise from 5
the same earth at the same time 7
though some seem taller; 5
the sight from those temples seems 7
to skew their occupants' views 7
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Dear Bill - You have a solid tanka here and have crafted it with a deeper pondering awareness....loved your last line.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Our temples rise from 5
the same earth at the same time 7
though some seem taller; 5
the sight from those temples seems 7
to skew their occupants' views 7
Comment Written 24-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Maureen, for the kind review.
Comment from prefabmouse
Often the reader never really knows what the writer was thinking when they wrote a poem. I like that because it leaves it up to me, the reader, to gleam my own meaning from it.
This one spoke to me of how the trappings of religions often get in the way of the real message that is being spoken.
I really enjoyed reading and pondering it's meaning. Thanks for the mental ride.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Often the reader never really knows what the writer was thinking when they wrote a poem. I like that because it leaves it up to me, the reader, to gleam my own meaning from it.
This one spoke to me of how the trappings of religions often get in the way of the real message that is being spoken.
I really enjoyed reading and pondering it's meaning. Thanks for the mental ride.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the excellent review. I like your interpretation. Bill
Comment from LIJ Red
Space filler:Do you mean the God of the small unpainted sagging church in the wildwood is a small unpainted sagging God? Taller temples mean the priests were able to squeeze more out of their congregation? Good writing, by the way.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Space filler:Do you mean the God of the small unpainted sagging church in the wildwood is a small unpainted sagging God? Taller temples mean the priests were able to squeeze more out of their congregation? Good writing, by the way.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Thank you, LIJ, for giving this a look.