King Sawyer
a story poem in rhyming couplets115 total reviews
Comment from Ricky1024
This is Cher a story in a poem contest entry about a king Sawyer who does nothing much more then sleep and awake and command his needs to save his castle from the forces of waves they failed the first time the million did he has working for him so he hired three more and a million and three or able to help save the castle when doing was at the door and he takes credit for hiring the three and that's just the way it always be good luck with this well-written doctor Ricky 1024
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This is Cher a story in a poem contest entry about a king Sawyer who does nothing much more then sleep and awake and command his needs to save his castle from the forces of waves they failed the first time the million did he has working for him so he hired three more and a million and three or able to help save the castle when doing was at the door and he takes credit for hiring the three and that's just the way it always be good luck with this well-written doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 29-Nov-2017
Comment from marion
Damn! Another six for you ... I can't help it. I read so many poems here, but they do nothing for me. (without offence) I don't say it in a bad way, it's just there is a distinct lack of originality in much of what I read. And because they don't hold depth, that third dimension, I expect to see shine through. Where only a snippet is actually said, and the rest left for you to ponder, the underlying. You never let me down. Marion.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Damn! Another six for you ... I can't help it. I read so many poems here, but they do nothing for me. (without offence) I don't say it in a bad way, it's just there is a distinct lack of originality in much of what I read. And because they don't hold depth, that third dimension, I expect to see shine through. Where only a snippet is actually said, and the rest left for you to ponder, the underlying. You never let me down. Marion.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Marion, LOL. Thank you so much, my generous friend :-) I understand what you mean - I read some poems, that are competently written, but five minutes later I can't remember them because they did nothing to touch me. I am so happy my work doesn't have that effect on you :-) Brooke
Comment from Gaye Hemsley
Hi Brooke A fun poem which really tells a story of a day at the beach for your little grandson.Lovely photo and as usual well rhymed.
PS Sorry I haven't been on FS for a while overloaded with projects Cheers Gaye
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Hi Brooke A fun poem which really tells a story of a day at the beach for your little grandson.Lovely photo and as usual well rhymed.
PS Sorry I haven't been on FS for a while overloaded with projects Cheers Gaye
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Gaye, it is great to see you. Just so you are happy with your projects, I'm happy for you :-) Thanks so much for your review. Brooke
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More than happy but sometimes I wish I could split myself in two or three.
Comment from Joan E.
Being in charge or the king is seductive, but Sawyer has so many choices--maybe, now he'll want to be an architect (based on his moat-building skills)! I enjoyed the specific details in this tale, like the "million three" and "half past noon," along with your clever rhymed couplets. Hugs- Joan
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Being in charge or the king is seductive, but Sawyer has so many choices--maybe, now he'll want to be an architect (based on his moat-building skills)! I enjoyed the specific details in this tale, like the "million three" and "half past noon," along with your clever rhymed couplets. Hugs- Joan
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Joan, thanks so much, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from James Dooney
Well done here Brooke ! I like what you have done here with this one once again. Its got your trademarks ! Keep up the good stuff !
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Well done here Brooke ! I like what you have done here with this one once again. Its got your trademarks ! Keep up the good stuff !
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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James, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from JonnyRhymes
This one made me chuckle. You have manage to combine many elements here: an amusing tale about a child, a "legend-style" tone/ use of language, and even some social commentary. Great stuff!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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This one made me chuckle. You have manage to combine many elements here: an amusing tale about a child, a "legend-style" tone/ use of language, and even some social commentary. Great stuff!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Jonny, thank you so very much :-) I very much appreciate your generous rating and thoughtful review. Brooke
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, brooke, you did an excellent job writing this quatrain poem about the king who thought his thoughts to be the best, and forgot to thank the ones that passed the test. they held the fort and fought the sea, but it was King that found a million and three. good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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this is very well written, brooke, you did an excellent job writing this quatrain poem about the king who thought his thoughts to be the best, and forgot to thank the ones that passed the test. they held the fort and fought the sea, but it was King that found a million and three. good luck in the contest
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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sweetwoodjax, thank you so much for your generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from tfawcus
It sounds as though Sawyer is being well groomed for kingship. It scarcely matters how many kings have to serve them, there always seems to be room for an extra three - as is also the case in a bureaucracy! An entertaining poem with a suspicion of social comment!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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It sounds as though Sawyer is being well groomed for kingship. It scarcely matters how many kings have to serve them, there always seems to be room for an extra three - as is also the case in a bureaucracy! An entertaining poem with a suspicion of social comment!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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tfawcus, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Deniz22
Lovin' it! He's a prince of a fellow, soon to be king. He'll be a good, practiced one, since even now he rules his Gramar's heart with but a loving look. :)
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Lovin' it! He's a prince of a fellow, soon to be king. He'll be a good, practiced one, since even now he rules his Gramar's heart with but a loving look. :)
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Thanks, Dennis, for your generous response to his poem :-) Brooke
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A great rhyming quatrain story in a poem and which would be very appealing to children, it should do well in the contest as yours always do, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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A great rhyming quatrain story in a poem and which would be very appealing to children, it should do well in the contest as yours always do, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Debbie, thank you so much :-) Brooke